Grizzly Secret (Arcadian Bears Book 3) Page 12

  But he bit his tongue and held his thoughts.

  Family loyalty. He was beginning to lose sight of what that meant. Family loyalty? When was he going to be permitted to extend that loyalty to his mate? The woman he should be living with.

  When was he going to break away from what was expected of him and permit himself to switch his loyalty to his mate?

  He couldn’t put the blame for this fucked-up situation on anyone else. He did this to himself. He agreed with her to return home to join their respective family businesses two years ago, thinking it would destroy them if they ran off and left their families high and dry.

  He’d feared exile from the people he loved most. He’d worried himself to death that Joselyn would never be happy if she hurt her parents and brothers and they never spoke to her again.

  But would that have happened? And more importantly, would it happen if they came out as a couple today?

  He winced. Today was gone. And tomorrow would change everything. His fear was real. She might be pissed enough at his familial allegiance to turn him away. After all, what asshole did this to his other half?

  Or maybe he was over-thinking things, and she wouldn’t see it as a big deal? So what? So his brewery was launching a new product?

  He prayed his nerves were unwarranted and he was turning a rain shower into a hurricane unnecessarily.

  “You’re thinking hard too, hon.” She patted his chest.

  “Yeah.” He made a decision. Perhaps if he talked to her, made a plan for the future, something definitive, it would soften the blow tomorrow. Maybe knowing his intentions toward her would keep her mind from thinking the worst of him when the news broke.

  He gently peeled her from his chest and scooted back to sit up against the headboard. When he was situated, he lifted her onto his lap. She wiggled around, tossing one leg over his until she straddled him, her warm pussy resting against his already once-again hard cock.

  He stared down at the vision of her gorgeous breasts in front of him as she arched forward. Unable to do anything else, he slid his hands around to her chest and cupped the soft flesh of her globes. He tapped a spot on the inside of one breast. “You’re going to bruise.” Her skin was delicate. He winced. On the other hand, as a shifter, her healing power would eliminate the bruising quickly.

  She looked down. “Yeah. And I’ll get aroused tomorrow every time I think of your fingers grasping me so firmly. When I touch the spot, the slight pain will remind me how it felt to have your cock buried deep while you fingered me…in some interesting places.” She flushed.

  “Well, I’m not going to complain.” His cock pulsed against her. “Not saying I want to treat you like that every time. There’s a time and a place for gentle lovemaking, but if you enjoy it rough sometimes too, I’ll never deny you that, baby.”

  She sighed. “What are we going to do?” she implored.

  He took a deep breath. “I don’t know, but I say we start planning.”

  “I don’t think there’s much to plan. I mean, we don’t know a single variable. The only thing we can do is call a family meeting, tell everyone, and see what they say.”

  He nodded. “It’s not like their reactions will influence us one way or the other. We won’t be asking for permission. We’ll be asking for acceptance.”

  “Exactly.”

  “So we do this with all of them together? Or smaller groups? Your parents at one time and mine at another? Do we invite siblings?”

  “I don’t know. Can you think of a plausible way we could convince all those people to come to the same place at the same time? I mean, it’s going to take us about a half a second to tell them the news, and then our part will be done. All we can do is sit back and see how they react.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “And there’s no way to predict the reaction from either side, so our plans kind of end with the big reveal. When put that way, it seems so simple. What have we been waiting for?” he joked. “All I have to do is say, ‘Hey, everyone, Joselyn and I are in love. We’re going to bind together, and we want your blessing.’”

  She grinned. “You make it sound so easy.”

  “Oh, that part’s the easy part.”

  “Yeah.” Her shoulders slumped. “Given what we’ve seen lately with our fathers working together, especially helping Austin and Nuria a few weeks ago, I can’t imagine any of them freaking out and going ballistic on us.”

  “Me neither. Too bad our family trees fork in about nineteen other directions. Even if we did have the support of our immediate families, there’s no way my extended family is going to buy this. I can list at least a dozen bigoted aunts, uncles, and cousins off the top of my head who will tell me to go to hell and not return.”

  “Yeah. Me too. But we can’t continue to live like this to appease distant relatives. We can’t even continue on this path if we don’t have the support of our parents. It’s tearing me up.”

  “I know, baby. I totally agree.” He slid his hands up her body again until he could cup her face. He watched her get emotional again, and he couldn’t blame her.

  The truth was he was doing her an injustice by allowing and even encouraging this charade for so long. She deserved better. She deserved to bind to a man who could grow a damn spine and stand up to his parents and hers, challenging them all to consider the implications of disowning their own flesh and blood.

  “How about we discuss some possible outcomes and what responses we intend to have,” she suggested.

  “Okay. Best case scenario first.”

  She nodded. “We tell our parents, they cry for what we’ve been through, hug us both, and welcome each of us into the fold of the other family. We sing Kumbaya, and everyone enjoys a beer.”

  He laughed. “Kumbaya?”

  She shrugged. “I keep thinking of that song for some reason. It’s stuck in my mind. Every time I picture this coming out of ours, I pray everyone will sway in song and rejoice in our union.”

  He laughed harder. “I’m pretty sure that’s going a bit far. That’s way beyond best-case scenario.”

  She giggled, the sound once again going straight to his cock, as it always did. Her lithe body vibrated as she squirmed in his lap, her pussy grinding down on his cock. If she wasn’t completely aware of what she was doing to him, he would be shocked.

  He grabbed her ass to hold her still.

  She sobered instantly, her gaze locking to his for a long time before he smoothed one hand up her back and pressed her forward until their lips touched. “There’s another route we could take,” she murmured against his lips.

  “What’s that?” He watched as a slow teasing smile made her eyes sparkle with mischief.

  “We could bind first and announce after.”

  He returned her smile. “Wouldn’t even have to explain ourselves in that scenario.”

  “Nope. Think of all the words we would save.”

  For a long time, he simply looked at her while they both sobered. If he had his way, the world would freeze, leaving him stuck permanently in this moment, her loving gaze meeting his.

  “We should let your brother come back inside,” she whispered. “It’s damn cold out there, even for bears.”

  He nodded. “Already told him to come back whenever he wants. They’ll leave us alone in here as long as we’d like.”

  “I need to get home.”

  “I know.”

  She blew out a long breath. “When should we plan to do this thing?”

  “Soon. I mean days. Not weeks. I’ll figure something out. Maybe next weekend?”

  She nodded, a smile forming on the edges of her mouth, but her brow was furrowed with worry.

  He couldn’t wait for the day when she looked happy and carefree all the time. That day would come, wouldn’t it? He hoped so. Even in the worst-case scenario, which they hadn’t discussed, he prayed she would be happy. If they found themselves moving out of town and living in a new place with no contact at all with their relatives, could
she sincerely smile one day without the permanent cloud that always lurked in the back of her eyes?

  Please, God.

  »»•««

  When Joselyn got home, her brother Isaiah’s truck was in the driveway.

  For a minute, she sat in the silence of her silver Honda Accord and watched the gentle fall of snowflakes out the window. The world appeared so peaceful and serene when there were giant flakes of snow falling lazily toward the ground.

  Snowflakes didn’t have a care in the world. They weren’t concerned with where they landed or how cold the earth was. They just meandered through the sky until they found a resting place.

  If only her life were that tranquil.

  When she finally trudged her way to the front door and opened it, she was surprised to find the house dark. Not a single light was on. Isaiah’s scent was strong, however.

  At the same second she confirmed his presence as she shut the front door, he spoke, nearly giving her a heart attack. “How long?” he asked, his voice dead.

  Shaking, she stepped farther into the living room, shrugged out of her coat, and draped it over the back of the couch. She cleared her throat, meeting her brother’s gaze where he sat across the room in an armchair. In the dark. The only person in the house. “Pardon?”

  He leaned forward, setting his elbows on his knees casually. “How long have you been in a relationship with Alton Tarben?”

  She flinched. How did he know? She glanced around. “Where’re Mom and Dad?”

  “They had dinner plans. Said they’d be back later. Answer my question.”

  She tried to judge his tone. It didn’t have an accusatory lilt to it, and she wouldn’t expect such a thing from her older brother, but it did hold a quality she couldn’t put her thumb on. Sadness?

  She opted to go for the entire truth. “About fifteen years.” It felt good to spit it out.

  He groaned. And then he surprised her by pushing to his feet and coming across the room. As soon as he rounded the couch, he grabbed her by the forearms and pulled her into his embrace. He held her tight while he spoke to the top of her head. “Sis, God. I’m so sorry. Why?”

  She couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Would it be like this every time she told someone new? This…this stabbing pain that came with admitting the horror that was her life?

  How had this happened twice in one night? She was raw. The world was unraveling at a rapid pace around her. There was no way she could keep this enormous secret much longer. It felt like it was leaking out of her pores.

  For a long time, he held her, rocking her back and forth. She couldn’t remember a time in her life when her brother had hugged her so hard for so long. They were a close family, affectionate. But this was above and beyond. He was six years older than her. She had always been the kid sister.

  Finally, he grabbed her biceps and held her away from him. “Why?” he repeated.

  “You have a better plan?” she asked.

  He licked his lips, his gaze landing over her shoulder on nothing. “I’ve been sitting here for over an hour trying to come up with one.”

  “So you can see my plight.” She shrugged free of him and rounded the couch to sit in the corner, pulling her knees up to her chest in a tight ball.

  He followed, sitting next to her but giving her about a foot of space between them.

  “How did you find out?” How many people know? She left that question unspoken.

  “I drove by Austin’s place earlier without calling first. I was shocked to see your car there, but when I got to the door, before I even knocked, I realized you and Alton were the only two people in the house.”

  She nodded. At least he was the only person who knew. Right? “Did you tell anyone else?” How had she not sensed his presence? She knew the answer immediately. She and Alton had been so preoccupied with each other and not expecting anyone besides his brother and Nuria to return to the house that Joselyn hadn’t kept even one corner of her mind open to the outside world. A dangerous move that could easily get her into trouble one day.

  He shook his head. “No. Not my place.”

  “But you did feel the need to confront me.”

  He smiled, his perfect teeth showing even in the darkness of the room. “I felt it was my place to give you some advice. I just wasn’t going to out you to Mom and Dad. That’s your gig.”

  She sighed. “You think I need advice? You think there’s a single thing you could say that would change anything?”

  He leaned back, setting his head on the cushion and staring at the ceiling. “Remember when I met Heather?”

  She nodded. Words weren’t necessary, and he didn’t need to see her. The question was rhetorical. It had only been a few months. Half the continent knew about it.

  He continued, “I know most of our species believes we aren’t fated to mate a specific person in this life. That we have free will. That we can control our destinies, but I learned something the day I met Heather, and it jolted me to the bone.”

  “What was that?” she whispered.

  “Most people are wrong. Maybe it doesn’t happen to everyone. Maybe it doesn’t even happen often, but it does occur, and it was that way for me. The moment I inhaled her scent, I knew she was mine.”

  “I know.” She did. He’d told them all. This wasn’t new information. But he must have had a point.

  The day he’d met Heather was clear in her mind. She would never forget meeting the frightened, injured human woman who’d been attacked on the hiking trail by one of Alton’s estranged cousins.

  The scratches that ripped her skin open from Jack Tarben’s claws forced her to transition into a species she’d known nothing about. But the important thing was that Isaiah already knew she was meant to be his before she was transformed.

  It was huge. It was unheard of. But it worked out. And now they were together.

  “It took me two days to convince Heather she was mine. Two of the longest days of my life.” He hesitated, and then he turned to face Joselyn. “I can’t imagine waiting even one more minute to bind myself to her. My soul was in turmoil. Breaking. My heart stalled. My world did not spin.”

  She hitched a breath. “Are you questioning my affection for Alton?”

  He didn’t respond.

  She dropped her knees and sat up straighter, leaning toward her brother. “You take those two days of torture and multiply them by about seven years, and then we’ll talk again.”

  He nodded, his face scrunched. “Why only seven years?”

  “It wasn’t nearly as painful to live with until I became an adult and left for U of C.”

  “Wait. Alton went to the University of Calgary too.”

  “You’re sharp.”

  “You spent five years there.”

  “He’s catching on.” She smiled.

  “Shit, Jos. That’s fucked up.”

  “Yes, it is. I’m clear on that. We felt a sense of family obligation. Then we both got caught up in our jobs, and that duty kept getting harder to denounce. But we’re reaching our limit.”

  “And then some. What’s your plan?”

  “Alton wants to make an announcement next weekend. Maybe get both families together or something.”

  “Next weekend? So before the launch?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I’m not sure how wise that is. It would make me feel like I’ve trapped him without full disclosure if we completed the binding before he found out my family had a new product releasing that could be damaging to his family.”

  “You think?”

  She moaned. “It’s not like I can tell him.”

  “Oh, believe me, that part I understand. I can hardly stand to be in the same room with Austin. We’ve been friends for fifteen years. We don’t have many secrets. I feel like a fraud every time I’m with him.”

  “Yeah. Lucky for you, you’re not sleeping with him.” She flinched after those words left her mouth.

  “Okay, TMI.” He chuckled. “Don’t need that sort
of visual of my little sister.” He stood and turned to face her. “I gotta go. Heather’s waiting for me.” He headed for the front door and grabbed his coat from the back of a chair. “I just want you to know I understand. I would never judge you. You have my support. But fix this thing. Sooner rather than later. Before it eats you alive.”

  She nodded into the darkness. “I will.”

  The sound of the door shutting behind him made her flinch. Left in silence, she shoved off the couch and made her way to her end of the house. She didn’t want to face her parents again that night. She just wanted to be alone.

  As soon as she locked the door to her bedroom, she headed to the adjoining bath and flipped on the lights. She needed a long hot soak. For one thing, there was no way she would be able to sleep with the scent of Alton on her skin. For another thing, the warm water might help calm her racing mind.

  Next weekend. Shit. She hadn’t wanted to argue with Alton about the timing. In fact, she couldn’t. What would she have given as an excuse for not wanting to make the announcement at that time?

  It wasn’t as if they had to bind that moment simply because they outed themselves. It was nothing more than a public statement. Telling people they were a couple wouldn’t be a lie. Binding together without discussing her family’s launch the following Monday would be deliberately deceptive. She couldn’t do that.

  As she peeled her sweater over her head and then removed her bra, she glanced at her reflection in the mirror. The faint marks from his fingers lingered on her breasts. His grip had felt firm enough to leave a reminder on her chest for at least a day, but apparently, even in human form, her body was healing rapidly.

  If she shifted into her grizzly form, the bruises would disappear quickly, but she had no intention of doing so tonight. For one, she didn’t have a reason to. She wasn’t in the habit of shifting in the house unless it was necessary. For another thing, she had hoped to see his marks in the morning—a reminder of their time together.

  Already she missed him.

  As she removed her jeans and panties next, she twisted around to see her butt in the mirror. Same thing. Fading indications of where his fingers had gripped her hard enough to make her come.