Shelter (The Wanderers Book 4) Page 2
“I-I-I can’t, Bray…” She shuddered, her voice cracking.
He held her tighter, stroking her cheek with his fingers. “I need you to listen to me, Hales.”
She held her breath, not wanting to listen to him. Not wanting to hear what he would say next. Afraid she might actually vomit at any moment. Another sob escaped, and it wasn’t quiet.
Braylon slid his hand to cover her mouth gently. “Shh. I need you to be strong for me, Hales.”
Her eyes were wide as she nodded. If we get caught… She shuddered again. Who knew what would happen? Braylon’s mom wasn’t a fan of the two of them spending much time together. In the craziest twist, she really didn’t want her son and daughter-in-law to actually fall in love. It was frowned upon.
Haley had no idea what love was, but if she was ever going to love another human being, she thought it could be Braylon. And that alone made her damn lucky.
Marriages among what was basically the aristocracy were meant to be business arrangements. The idea that a man might fall in love with his wife was unheard of, at least publicly. It was a sign of weakness.
From the moment Haley first set eyes on Braylon at the altar six months ago until this day, the two of them had been expected to smile politely to uphold a public image. However, when they were inside the estate, Haley was required to remain out of sight, keeping to her quarters with her embroidery and her knitting—two of the few skills she’d learned in school.
Haley squeezed her eyes closed now as her mind went back to that night after they’d said their vows, the night she’d been expected to give her virginity to her husband and begin servicing him sexually whenever he desired.
Stepping from the attached bathroom into the wedding suite, Haley barely held back tears as she hugged her arms tightly across her chest. She trembled with fear and ignorance, hating the lack of information she had about what to expect.
What she’d been told was that she should obey this man who was now her husband and service him without complaint. Service him how? She was smart enough to know it would have something to do with her body because the only thing she’d been given to wear to bed was this sheer white shift. It was practically see-through, hiding nothing. She was nervous and embarrassed.
Braylon’s back was to her. He stood at the window of the hotel room, his palms on the sill, his shoulders hunched, his head down. He looked defeated. He was wearing soft white pants and nothing else, and he spun around when he heard her.
He didn’t approach. Instead, he leaned his butt against the sill and gripped it at either side. He looked tense and uncertain—not at all what she’d expected.
She stood frozen, waiting for him to make the first move. Panic climbed up her chest, threatening to cause her to faint.
Braylon had been nothing but kind all day from their first tense moments at the altar to the dinner they’d attended and finally the long line of people they greeted—a procession of family friends—his, not hers. She had no friends or family.
At the altar, he’d held her gaze firmly and her hands tighter. He’d smiled warmly at her, somehow managing to express without words that he meant her no harm.
She’d at least known he hadn’t had any more say in their arranged marriage than she’d had. His parents had selected her from the girls’ home many years prior. He hadn’t seen her or known who they’d chosen.
She could blame him for nothing, but that didn’t make her any less frightened about his expectations on their wedding night.
“Haley…” he finally murmured. “Listen, I know you’re scared. You’re shaking so hard I can feel the vibrations from across the room.” He smiled, undoubtedly trying to help her relax, but he was unsuccessful.
She said nothing. What was there to say?
“I’d like to talk. Would that be okay?” he asked, as if she had a choice.
She nodded stiffly. She’d do anything to put off the inevitable.
“It would probably be best if we weren’t standing. Your legs are going to give out.” He pushed off the windowsill and rushed across the room. Before she could begin to figure out his intentions, he’d yanked the white comforter off the bed and came toward her.
He held it up, stepped behind her, and wrapped it around her shoulders. It was one of the kindest gestures anyone had shown toward her in fourteen years.
“Come.” He nodded toward the loveseat in the sitting area. “Sit.” He lowered himself onto one end and waited for her.
She took a deep breath and shuffled forward, dragging the awkward comforter with her, beyond grateful for every square inch of fabric. Sitting was difficult, but she managed, and then she looked at him. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome.” He smiled.
For the first time, she really looked at him. He was handsome. His brown hair was several shades lighter than her black hair. His skin was darker than hers though. Tanned. She was pale white. His bare chest was smooth and defined.
She had very few men to compare him to, however. The majority of the men she’d seen in her life had all been today at the wedding, and obviously, none of them had been bare-chested.
“I’m not a bad guy,” he said.
She swallowed and nodded.
He held her gaze and took a long deep breath before letting it out. “If you’ll work with me and keep our private life secret, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’re happy.”
Happy? What was happy? She had so little experience with that word to even use it for reference. She’d been happy when she was four, five, even six. She remembered her father swinging her high in the air while she squealed in delight. That had been happy. Since then?
Braylon ran a hand over his head. He looked nervous, and that pleased her. At least she wasn’t alone.
She forced herself to speak. “What… What do you mean?” Her voice was weak, soft, timid. She couldn’t help it.
“I mean neither of us asked to be put in this position and I have no intention of raping you tonight. Or any night, to be clear.”
She held his gaze, not looking away, her heart pounding. “I don’t know what rape is.”
He nodded slowly. “Right. Jesus.” He glanced away, his tone making her jump before he jerked his gaze back to her. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Do you know what we’re expected to do tonight?”
She started to nod and then switched the direction of her head movement and shook it instead. “Not really.”
“Did they tell you nothing?”
She flinched and scooted back a bit, holding the comforter tighter around her shivering frame. Even bundled up in the thick blanket, she was still chilled to the bone. Not from temperature but from fear.
He closed his eyes for a moment, his face tense. “What a fucked-up world we live in,” he muttered.
She wasn’t familiar with half the words he used, but she wholeheartedly agreed, and she was beginning to believe he was on her side. Was that possible?
He took another breath and met her gaze again. “Okay…” He licked his lips. “Here’s the thing. We’re not going to do what we’re meant to do tonight. Okay?” He leaned closer. “But we have to pretend we did.”
She blinked at him, trying to understand. Did it matter? All that mattered was that he was being kind and whatever horrors she’d expected weren’t on tonight’s agenda. Not for Braylon.
“Can you do that, Haley? Can you pretend we have a normal marriage—whatever the hell normal looks like? If you can do that, it will buy us some time.”
She had no clue what they were going to fake, but she was certainly willing to do it. It sounded like heaven. “Time?”
He sighed. “Yeah, I don’t know how much time, but I’ll do my best to protect you. You have my word.”
Haley flinched in Braylon’s arms as she pulled herself back to reality. Braylon had remained true to his promise. He’d protected her as best he could for six months. But they’d finally run out of time.
 
; “What if your mother catches you in here with me?” she whispered.
“Storm is standing outside your door, baby, just like every night. He won’t let anyone in.”
Anyone was supposed to include Braylon. Lorena Hanson did not like the fact that her son was so kind to Haley. She hated that he stuck up for her and made excuses for her. She thought her son was soft. It embarrassed her that he cared for Haley at all or even gave her a second thought.
That wasn’t how marriages among the wealthy were meant to be. The partners were supposed to live separate and aloof, barely knowing each other, not forming an alliance or falling in love.
When they were at the dinner table or in the family room, Braylon did his best to ignore Haley entirely, saving his smiles and kind gestures for when they were alone. The problem was he didn’t like his mother interfering in his marriage, and he made that clear a bit too often, interjecting when his mother reprimanded Haley.
In Lorena’s mind, that was a sign of weakness, and caused her to scold Haley with more frequency instead of less, her gaze resting on her son when she did so, testing him to make sure he didn’t interfere.
Haley had aged a decade in the last six months. She understood the world around her much better thanks to Braylon. He had help too. His best friend, Riggs, was often nearby, and the man was equally invested in protecting Haley. She also had Storm, her bodyguard. He looked gruff and he certainly was large, but when no one else was looking, he gave her a soft teddy-bear look that said more than words.
She was blessed. Or so she’d thought. Until tonight. Until she’d sat down at dinner and learned a man had been purchased to impregnate her. This conversation had happened flippantly around her at the table as if she weren’t there. Riggs had been there. His father had too. The three older adults had discussed her impregnation as if they were talking about tomorrow’s weather forecast.
Haley hadn’t been able to eat a single bite of her meal. She’d struggled to keep from vomiting on the table. She’d known this day would come in some form, but she hadn’t expected it to be so soon or so…barbaric.
“Listen to me, baby. This is important.”
She gripped Bray’s forearms so tightly, her nails were digging into his skin.
“We need people to believe we’ve been having sex.”
She held her breath. How was that going to be possible?
“I’m concerned someone is going to figure out otherwise if we don’t do something to fix the problem.”
Panic consumed her. She hadn’t considered this problem. Her heart beat so fast her ears were pounding. “How?”
“I have an idea.”
She stiffened as her mind wandered to his possible plan. She couldn’t even let herself go there. She twisted in his arms. “Do it.”
“Do what?” he asked. His brows furrowed before his eyes went wide. “I didn’t mean me. I was thinking you could do it.”
She blinked at him, hating how ignorant she was. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I want you to make love to me. If someone is going to violate me in the next few days, I don’t want them to be the first person to touch me. It should be you. Please, Braylon, just do it.”
He blinked, his eyes wide. “No, baby. I’m not having sex with you under duress. I won’t do that to you or to us.”
She jerked to sitting, grabbed his biceps, and looked down at him, not caring that he could easily see the outline of her breasts through the thin material of her nightgown.
All the nightgowns she owned were like this one, and she was expected to wear them every night just in case her husband wanted to come to her for sexual relations.
As far as the rest of the household knew, he did so about every other night. He made a production of coming to her room, locking the door, and staying about twenty minutes.
Haley loved those twenty minutes every other night. They were the most precious part of her stupid existence. Because she got to spend them alone with Braylon, talking softly, smiling, even laughing. But he never laid a hand on her. Not sexually.
They’d grown closer over the months. He climbed into her bed nowadays and held her or stroked her arm while they talked, but he hadn’t touched her intimately a single time.
Time. That damn word again. A clock was ticking.
“What if your mother expects the man in the basement to have sex with me?” she hissed. “I’ll die.”
At least now she was more educated than she’d been on her wedding night. Braylon had taken the time to explain what had been expected of her and what they were supposedly doing when he visited her room. He never flinched when she asked him questions, and he always told her what she wanted to know.
She could never thank him enough for his patience. He was surely the kindest soul on the planet. Even though she had almost no one to compare him to, she thought she was in love with him.
Braylon shook his head. “That’s not going to happen. She wouldn’t risk you enjoying that man more than me.”
Haley’s face heated. “Then what is going to happen?”
“Most likely, they will force him to ejaculate into a cup and someone will put his sperm inside you.” Braylon’s face grew tight and he shut his eyes as he finished.
Haley sat up even straighter, shaking. “How?” Renewed panic set in.
“Probably a doctor will come, pull the semen into a syringe and…” He paused, taking a deep breath. His hand came to Haley’s shoulder, squeezing, “…push the man’s semen into you.”
Haley shuddered. This wasn’t really a shock, but hearing it out loud still made her want to fall into a hole in the floor and disappear. She covered her face with her hands, trembling.
“You know if I could take you away from here and never come back, I would, right, baby?”
She nodded without looking.
“And I will. I promise I will. But I don’t have the resources to do anything like that yet. All we can do is endure this and hope you don’t get pregnant.”
She dropped her hands. “If we’d just had sex from the beginning, maybe I’d be pregnant now and your mother wouldn’t have paid for some other man to do it.” It was a struggle to keep her voice low.
Braylon held her gaze. “I wasn’t willing to do that to you, Hales. You weren’t ready. And I won’t do it now because I care about you so much my chest hurts. It would have been rape then and it still would be today. I’m not having sex with you under my mother’s direction. Ever. If and when we have sex, it will be on our terms. It will be because we love each other. It will be special.”
Haley’s lip trembled. She feared she would end up pregnant and have a baby before she ever had sex. The idea was seeming rather likely now.
And her panic was growing by the minute.
CHAPTER 3
Braylon had never felt more helpless in his twenty-four years. This situation was the most fucked-up of everything he’d lived through. His wife, the woman he was in love with, was going to be impregnated with another man’s damn sperm.
Madness.
If Braylon had had a single clue his mother would decide to seek outside help after only six months of presumably “trying” to get pregnant, he might have altered his timeline. But the woman had sprung this on him this morning. She hadn’t consulted him. She’d arranged for a man to be purchased and brought here to their home without mentioning a single word until after the deed was done.
Braylon suspected his mother was doing this out of spite. She hated that Braylon had a soft spot for Haley. It drove her nuts. No matter how hard Braylon tried to hide his feelings and play the game his parents expected of him, he couldn’t keep up the appearance of not caring.
It just wasn’t possible. If he could keep Haley in her room and never let her out, maybe no one would find out he enjoyed her company. But she was expected to sit at the table for meals and spend time every afternoon in the sitting room and every evening in the den.
Braylon tried to be present as often as possible, but it
annoyed his mother that he protected her. That he cared about her. That wasn’t how his marriage was supposed to be. After all, it certainly wasn’t the type of marriage his parents had. They barely spoke to each other. He was pretty certain his father hadn’t visited his mother’s room in two decades.
“What’s your plan?” Haley asked as calmly as she could manage.
God, he loved her. He hadn’t said so yet, mostly because he didn’t want her to panic if she didn’t feel the same way about him. But he thought those words often.
Haley was strong and fucking smart. From the first day of their marriage, she’d played the game like a pro. She’d never once faltered or made a mistake or given up the ruse.
Now, that might bite them in the ass.
He drew in a deep breath and stroked his hand up her arm, threading their fingers together before bringing her knuckles to his lips and kissing them. He never took this kind of liberty with her. Until tonight, he’d never held her so closely either.
They touched. They stroked each other’s forearms. They held hands. They hadn’t kissed yet though. Nor had they so blatantly hugged, especially wearing so few clothes.
Being this close to her was becoming a challenge. He wanted her. But he still wouldn’t take her under these circumstances. Not a chance. Shit. She was young. Only twenty. That was the age she’d been forced to marry him.
She’d been so naïve that night. She’d learned a lot since then, but it wasn’t enough.
“So, here’s the thing. Have you, uh, touched yourself when you’re alone like I suggested?” He hated having these awkward conversations with her, mostly because her flushed cheeks and wide eyes made his cock harder than usual.
Naturally, she flushed now and shook her head.