Building Trust Page 2

  Stella is fucking hot no matter what she wears. Even hotter naked, which I intend to remind myself of later tonight. She has sleek, straight black hair that hangs halfway down her back, dark eyes, and gorgeous olive skin. She’s five-eight, and even though she’s slender, she has amazing tits.

  I’m six-two, so she still doesn’t come eye to eye with me even in four-inch heels. I love how we look next to each other. I too have dark hair, but it’s wavy. My eyes are blue, and my skin is several shades lighter than hers.

  I lean closer to Stella and reach for her hand. So far the only thing on the table is the bottle of wine we’re sharing and two glasses, which the waiter filled before leaving to place our orders.

  “You okay?”

  She pastes on a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Yes. I’m fine.” If I’m not mistaken, she shakes off whatever is bothering her. “How did your case go in court today?”

  “I won.”

  She chuckles. “Of course you did. Do you ever lose?”

  I laugh in return. “Sometimes. Not often. I’m not fond of losing.”

  “Is anyone?”

  I shrug. “I’d say we both know quite a few people who enjoy losing, actually.” I wink at her. “Half your friends like what happens to their behinds when they lose.”

  She giggles, which is a glorious sound and much better than the dry chuckle. “True.” She clears her throat. “I spoke to one of them today.”

  “Oh? Who was that?”

  “Amy.”

  “Ah. How’s she doing? Still loving life at Blossom Ridge?”

  “Yep. She’s living full-time as Foster’s submissive.” Stella fidgets slightly as she tells me this.

  “His Little,” I point out as I stroke Stella’s fingers. She gets very nervous about this subject for reasons I can’t fathom. The woman insists she’s not Little and has no interest in discussing the subject. That would be fine if it weren’t for the fact that most of her friends are Little and she has a lot of Little tendencies she’s unaware of.

  “Yes.” She takes a breath and sits up taller, giving me the forced smile again.

  “Did she say something that upset you?”

  Stella rolls her eyes. “Tuck your lawyer side away. You don’t need to read me.” Her voice is light. She’s not mad.

  She’s right though. I have a tendency to read people. I’m good at it. That’s why I win a lot of cases. “Sorry. It’s just that you’re a bit distant, and so far the only thing you’ve told me about your day is that you spoke to Amy. So, that’s all I have to go on.”

  Stella winces. “I don’t mean to be distant.”

  I squeeze her hand. “Just an observation.” I tip my head to one side. “Maybe we need a trip to Surrender. We didn’t go this past weekend.”

  She shrugs. “Or… you could dominate me at your house or mine without going to the club.”

  I draw in a breath. “Hmmm. Is that something you want?” She’s always been very particular about confining her submission to the club. I’m surprised she’s considering something outside of that designated location and timeframe. It’s not like her.

  Not that I mind. I’d be perfectly happy dominating her in my home or hers. Hell, the truth is I already do. Every time we’re together. She simply hasn’t acknowledged that fact.

  Granted, it’s not as if I flog her. That would be obvious. But I certainly dominate her in a way that would make her wince if she realized it. When she realizes it, because the clock is ticking. I can’t continue to Daddy her without pointing it out much longer. It’s not fair.

  She shrugs again. “I don’t know.”

  This is kind of a big deal. I need to be careful about how I approach it. Stella prefers to keep her submission completely separate from the rest of her life. “You like to be watched,” I point out.

  She tips her head back and forth. “True… I’m not sure if that’s the most important part though.”

  I know what the most important part is. Stella likes pain. It helps her purge after a hard week. And she’s right. We didn’t take care of that this past weekend. We were both too busy. We didn’t see each other.

  Even though we haven’t specifically discussed it, neither of us has gone to Surrender without the other since we started dating. We probably need to have a serious discussion soon.

  No. We’re definitely due for a deep discussion. I’ve known it for a while. I’m sure she does too. We’ve been having so much fun together that we haven’t stopped to overanalyze. I shouldn’t have let it go this long. As the Dominant, I should have pushed the issue.

  We need to sit down and rehash our needs and wants. Reevaluate. Take the pulse of our arrangement. It’s what Doms and submissives do from time to time.

  Except, my relationship with Stella is not well-defined and certainly out of the ordinary. We’ve kept our kink side in the club and mostly been vanilla outside of the club—as far as Stella is concerned.

  This is why it’s huge for her to suggest we “play” at home. Especially the kind of play Stella prefers. She likes to be restrained, blindfolded, gagged, and flogged. She enjoys a cane, a paddle, and just about any other type of impact play.

  I don’t draw blood. I know her skin well. I take her to the edge and taper off before reaching that stage. It’s not sexual for Stella. It’s purely for release. Like her own form of therapy. Who needs a counselor when they have a strong Dominant who will flog them until they cry?

  “We should negotiate this, Stella,” I point out.

  She sighs. “I know.” She scrunches up her face and meets my gaze. “I don’t mean to change the rules on you. What we have is great.”

  I frown. “There’s nothing wrong with renegotiating.”

  “I guess, but we’re on an amazing boat in calm waters.”

  I lift her fingers to my lips and kiss them. “That doesn’t mean we don’t need some adventure. Calm water can get boring after a while. Maybe we need to make some waves.”

  The idea makes me nervous, but I’ve known for a while that we need to talk. Looks like that time has come. I don’t know what Amy said to get Stella’s mind running, but I’m not entirely sorry. If it was Amy, then it had to involve some discussion about age play.

  It’s no secret that I’m a Daddy Dom. Stella knows it. Everyone knows it. When I first asked her out, she looked me in the eye and told me she wouldn’t be submitting to me that way. She insisted she’s not Little.

  I’m attracted to Stella for so many reasons. She’s fucking hot for one thing, but that’s not all that matters. She’s a successful businesswoman. She’s strong and hardworking. Watching her at work makes my cock hard. I love that side of her.

  I don’t go into her café too often because she says it’s distracting, but sometimes I pop in because I haven’t seen her for several days in a row. She’s like a work of art when she’s in her element. Her café runs like a tight ship.

  The woman can juggle ten things at once. She can take people’s orders while she rings up someone else and never forgets a thing. She knows what’s happening in every corner of her café at all times. It’s amazing.

  I may be a lawyer, but I swear that woman is sharper than me.

  Stella nods. “We have a rather odd arrangement.”

  “We do,” I agree. “But that’s no one else’s business but our own.” I narrow my gaze. “Does Amy know about me yet?”

  Stella winces and lowers her gaze. “No.”

  The server arrives with our meals at this precise moment, and I’m forced to release Stella’s hand so he can set our hot plates in front of us. I hate the separation, especially as this sensitive topic has come up, but it can’t be helped.

  After the waiter leaves us, I clear my throat. “Look at me, Stella.”

  She lifts her gaze.

  “I fail to understand why you haven’t told your closest friend we’re dating.”

  She opens her mouth, but I hold up a hand to stop her. “I know. You’ve told me your reasons several times, but they feel kind of lame to me, especially after all this time. We’ve been dating for three months. We enjoy each other’s company. We go to the club most weekends. I’m rather surprised someone else hasn’t told Amy. She’ll be really pissed if she has to hear it from someone else.”

  “No one would break my confidence. Besides, just because we scene together at Surrender doesn’t mean anything. No one knows we see each other outside of the club,” she points out.

  This fact has started to rub me wrong. At first, I figured, fuck it. Why would I care? I’m having the time of my life with Stella. We click like no one I’ve ever been with in bed. The sex is phenomenal. She’s fun and cute and sexy and smart.

  I’m also fully aware Stella thinks we can’t work out in the long run, and maybe she’s right. After all, I’m not being outwardly true to myself. I’ve had to set my Daddy on the back burner to be with this woman.

  Granted, that’s not entirely true. I Daddy her every time we’re together. She just doesn’t know it. Or she chooses to ignore it. She’s dug her heels in, insisting it’s not her thing.

  I still get what I need out of the relationship because even though the vocabulary isn’t part of our dynamic, I still dominate her in a way that pleases me. It’s enough. For now.

  It’s not like I’m dating a vanilla woman who has no idea I have a kinky side. Stella is fully aware I’m a Daddy Dom. But she doesn’t think it’s her kink, and I don’t mind dominating her in the way she prefers, so we have this odd arrangement. It works.

  Or it has worked. So far.

  “How long do you intend to keep me as a dirty little secret?” I tease. Or at least I try to sound like I’m joking. I’m half-serious.

  She flinches and jerks her gaze to mine. “You’re no
t a dirty little secret.”

  “Aren’t I?” I lift a brow, challenging her. Our food is getting cold.

  She swallows. “That’s not how I want you to feel,” she murmurs.

  “I know it’s not intentional, Stella. I don’t mean to make you feel bad, but we definitely need to renegotiate.”

  “That scares me,” she whispers, glancing down again.

  It scares me too.

  “I almost told Amy today. I mean, I sort of did. I told her I was dating someone and that he was in the kink community and a member of Surrender. I even told her you were a Daddy Dom. I just didn’t give her your name.”

  I lift both brows. “Somehow I feel even dirtier.” I’m not kidding now, and I’ve reflected that in my voice.

  Stella tucks her hair behind her ear. Her hands are shaking. “Shit,” she mutters. She meets my gaze. “I just don’t want Amy to lecture me. She doesn’t understand why I choose my type of kink, just like I don’t understand hers.”

  “She’s your best friend. Don’t you think you should give her more credit than that?”

  “Maybe.” Stella chews on her lip. She’s extremely unnerved, which is rare for her. I don’t get to see this side of her very often. She’s always composed, even when she submits.

  “What are you afraid of?” I challenge. Neither of us has touched our meal.

  She draws in a breath. “I don’t know.”

  “Are you sure? Or is that just a copout?”

  “I don’t know that either.”

  “If you can’t trust your best friend with your most intimate thoughts, who are you going to trust? It must be getting kind of lonely,” I point out. I’m pushing her. I know it. It’s time. The boat is rocking. Tonight.

  I lift my gaze, find the waiter, and wave him over. “Can we get two to-go boxes? Something’s come up.”

  “Of course, sir. I’ll be right back with your check and some containers.”

  “Thank you.”

  Stella is barely holding it together. I’ve never seen her this emotional. I’m not sorry. It’s about time she cracked a little. She’s like a fortress. Her walls are so high when it comes to this topic, it’s a wonder I’ve been permitted to speak to her over the top.

  I reach across the table and cup her chin. “We’ll be out of here in five minutes, sweetie. Hang tight, okay?”

  She nods. Tears are glistening in her eyes.

  My heart is racing as I pay the bill while the waiter boxes up our food and puts it in a fancy paper bag with a handle. It’s easy to grab with one hand as I reach for Stella with the other. “Come.”

  I usher Stella to the front and claim her coat from the coat check. Moments later, we’re in the parking lot where I help her into my car with a hand on her arm. It’s a Toyota Supra, so it’s low to the ground. As soon as I have Stella settled, I shut the door, jog around to my side, and set our food behind my seat before climbing in.

  Stella is rubbing her temples. The rest of her is very stiff. “I’m so sorry,” she mutters.

  “No need to be sorry, sweetie. You’re entitled to have emotions. I’m glad you’re showing them to me, to be honest.” I start the engine to warm up the car.

  She sighs and leans back against the seat. “I ruined our evening.”

  “You haven’t ruined anything. My place or yours?” I don’t want to have a deep conversation in the cold car.

  “I don’t care,” she whispers.

  Mine then. At least I’ll have the home-field advantage. If things go south, she won’t be able to run out the door. Well, she could call an Uber, but it won’t be as easy as kicking me out of her house. I want to have some time with her to hash this out and make my case.

  The truth is I really like Stella. A lot. Enough that I’ve hidden my Daddy card for several months. The world is still spinning too. I even give her what she needs—a bit of sadism. Lightning hasn’t struck on that front either.

  I’ve also known all along that we’ve been teetering on the edge of god-only-knows what. I need the next ten minutes of driving to get my head straight so I don’t say something that puts an end to us. I don’t want this to be over. I want it to work.

  I feel even more determined now than ever before. The fact that this boat is rocking has made me nervous enough to realize I’m willing to fight for us. Is Stella?

  I hate that she’s kept me a secret from all her friends—Amy and Lucy and Leah and especially Brea.

  Okay, in Brea’s case, it’s different. Brea worked for Stella for a month before she moved to Blossom Ridge. The two of them aren’t so close that Stella would regularly confide in Brea. The problem with Brea is that she’s with my best friend, Niko.

  Niko and I have been friends for years. We live four doors down from each other. We met when the two of us were out jogging in the neighborhood every morning before the crack of dawn. We started chatting a bit more every day until we finally realized we lived near each other and eventually went out for a beer.

  Never mind that Stella hasn’t told her friends about me. I’m lying to my best friend too, and Brea, his Little. For Stella. And I don’t even know why.

  I pull into my driveway and drive around to the side of the house, shutting off the engine without putting the car in the garage. I don’t care much about the damn car right now. I’m focused on the conversation I’m about to have with Stella.

  By the time I’m out of the car and around to her side, she has her seatbelt off and the door open. I reach out and take her hand in mine to help her out, and then guide her to the side entrance that leads into the kitchen.

  After flipping the lights on, I set our food on the island, hoping we’ll get back to it eventually. If not, I’ll put it in the fridge later. My preference would be to work out our awkwardness and end up laughing over lasagna and chicken parmesan.

  Stella sets her purse on the island next to the food and wanders into my living room. When she reaches the sectional, she takes off her coat, drapes it over the arm of the sofa, and reaches down to ease her heels off before setting them neatly next to the coffee table.

  I can’t help but smile. She may be ruffled inside, but outside, she’s still a bit anal. As she lowers herself into the corner of the sectional, she tucks her feet under her and rubs her temples again.

  I join her, removing my jacket as I approach and settling it over the end of the armchair before I sit close to her on the sectional but not touching. I angle my body toward her though and settle my elbow on the back of the couch. “Talk to me, Stella,” I encourage.

  She draws in a breath. “I don’t know what to say. I didn’t see this weird conversation coming.” She groans. “Or maybe I did. I’ve been uneasy all day after talking to Amy. It made me realize I’m not being fair to her or to you. All the stupid secrets. Why?”

  I need to touch her, so I ease my fingers down to stroke a lock of her hair where it hangs over her shoulder. “I was hoping you could tell me. At first, you said you didn’t want to tell your friends because you weren’t ready to answer a bunch of unnecessary questions. That was a long time ago. I’m going to go out on a very short, sturdy limb here and assume it’s because all of your friends know I’m a Daddy and you don’t want them to think you’re Little.”

  She winces. “That about sums it up.” She lifts her gaze finally. “I don’t want to get into why I would be dating a Daddy when I’m not Little. I don’t want to deal with explaining that no, I’m still not Little. I can hear them in my head. Aren’t I Little though? Perhaps deep inside? Maybe I just haven’t admitted it to myself yet? Why don’t I try it? After all, it’s great. They love it. Blah blah blah.”

  Stella sighs loudly. “It’s just not my thing. Why do I have to defend myself all the time to my friends? Why shouldn’t they explain to me why they don’t like impact play as much as I do?”

  I swallow. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas, but I don’t want her to panic, so I need to tread carefully. “Have you ever explained why you enjoy intense impact play to Amy?”

  “Yes. Lots of times.”

  “And? What does she say?”

  Stella shrugs. “She says she gets it, but it’s not for her.”

  I lift a brow. “Do you spend hours trying to get Amy to try your type of kink?”

  “No. Of course not.”

  “Why not?” I challenge.

  “Because she hates that kind of pain. It’s not her thing. She likes to be cuddled and pampered. That doesn’t mean I like those kinds of things.”