Catching Ava (Spring Training Book 3) Page 5

  Ava had no idea how to process this information, but she did know she needed to get out of Jupiter. She needed to get her shit together and drive home with her head on straight, and then she could fall apart again and try to make sense of things.

  After ripping the check into tiny pieces and dropping them in the trash, she raced through the house, gathered her belongings, and then opened the front door.

  No one appeared to be paying any attention to her, so she ran for her car, slid into the driver’s seat, and took off.

  * * *

  Xavier glanced at the seats behind the dugout for the thousandth time. No Ava.

  He felt like shit. Maybe he shouldn’t have left the condo without waking her. But she’d been sound asleep. And he hadn’t really had the balls yet to face her after last night.

  Had he made a mistake? He told himself repeatedly he had not. But perhaps that was for self-preservation. He could have handled things better. From the moment he realized he shouldn’t have sex with her, he should’ve explained himself with more than a few sentences. Or held her through the night. Something.

  But the truth was, he had been so horny he knew he couldn’t keep his hands off her. The only way to ensure her virginity remained intact was to usher her from the room and eliminate the temptation.

  Probably not how she saw things.

  Then again, maybe she left because she had things to do in Miami. He knew she didn’t need to go to work, but she was job hunting and doing freelance jobs from home. Maybe her day had a full docket.

  He forced himself to get his mind on the game and played four innings before the coach replaced him with a rookie.

  When he got to the clubhouse and checked his phone, he had no new messages or texts.

  Damn.

  What if she was mad?

  He showered, dressed, and left the club without exchanging much in the way of pleasantries with the other guys. Dominic had wandered in at some point after him, but the man was currently in the middle of who-knew-what sort of disagreement with Ava’s sister. Xavier didn’t want to get involved in that.

  When he got home, he found no evidence of Ava, with the exception of her scent lingering in the guest room. He sat on the side of the bed and shot her a text.

  Did you make it home okay?

  Nothing came in response.

  He shouldn’t be concerned. Not about her safety. It was entirely possible she wasn’t happy with him. But he hated it.

  He busied himself watching some television, staring at the screen, seeing nothing while he flipped through the channels.

  An hour later, he still had no response from her.

  Hon, please just tell me you’re okay.

  I’m fine. Just busy. Have a lot going on.

  If that wasn’t the ultimate blow off…

  Great.

  He leaned back against the couch, stared at the ceiling, and inwardly freaked out. Had he totally ruined things with her?

  At ten o’clock he sent her another text.

  Don’t want to pressure you. Call me when you’re free.

  Nothing in response.

  Deflated beyond belief, he slid into bed and spent some more time staring at the ceiling. Fuck.

  Chapter Six

  Friday was a crap day for Xavier. As usual. Day four without a word from Ava. As soon as he finished playing, he decided to head to Miami.

  He needed to see her. He’d been stiff and frustrated since she left. He’d had no contact with her, either. If nothing else, he wanted to explain himself better. Make things right. If she still shut him out, there was nothing he could do about it. But walking away at this stage of the game without a fight was out of the question.

  After pleading his case to Zia and Brett, he had an address. He pulled up at Ava’s apartment at six o’clock, praying she was home. He didn’t have a Plan B. This was it.

  His palms were sweating and his nerves were frayed as he exited the elevator on the fourth floor and turned toward the right. He stared at her door for several moments, gathering courage before knocking.

  Then he held his breath.

  For a minute, there was no sound at all.

  Shit.

  Just as he was about to knock again, the door opened. Ava stood there with her hair in a messy bun, wearing jean shorts and a white tank top. She looked much younger than she was. She had on no makeup or jewelry. He wanted to haul her into his embrace and kiss the life out of her.

  Damn, she was cute. Perhaps better this way than all fixed up and dressed.

  “Hey,” she said, but she didn’t step back or open the door wider.

  “Can I come in?”

  She hesitated and then inched back. “Sure. But I don’t have much time. I’m meeting friends for dinner.”

  He didn’t believe her, but he wasn’t about to call her on it. Not yet anyway.

  He shut the door behind him and took in her space. It was immaculate. Every item was in its place. Reminded him of a display home.

  The sofa was a pale green, adding color to the otherwise beige room. Not something he would ordinarily pick out, but it totally worked for her.

  Her kitchen was attached, the table centered on a rug that had the same shade of green in it. The wood was light, and the chairs were all pushed in. There was even a vase of fake flowers on top. Placemats sat in front of each chair, a swirl of pastel greens, blues, and pinks.

  If he didn’t know better, he would mistake this for a display apartment.

  “You want to sit?” she asked.

  Headway. It was better than nothing.

  He rounded to her sofa and took a seat at one end, hoping she would join him. But no such luck. Instead, she sat in the matching armchair at an angle from the sofa and curled her legs under her. “How was your game?”

  “Good.” He didn’t give two shits about the game. He was lucky he had made the necessary catches and throws and hadn’t struck out at the plate. He hadn’t made it on base in two days either, but hitting the ball and having it fielded was usually better than swinging and missing.

  How had the two of them dissolved into this state of awkwardness?

  “You’re mad at me.”

  “No.” She spoke the word with too much emphasis, sitting up straighter. “Not at all.” Also a lie. She played with the hem of her shorts while she shook her head. “I’ve just been busy.”

  He narrowed his gaze. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

  “You didn’t. I’m fine,” she lied again. She looked anything but fine. Nervous. Stressed. Tired. Had she been sleeping?

  He leaned his elbows on his knees. “Talk to me, Ava.”

  “I am talking to you,” she sassed.

  It made him smile for some reason. “You’re so closed off from me there’s an invisible wall between us I wouldn’t be able to beat down with a bat.”

  “Did you bring a bat?” Half her mouth lifted.

  Headway. Again.

  “No. But maybe I should have.”

  “Not if you intended to swing it at me.”

  “I did break a few this week.” It seemed like small talk was a good way to chip away at the barrier.

  She lifted both eyebrows. “You broke a few bats?” She looked horrified. “Doing what?” Her body stiffened.

  He chuckled. “Playing ball, hon. It happens all the time.”

  “You break your bats? Hitting the ball?”

  “Yes. You’ve watched almost no baseball in your life. I didn’t realize that.”

  She winced. “Guilty. I mean, I understand the game. I basically know the rules. But that’s about it.”

  “Maybe you need to come to a few more games to familiarize yourself. Otherwise you’ll have a hard time competing with all the groupies surrounding the clubhouse wanting me to sign their breasts.”

  Her eyes grew wider. Then she schooled her face. “I don’t want to compete with any groupies. That’s way out of my comfort zone. In fact, this entire relationship is out of my comfor
t zone.” She pulled her knees in tighter.

  Oh yeah. He’d said entirely the wrong thing. “I was kidding, Ava. Trying to make a joke. Lighten the mood.”

  She shook her head. “It’s okay. I know that. But you’re still out of my league.”

  “How am I out of your league? Because I play ball? That’s crazy.” This wasn’t going in the right direction. He wanted to lurch forward, haul her out of the armchair, and curl her into his lap. He wanted to touch her and smell her and kiss her. This dance was frustrating.

  “I’m an ordinary person, Xavier. Barely out of college. Still trying to find my way in life. I have job interviews and edits to do and deadlines to make. You’re a star, surrounded by lights and cameras, and famous people, and groupies, and fancy cars, and fancier homes, and restaurants I could never afford. I don’t fit in.”

  His heart seemed to stop. This momentum was going in the wrong direction. Besides, she had just voiced every one of his fears. It was entirely possible his world was more than she could handle. And she needed to be permitted the time to figure that out. Which was precisely why he hadn’t slept with her.

  But there was no umph behind her words. Those issues had surfaced in her mind over the last few days, but at the moment, they were spouted simply to cover her anger. She didn’t yet know if she could handle his world. What she knew was he’d hurt her feelings and left her embarrassed and confused.

  Before he could counter, she continued. “This isn’t going to work out. Your season is about to start. You won’t even be in town much in a few weeks. It was fun going out with you the other night, but it’s unrealistic to think it can be anything more.”

  “I’m not buying that, Ava.”

  “Well, I wasn’t selling it. It was a free handout.”

  He watched her face closely, trying to read her.

  She held his gaze for a moment but then looked away. If he wasn’t mistaken, there were tears forming in the corners of her eyes. He’d never been so happy to see a woman about to cry. It meant she didn’t believe a word she said.

  Taking advantage of her vulnerability was a shit thing to do, but he took it anyway. He pulled himself off the couch, crossed over to her, and squatted in front of her. He set his hands on her bare thighs and smoothed them up to her fingers. When he grasped them in his, she let him.

  She turned her face away, however, her lips pursed.

  Oh yeah. She was close to tears.

  “I think you’re making all that up to save face because you’re embarrassed or mad at me for not sleeping with you the other night.”

  Her cheeks pinkened. Bingo.

  “I’m sorry for how I handled things. I did a shit job. I backed off because I know in my heart you matter to me. I never want to do anything to jeopardize what could be between us. Please forgive me. I want another chance.”

  A tear escaped, and she sucked in a sharp breath and rolled her eyes, still facing away from him.

  “Look at me, hon.” He leaned in closer. “Please.” He tugged her hands toward him and lowered his voice. “Look at me, Ava.”

  She turned her face slowly toward him. “I can’t do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “Us.”

  “Why the hell not?”

  “I just told you. I’m too young. You’re too busy. I have—”

  He cut her off. “That’s all bullshit and you know it. I bruised your ego. I botched things up by not explaining myself better. I’m trying to apologize.”

  She lowered her gaze toward her lap.

  He slowly pulled her closer until he could set his lips on her forehead.

  She let him. It was a start.

  “I’m stubborn. I’m not going to let you go without a fight. We have something special between us. Don’t throw it away because I wouldn’t sleep with you on the second date.”

  The question was would he sleep with her now? He hadn’t come to Miami with that thought in mind, but she was determined. Was he willing to totally break things off with her because she wanted to have sex with him and he was trying to be respectful? That was crazy. If she was so determined, how long would it be before she found someone else to put her out of her misery? The thought of another man touching her made him shudder. Dammit.

  Truth—if she pushed him tonight, he wouldn’t turn her down. He was human, after all. A red-blooded man. Reaching the breaking point.

  “It was kind of humiliating, Xavier.” She lifted her face. Her bottom lip trembled. “I’m not a baby. I’m twenty-two years old. I don’t need you treating me like I don’t know my mind and can’t make my own decisions.”

  He released one hand to wipe a tear from her cheek. “I didn’t mean to be condescending. I just didn’t want to take that gift from you so flippantly. And I was so damn aroused I didn’t think I could stop myself if we went any further. You weren’t making a fully informed decision.”

  She said nothing.

  “Please. Give me another chance. Let me take you out. Dinner. Movies. Whatever you want.” Maybe he could distract her from her goal with a regular date.

  “I don’t think it will work. It’s backpedaling. It’s like two people having sex and then deciding to be friends. It never works out.”

  “Except we didn’t have sex.”

  “But I wanted to. And I still want to. All this talk about informed decisions sounds like a copout. I don’t even know why you’re here. Why are you here? Why come all this way to try to convince me to go out with you if you aren’t even interested enough to have sex with me? It makes no sense.”

  He inhaled sharply. “I don’t want you to do something you’ll later regret.”

  “And why the hell would I regret sleeping with you? Is this about BDSM? Are you worried I won’t be able to submit to you?” She narrowed her gaze, challenging him.

  “God no. I’m not worried about you submitting to me. I told you that side of things would land wherever it fell. Don’t worry about D/s. This is about you having no idea what it’s like to get involved with someone who is followed by paparazzi sometimes. Someone who lives in a world where money is tossed around like it has no meaning.

  “Until you’ve spent some time in that world, you can’t possibly know if it will eat you alive and spit you out.” He leaned closer, lowering his voice. “I don’t want you to regret giving me such a precious gift only to realize in a few weeks that you don’t want any part of dating a major league baseball player.”

  Her mouth fell open, and she blinked. “You seriously had that many things going through your head while I was lying on your bed so aroused I could think of nothing but having sex with the only man I’ve ever met in my life who tempted me to finally let go of my virginity?”

  He flinched at her words.

  She sat up straighter, her spine rigid. “I’m not a prude. I’m not going to fall apart in two weeks because I had sex with you and then we broke up. I didn’t intentionally avoid having sex to save myself for marriage or something, Xavier. I simply never met someone who lit a fire under me hot enough to bother.

  “It’s like an elephant in the room. This need. You suck the oxygen out of the entire apartment. The moment I opened the door, you were inside me. My skin crawls when I’m near you. I want you to make love to me so badly it hurts.

  “So, no. I can’t step back and have a nice dinner with you and go to the movies and pretend we’re just dating. I’m gonna have to turn that down.”

  Holy fuck. Was he hearing her correctly?

  He gulped, his mouth dry. “Are you saying the only offer you’re willing to accept from me is sex? You want me to fuck you. You won’t go out with me. You just want to use my body for sex?” He added the last bit in a burst of comedy.

  She didn’t laugh. “Are you attracted to me?”

  He blinked. “Of course. Dammit, Ava. I’ve never been more attracted to anyone in my life.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” She sighed. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have brought it up. Can you just
go? I’m not making any sense. You’ve made it clear you aren’t interested in me that way. I get it.”

  “No. I’m not going anywhere.” He was afraid to move at all. Closer? Farther? Which would be the best option? He chose closer, tugging her forward until she uncurled her legs and set her feet on the floor. He kneeled in front of her, spread her knees, and pulled her against his chest. The proximity alone was consuming.

  He tucked her face under his chin and held her head with his spread palm. His heart raced. She smelled so damn good. And she was so soft. His body jumped to attention.

  She fisted his shirt in her hands at his waist. “Xavier…”

  “Not going anywhere,” he repeated. “Stop arguing with me. You know you don’t want me to leave. And you know it’s bullshit that I’m not interested in sleeping with you. I’ve never wanted anything more than I want to take you to bed. Painfully so.” He rocked her against him for a long time, and then he pulled her a few inches back to meet her gaze.

  She sighed.

  He threaded his hands in her hair and held her face steady, slowly lowering his mouth toward hers. If he could just kiss her…

  She didn’t stop him, so he closed the gap and met her lips. Soft. Smooth.

  When she moaned against his mouth, he angled to the side and deepened the kiss, teasing the seam of her lips with his tongue until she let him in.

  There was a definitive moment when he broke through. A split second when she sighed into his mouth and switched from fisting his shirt to flattening her palms on his abs.

  His heart soared. He would give anything to freeze time and hold this feeling. Including sleep with her.

  For four days, he’d paced his condo. He’d tossed and turned at night. All he could see behind his eyelids was her sweet face. Her open heart. Her desire. It was burned in his mind. Only a fool would walk away from her on principal.

  He hadn’t come to her apartment tonight intending to have sex with her. But in the back of his mind, he’d known he would do it if the alternative was losing her.

  Did she believe the things she said to him? He had to hope she was right—that she would never regret losing her virginity to him even if she later decided she couldn’t live in his world.