Choosing Kellen Read online

  I shuffle into the shady corner and lean against the bricks. They’re rough on my skin. I’m shaking from a chill and from the knowledge that Lucy and Master Roman have watched me get disciplined. What did I think would happen when I disobeyed Master Kellen?

  I clasp my hands behind my back, lean my forehead against the bricks, and part my legs. Every breath reminds me of my nipples, which are jutted out, pebbling the front of my swimsuit.

  Fifteen minutes seems like two hours. I can hear Lucy splashing in the water and talking softly. I wonder what she thinks of my behavior. I bet she doesn’t get into trouble as often as I seem to. I bet she didn’t get spanked as many times as me in the first few days with Master Roman.

  Finally, Master Kellen wraps a towel around me and lifts me in his arms. He carries me to his chair and sits with me cradled in his lap. “This little one tests every boundary, that’s for sure,” he tells Master Roman.

  Master Roman smiles at me. “Some girls need that at first. She may continue to defy you for several days until she realizes you aren’t a pushover.”

  Master Kellen gives me a squeeze. “I hope it doesn’t go on much longer than that. I’ve never met a little girl who enjoyed spending so much time in the corner with a sore bottom.”

  I bury my face in his chest, embarrassed that they’re talking about me in the third person. Again, I wonder if Master Kellen will stop our arrangement if I’m not a good girl. I know he doesn’t like bad girls. I don’t want to leave, but I’m not sure I’m good enough for him.

  Chapter 11

  Master Kellen

  * * *

  When I tuck Sabine in that night, I spend extra time teasing her little body until she comes precariously close to coming several times. I want her to feel that need and know that I will not let her come if she disobeys me. I’m hoping she will learn this lesson quickly because it’s much more fun watching her orgasm than edging her to a full flush before leaving her hanging.

  I don’t put her to bed until ten this time. No one needs that much sleep. When I turn off her light and shut the adjoining door between our rooms, I feel instantly bereft of her company. Lonely. Two days with this naughty little girl and already I can’t remember what I used to do in the evenings.

  Work. That’s what. That’s all I’ve done most of the time for three years. I’ve worked so damn many hours that my company has grown exponentially and I now have almost too much business.

  I also have capable employees who can manage things while I take a step back. Nevertheless, I head downstairs to my office and check my messages and emails, just to reassure myself that no one needed me desperately while I’ve been playing Daddy.

  That’s what I’ve been doing, right? Playing? A role. The job needed to be done by someone, and I stepped up to the plate. To train a new sub. Guide her. Help her find herself.

  After I scroll through my email, deciding nothing is urgent, I open the door that leads from my office to my back patio and step out into the night. I sigh as I recline on one of the lounge chairs and stare at the stars in the amazingly clear sky.

  I’m worried I’m in over my head. Falling for Sabine. It’s not reasonable for me to have feelings for someone I’ve had in my home less than forty-eight hours.

  Except, that’s not entirely true. I watched her for weeks before I approached her. Pondered the possibility of training her for several days, too. I went into this with specific intentions, and I know I’m straying from the plan.

  Even though I had to spank her naughty bottom two times today, she was angelic the rest of the day. She ate her dinner without argument, relaxed in the tub while I bathed her, and let me work the tangles out of her hair after I washed it. I loved every moment of having her curled up next to me on my bed while we both read a book. I offered to let her watch television, but she said she’d rather read. I even let her have her phone and read something adult from her ereader. I’d say I was very lenient in that regard.

  I close my eyes against the night sky as I recall the last hour or so having her sweet little body against mine. It’s been so long since someone so totally stirred a need in me that I had buried deeply after Stacy died. Not that I haven’t had sex. I have. Not often, but a few times. In every instance, I was detached, scratching an itch. I knew I hadn’t been fair to my partner because my head wasn’t fully in the game.

  Since meeting Sabine, I’ve needed to adjust my cock on several occasions. Hell, today alone she made me grit my teeth to keep my dick at bay many times. I can’t believe how responsive she was to being exposed. I’m still a bit shocked. I had expected her to balk. I had even considered not putting her through the stress. I watched her carefully as Roman removed Lucy’s clothes, noting that instead of panicking, Sabine fidgeted. She watched closely. At the time, I judged her reaction to be almost jealousy.

  Incredible. I was stunned, and I gave her what she craved. If I’m not mistaken, it wasn’t simply the act of exposing herself to others that got her off, it was being more or less ordered to do so. She gave me her power when she let me pull that dress over her head and remove her shirt and panties. Her breathing was erratic. Her nipples were sharp points. And damn, but she was wet.

  I toss my forearm over my eyes, nearly groaning as I recall every second of this afternoon. I’m pretty sure her reaction shocked her as much as it did me. I’m equally certain that some part of her, conscious or subconscious, swam under that rope intentionally.

  And that’s what worries me. How long will she feel the need to defy me? Roman suggested it could be a phase. She’s testing me. Tossing attitude to see if I will truly hold my ground. I have news for Sabine, I will never let her get away with disobedience. It’s not in my nature.

  I consider my punishments. It’s possible I will have to make them less desirable. Maybe it’s not enough to spank her and leave her totally or partly naked in a corner. Perhaps I’m feeding a need by letting her stand there aroused.

  I could spank her harder and ensure my hand stays higher on her bottom so that all she feels is the burn from my palm. I could stand her in a corner fully clothed and leave her longer without interacting. Hell, I could even send her to her room or choose other forms of punishment that are far less interactive and don’t leave her aroused.

  I don’t like to be that kind of Daddy, though. I prefer my littles to behave themselves most of the time. I’d rather have the pleasure of watching her come undone from my fingers and my mouth. Hell, I’d rather have her in my bed at night with my cock buried in her pussy.

  Is it possible she acts out because she doesn’t want me to touch her so intimately? Perhaps she sabotages that possibility by acting up at least once each day. The way she responds to my touch and the look in her eyes tell me otherwise. I know she was close to begging after I stroked her pussy and tapped her clit tonight before pulling her nightgown over her and tucking her in.

  She was gasping for air, pleading with her eyes, her cheeks flushed that gorgeous shade of pink she so easily succumbs to several times a day.

  My phone rings in my pocket, and I pull it out. It’s Julius. I answer. “Hey.”

  “Hey yourself. What’s it like having a full-time submissive under your roof again?”

  “Exhausting,” I answer honestly. “I forgot how much work it is. Especially with a little. I can’t leave her alone. If I do, she’ll get into mischief.”

  He chuckles. “Don’t kid yourself. Abby gets into all sorts of mischief when we leave her alone, too. And there are three of us. She might not live as a young girl in our home, but she’s every bit our full-time submissive with rules and responsibilities.”

  “I hear you.” He’s right. I know it. I’ve seen their dynamic. I also know all three of them adore her and worship the ground she walks on.

  “Anyway, I was calling to see if you want to come over tomorrow night. Abby’s itching to touch base with Sabine and make sure she’s okay.”

  “Sure. It’s a good idea. Lucy and Roman came over today. I
think it was good for Sabine. Enlightening for all of us, too.”

  “I’ll bet.”

  “I should probably ask Sabine first. A playdate with Lucy is totally different from dinner with a long-time friend while exploring a side of herself her friend has never seen. She might not be ready for something like that. I’ll let her think about it. I’ll talk to her in the morning.”

  “Sounds like a plan. Don’t worry. If she’s not ready, we can let the two of them talk on the phone for a while.”

  “Good idea. I do want her to have people to talk things out with. She’s not an introvert. She’s going to need reassurance from others. Especially because she’s so new to the lifestyle. She questions everything, if not out loud at least in her mind.”

  “And that’s normal, of course. Hell, when Abby moved in with us, she didn’t know the first thing about BDSM.”

  I smile as I recall those days two years ago. “I remember. I was worried she wouldn’t decide to stay in Seattle and you three would mourn her loss.”

  “Beck, Levi, and I were just as concerned. I couldn’t sleep for fear she would leave us. Hell, I even hid from her to avoid facing the fact that I had fallen for her and wouldn’t admit it. I still have to pinch myself to remember she chose us. She stayed. She’s ours. When we finally established that she was not going to leave us, I still would’ve moved heaven and earth so she could get her law degree from Harvard. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop worrying about her insistence that she wanted to stay in Seattle and attend school here. She gave up a lot to be ours. I’ll never take it for granted.”

  It’s been a while since Julius and I have had such a deep conversation. I’m filled with emotion as he finishes. “You know Abby doesn’t regret her decision and never will. She loves you three with her entire being. It’s written on her face. It’s in her eyes. She does not for one moment regret attending school here in Seattle.”

  Julius sighs. “I know. You’re right. Hey, I didn’t call so you could reassure me about my submissive. This call was to check on you.” He chuckles.

  “I’m doing okay. Thanks for asking. It’s tough. It’s taking some adjustment. But Sabine is doing better than I expected, to be honest. She surprises me sometimes. Shocks me other times.”

  “Well, I hope she’s willing to come here for dinner. I’d love to see your dynamic firsthand.”

  “I’ll text you in the morning.”

  “Perfect. Later.”

  After ending the call, I set my phone on my chest and breathe deeply. Am I in over my head? I’m not sure. Maybe a night at Julius’s house will help. Unless Sabine isn’t ready to fully slide into her little space in front of Abby. I need to gauge her reaction closely and respect her opinion on this.

  But first, I need to make my way to the shower where I can take care of my permanent hard-on and hopefully get some sleep. Tossing all night wishing the sweet girl one room away was in my arms will make me cranky if I keep that up.

  Chapter 12

  Sabine

  * * *

  Master Kellen has pulled me between his legs. His hands are on my waist. His gaze is locked on mine. I’ve learned in the last few days that he does this when he has something important to say. I imagine it’s so that he can fully judge my reaction.

  “Julius has invited us over for dinner tonight. I told him I would have to check with you first.”

  I frown. He’s asking my opinion on something? This is new.

  After a few seconds, he continues. “I know Abby is your best friend, and I want you to be able to talk to her. Work things out. Discuss your feelings and weigh the pros and cons of what you’re experiencing.”

  He’s right. I would love that. I’m excited about the idea of seeing Abby tonight. I haven’t spoken to her enough. I feel awkward when I’m talking to her. How can I possibly explain what I’m going through over the phone? It’s surreal. “I’d like that, Sir.”

  He holds my gaze and inhales slowly. “You won’t be permitted to break from your little. I’ll expect you to be on your best behavior and obey me at all times. You’ll be respectful and polite.”

  I suck in a breath. This hadn’t occurred to me. I don’t know why, but I was picturing an evening as myself. I’m not sure how I feel about Abby seeing this side of me. Am I ready for that? “Oh.”

  He slides his hands up my waist and strokes the undersides of my breasts that are bare under my yellow sundress. I’m twelve today. The dress is made of thin cotton and has narrow straps holding it up. It poufs over my chest and then flares out from just below my breasts. Like the other two days, it’s short. Very short.

  I try to picture myself at Abby’s house in this dress. If it weren’t for the small ruffle along the top and bottom, it could almost pass for something someone older might wear. My panties are actually yellow this time too, with a small girly bow in front. My sandals are white. I’m wearing braids again today.

  Can I go to her house like this and remain in my little space while we’re there? I remind myself that Abby lives as a submissive. Not a little, but she still has three Doms dictating most of her life. It’s not that much different from my chosen experiment.

  I wouldn’t even care if Abby saw me naked. She’s my best friend. She’s seen me naked dozens of times over the years. We’ve gotten dressed together on many occasions. Those instances were somehow different, though. Casually changing in front of each other isn’t the same as being stripped by someone and exposed basically without my input.

  Would Master Kellen expose me to Abby’s three Masters? Again, I’m not sure why I should care. They’re all in the lifestyle. They’re used to naked submissives.

  I am not.

  This is new to me. I’m struggling in my mind. I keep remembering how I reacted yesterday in front of Master Roman and Lucy. I’d gotten so aroused while Master Kellen rubbed sunscreen into my skin. Everywhere. He took his time. They watched. I got wet from it. I could have easily come if Master Kellen had touched me between my legs for any length of time.

  “You are permitted to say no, baby girl. If you’re not ready, we don’t have to go. No one will think ill of you. Least of all me.”

  It actually calms me to know that he’s giving me a choice. It’s a twisted option, though. There’s a catch. Either I agree to spend time with my friend as a little girl or I don’t get to see her at all.

  I lift my thumb to my lips and settle my nail between my teeth as I think.

  Master Kellen grabs my wrist and tugs my hand down to my side.

  I decide to control my nerves and agree. “I’d like to go, Sir.”

  He cups my breasts and thumbs my greedy nipples, making me moan. God, how I want this man. So much, it sometimes literally hurts. And yet, he has promised me he won’t have sex with me for the entire two weeks. After only three days, that seems like an unimaginably long time.

  “Good girl. I’ll let Master Julius know.”

  The drive to Master Julius’s house is only about ten minutes. It’s not enough time for me to fully panic with concern about my decision. I’m sitting in the front passenger seat, but Master Kellen has flipped my world upside down by pointing out that only because I’m twelve today am I permitted to sit in the front. If we leave the house at any age younger than ten, I will sit behind him in the back seat.

  When I glanced toward the back of his SUV five minutes ago, I sucked in a sharp breath. There is an adult-sized car seat back there. Master Kellen chuckled when he saw my shock. Before he started the engine, he cupped my face. “Any age under eight requires a car seat, little one. Don’t look so stunned.”

  He’s thought of everything. Nothing has been left out. It’s mind-boggling and a bit scary. The thought of that car seat also has me squirming. I’m breathing heavily at the visual. Me sitting there with my legs spread around the raised center with a harness strapping me in tight.

  My panties grow wet at the thought of my pussy rubbing against that middle part while Master Kellen drives. Hell, the strap
s would brush against my nipples and drive me to distraction before we ever arrived.

  I squeeze my knees together, trying to avoid thinking about what it would be like to open the drawer marked for a two-year-old. I can’t fathom what other accoutrements might join my life on such a day.

  Master Kellen has told me he would like me to eventually try all six ages. Four isn’t too much of a stretch since I’ve done six. But two? I shudder.

  We pull into Abby’s circle driveway and Master Kellen rounds the car to let me out. He takes my hand as we approach the front door. I’m a ball of nerves when Randle, Julius’s butler, opens the front door.

  As we step inside, I’m reminded that Abby and her three Doms aren’t the only people who live here. Randle and his wife do, too. They’re in their early sixties, and I know them both well because I spent a month as a guest in this house.

  Already that seems like a decade ago.

  “Welcome, Master Kellen. Sabine.” Randle nods at both of us. “Everyone is in the library. You know where it is.”

  “I do. Thank you, Randle.” Master Kellen squeezes my hand and takes a step in the direction of the library.

  I hesitate, needing a moment to take a breath. I’ve been in this house. I stayed here for the past month. As a guest. I have not been here as a little. I’m nervous again. No matter how much time I’ve spent talking myself into this visit, I’m stressed.

  Master Kellen turns toward me and takes my face in his palms. “Talk to me, little one.”

  I draw in a breath and blow it out. “I’m good.”

  “Are you? Because your feet seem to be cemented to this spot,” he teases. “We don’t have to stay. We can do this another night.”

  I shake my head. I want to stay. I’m just trying to build the courage. “I’m ready.”

  Master Kellen holds my hand in his as we walk to the library. When we enter, I notice Levi, Beck, and Julius first. Beck and Levi are seated on one of the burgundy sofas. Julius is standing near them. I don’t see Abby yet.