Choosing Kellen (Surrender Book 4) Read online

  Choosing Kellen

  Surrender, Book Four

  Becca Jameson

  Copyright © 2020 by Becca Jameson

  Cover Artist: Scott Carpenter

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. And resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Created with Vellum

  Contents

  Newsletter

  Acknowledgments

  About the Book

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Epilogue

  Author’s Note

  Also by Becca Jameson

  About the Author

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  Becca’s Newsletter Sign-up

  Acknowledgments

  Thanks so much to my amazing beta readers for all your help with this book and the entire series! I love you. And to Susan and Rose—you both made this book shine!

  About the Book

  Sabine

  I came to Seattle for the summer to visit Abby.

  I came to experiment. To dabble in her lifestyle.

  I came because she’s so happy, and I’m jealous.

  I’ve tried lots of things at Surrender, except one.

  When Kellen proposes I spend two weeks with him, I can’t turn him down.

  Now, I’m in his home. I’m his little.

  It’s unnerving, and I’m very naughty. What difference does it make?

  It’s only for two weeks. It’s not like he would ever invite me to stay.

  Kellen

  I’m not ready to move on after losing my wife.

  Plus, Sabine is too green for me.

  But I have the time, and I need to put myself back out there.

  Now she’s in my home, learning the ropes.

  She’s challenging. Why does she defy me so often?

  I’m not sure I’m the right Daddy for her.

  She needs boundaries. She’s testing me.

  And then she takes things one step too far…

  Prologue

  Sabine

  “I’m so jealous. I can’t believe you’re graduating next month and I’ll still be trudging through law school for the rest of my life.”

  I laugh. I love how dramatic Abby can be sometimes. “You have no reason to be jealous. At least when you graduate, you’ll immediately have your pick of amazing jobs. I have zero idea what I’m going to do with my master’s in English. It’s depressing. I’m one month from joining the real grownup world, and I have no plans. The thought freaks me out. I don’t even want to join the real world.”

  “Why don’t you come out here, Sabine?” Abby’s voice lifted. “You’ve lived in Cambridge your entire life. Head west. I know your parents don’t mind if you don’t immediately get a job. Hell, your parents are so laid back, they probably don’t mind if you never get a job,” she teases.

  She’s not wrong. I do have indulgent parents. Abby’s idea is not a bad one though. I’ve never been to Seattle, and I haven’t seen Abby in a year. “I might be able to make that happen.”

  “Yes.” I can hear the excitement in her voice. “You can stay here with us as long as you’d like.”

  I chuckle. “Uh… Are you sure about that?” I tease. “You’re living as a submissive to three men. That’s overwhelming. As open-minded as I am, I’m not sure I want to witness your peculiar dynamics up close and personal. I’ve met Julius, Levi, and Beck. They’re…intense.”

  Abby originally went to Seattle for a summer internship. She was the most innocent college graduate I’ve ever known. I was stunned when she returned to Cambridge for her grandfather’s funeral two months later with two of those hunks in tow. I was even more stunned when I realized those three dominant, overbearing men had taken Abby under their wing in far more ways than were necessary for a summer internship in videography.

  “Don’t be silly. Of course, you’ll stay here. I promise, my Doms won’t insist I roam around naked in front of a house guest.”

  “Do they normally insist you wander around the house naked?” Abby never stops shocking me. Even though she’s been living with three overbearing Doms for two years, I’m still easily stunned by her lifestyle.

  “Often, yes.” She giggles. “And don’t even pretend you aren’t curious about BDSM. You’ve been curious since the day we met six years ago. You can go to the club here, Surrender. Meet some people. Maybe even dabble in the lifestyle.”

  I start tapping my foot against the floor. I’ve wanted to dip my toe into the fetish world for as long as I can remember. I’ve never done it, of course, mostly because I wouldn’t want my parents or the rest of the local aristocracy to find out. My parents are extremely permissive but even they have a line. There’s almost no way I could join a local BDSM club and keep it a secret. Someone would rat me out. Hell, my mother is a professor at Harvard. She would be mortified if something like that got out.

  If I went to Seattle though…

  “Say you’ll come. I’ll tell Julius, Beck, and Levi to hook you up with some Doms at Surrender. I promise you won’t regret it.”

  “What if I want to be the Domme instead of the other way around?” I’m only half-kidding. In my fantasies, a firm, demanding man controls my every move. In reality, I can’t imagine actually being submissive. I’m a very strong, independent woman. I’ve worked hard to earn my degree with honors. I have an apartment and manage my life smoothly. I’m no pushover.

  Granted, my parents still help me out financially, and I have a sizeable trust fund left to me by my paternal grandparents. In addition, I seriously have no plans for the future. Somehow, I’ve managed to put off making any decisions by continuing to go to school until I got my master’s.

  I lived in the dorm for undergrad and then got an apartment for the last two years. The truth is, my parents have always indulged me. I’m an only child. They’ve never pressured me to do anything. They’ve never demanded anything of me at all. I got away with all sorts of shenanigans as a child. No matter how much trouble I got into, they rarely got upset.

  I’m spoiled. I know it. I try not to act as privileged as I am, but there’s no denying I was born with a silver spoon.

  When I decided junior year of high school to go to Harvard, the decision was easy. My mother, Professor Marlene Bridges, teaches there. My parents simply smiled and told me they thought it was an excellent idea.

  My father, Edison Bridges, has a tendency to pat me on the head both literally and figuratively. “Whatever you want, honey.” I think they’ve always felt guilty for not spending more time with me or something. Because I have plenty of money, they have a cavalier attitude about my work ethic. If I want to work, fine. If not, that’s okay, too. It’s been my own internal perseverance that got me as far as I’ve co
me.

  After all, my mother works and she doesn’t need to, either. My father indulges her the same way he does me. She’s a philosophy professor. My father, on the other hand, comes from generations of money. He’s a banker. When he met my mother, she was a grad student. To hear him tell it, he knew she was the one the moment he saw her in his bank. He courted her like a true gentleman, married her within months, and has spent the past twenty-five years telling everyone how amazing she is.

  “Sabine? You still there?”

  “Yep. Sorry. I was thinking.”

  “Say you’ll come.” Abby giggles. “It’s funny, you know.”

  “What is?”

  “How the tables turned between us. When we met freshman year at Harvard, you were the more worldly one of the two of us. You encouraged me to experience things I’d never even imagined. Now, here we are six years later, and I’m the one living in an unconventional relationship encouraging you to open up and try out my world.”

  I smile. She’s right. “Just because I thought you should get a vibrator and loosen up a bit didn’t mean I had any idea you would run off the moment we graduated and find three doting Doms to scratch your itch.”

  More laughter. “You’ll come though, right?” She’s persistent.

  I tap my lips. “You know what I really want to do?”

  “What?” Her voice is eager.

  “Write about it.”

  “Write about what?”

  “The fetish world. It fascinates me. I’m not interested in teaching or editing or even writing the next great women’s lit novel. I’d like to write something taboo. Maybe publish it under a secret pen name or something.”

  “I love that idea.” Abby’s voice is elated. “I know people at Surrender will be receptive to introducing you to various aspects of the lifestyle, even if it is for research purposes. But…” Her voice dips.

  “But what?” I smile again. I know she’s about to joke about this plan of mine.

  “Don’t be surprised if you find you enjoy BDSM and meet the Dom of your dreams. It happened to me and I wasn’t even open to it yet. You, on the other hand, are more enlightened.”

  I laugh. I’m hardly more enlightened than Abby. That’s a stretch. But the idea is growing on me. What can it hurt? I’ll have a fun summer. My parents will be glad I’ve come up with a plan. They’ve only encouraged me to “find myself.”

  “Sabine?”

  “I’ll do it. I’ll be there in a month.”

  “Yay! I can’t wait.”

  As I end the call, I flop onto my bed and stare at the ceiling. Butterflies leap around in my stomach at the thought of visiting Abby. She lives in a world I’ve only dreamed about. Peripherally. What if I like it?

  Chapter 1

  Master Kellen

  “What the hell is she doing?”

  Master Roman, the owner of Surrender and a man I consider a close friend, turns toward me shaking his head. “Hey, Kellen. Yeah, she fancies herself a Domme tonight, so I set her up with Claudia to learn the ropes.”

  I cross my arms, plant my feet, and smirk. “That fiery redhead is no more a Domme than I’m a sub. She’s not even a switch.” It’s not that her hair is exactly fire red. It’s more of a subtle auburn. But her personality is feisty.

  Master Roman chuckles. “Agreed. But sometimes people need to figure these things out for themselves. She’s researching. I’m humoring her. We all are.”

  I inch closer, curiosity dragging me in. I’ve been watching Sabine for a month since she first arrived in Seattle and started coming to Surrender. Her best friend is Abby Wise, the submissive to three members of the club—Julius, Beck, and Levi. I know Sabine is curious, but her tendencies don’t run toward dominance. She’s impulsive and flighty. Someone needs to take her in hand and teach her a few lessons.

  I flex my fingers even though I know I’m not the man for the job. I’m not ready for a new submissive, and I’m certainly not ready for one who’s still learning about the lifestyle.

  Claudia has a seasoned male submissive on a spanking bench. Ricky. I know Ricky thrives on letting new Dommes use him. He enjoys the unknown. He’s a bit of a masochist, and I’m sure Claudia would never let a newbie strike anyone too hard, but that makes him perfect for demos because if anyone did accidentally cause him pain, he would like it.

  Claudia is holding a supple flogger in her right hand, adjusting her grip before she hands it to Sabine. She stands right behind Sabine, helping adjust her stance and giving her tips.

  I can’t hear her soft voice, but I know what she’s saying. I’ve been a Dom long enough to know how to train a newbie. Granted, I don’t work often with new Doms, or Dommes for that matter, but I have in the past.

  Sabine looks at Claudia with wide eyes, nodding as she lifts the flogger and then makes a tentative strike against Ricky’s naked rear. He turns his head and grins at her.

  Claudia scolds him sternly and then swats his bottom with her hand.

  I can’t help the smile that lifts my lips, partly because Claudia is a firm enough Domme not to let anyone top from the bottom in any fashion, let alone taunt her. She’s the one working with Sabine, so any reaction from Ricky is taken personally by Claudia.

  Sabine takes a step back, the flogger loose in her hand. She’s biting her lower lip and holding the flogger away from her body as if it’s contaminated and she doesn’t want to risk touching more of it than the handle.

  The truth is, Sabine is endearing. I get it. I’ve seen women like her before. Women who are dominant personalities in their regular lives who think that transfers to their fetish personalities. Sometimes it does. Often it does not.

  In Sabine’s case, it’s more than that. The woman likes to point out that she’s neither a Domme nor a sub. She insists her entire goal here at Surrender is research. I’m not sure anyone has had the heart to point out to her yet that she’s submissive through and through.

  I watch Sabine closely as she apologizes quietly to Claudia and returns the flogger. The pale skin of her cheeks is pink. She’s embarrassed and taken aback, which I’d bet money is rare for her. I wish I could hear what she’s saying. In fact, I have the sudden urge to intervene. Go to her. Convince her to see reason. Reason, in my opinion at this moment, being that she certainly isn’t a Domme.

  I don’t interrupt of course. Claudia has this under control. She instructs Sabine to stand to one side as she expertly gives Ricky the flogging he expected. Sabine watches closely, eyes wide, wincing every time the leather strikes Ricky’s skin.

  By the time Claudia is finished, Sabine needs aftercare worse than Ricky. And I need to adjust my cock.

  This is Sabine’s fourth Friday night at Surrender. She caught my eye the first night and has held my attention every time since. I can’t put my finger on why I’m remotely interested in watching her. She’s not at all my type. She’s not even a little. And if she were, she’d probably be a brat.

  “You’re interested.”

  The voice that startles me from behind belongs to Julius, and I turn to find him looking at Sabine even though he’s speaking to me.

  “No. Just watching. She’s gorgeous.”

  “And feisty.” Julius smiles at me. “When I first met her, she put me in my place in two seconds. She was very protective of Abby and concerned the three of us were going to hurt her.”

  “She may be feisty, but that doesn’t make her a Domme.”

  Julius chuckles. “So very true. The thing is, she’s aware of the lifestyle, but can’t seem to wrap her head around the fact that strong women often also submit behind closed doors.”

  I nod. Just as I suspected. Sabine not only craves it; she needs it.

  “When she figures it out, she’s going to need someone to train her.”

  I glance at Julius to find him staring at me pointedly and I shake my head. “Not a chance.”

  “Why not? You said yourself she’s gorgeous. I’ve seen you watching her on more than one occasion. I think
you’re perfect.”

  “Not gonna happen, Julius. I don’t train women. You know that. I like them to come to me already familiar with the lifestyle.”

  Julius shrugs as if my argument is flimsy. “I can tell you from personal experience that it’s very gratifying to train a woman to perfectly fit your mold. You know this. You’ve done it before. It’s what Levi, Beck, and I have done with Abby. Hell, she didn’t know the first thing about BDSM when she came to work for us. We’ve trained her to be exactly the submissive we want to spend our lives with.”

  “The three of you got lucky. She was already inclined that direction, and you know it. You can’t convince someone to be something they’re not ready for. It will backfire.”

  Julius glances at Sabine and Claudia and then back at me. “Well, I’m sure you agree she’s submissive. She’s not fooling anyone with her Domme exploration. She’s not even fooling anyone with her research argument. We’ve demonstrated a lot of different apparatus and toys for her in the last month. I know she’s at war in her mind, but she’s coming around. She watches us closely when we dominate Abby at the house.”

  “I can see perfectly well that she’s submissive, and I have no doubt she’ll eventually see the light, but my tastes are very specific, Julius, and you know it.” Everyone at Surrender knows my story. Everyone knows I’m a Daddy Dom. Everyone also knows my little died of breast cancer three years ago. It took me over a year to return to the club, and though I scene with women, I haven’t let myself get attached to anyone, and I haven’t scened with any littles.