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  She giggled, the sound cutting through some of the seriousness in the room. “Yeah, turns out abusers are pretty selfish.”

  Neil took his time standing, kissing the hollow of her stomach on his way. He stared at her while he finished removing his shirt, and he kept ogling her while he took off everything else, leaving only his boxer briefs.

  She fisted the comforter at her sides, shivering. “I know we said we wouldn’t have sex tonight, but…”

  He shook his head. “We’re not. Not here. Not tonight.” He climbed over her, straddling her body, still absorbing how amazingly sexy she was.

  “Neil…” she whispered. “I need…”

  He stroked her cheek. “Okay, baby. Let me make you feel good. I can do that with my shorts on.”

  She blushed. Damn, she was fucking gorgeous. “That doesn’t seem fair,” she murmured, squirming under his gaze.

  “Mmm. It would be my pleasure.” He brought his lips to hers, not wasting time with being gentle. He consumed her, stroking the seam of her mouth until she let him in and then tasting every inch of her until she was moaning and her hands came to his waist.

  She pulled on him, trying to get him to lower his body over hers, but that would be more than he could handle. He needed to keep his erection away from her pussy. He wasn’t going to have sex with her, but he also wasn’t going to grind against her.

  Nope. He intended to ease her need with his mouth, not his cock.

  She whimpered when he released her swollen lips to trail kisses down her neck and shoulders and between her breasts. Leaving the sexy bra in place, he nuzzled the lace and slid his tongue under the edge to flick her nipple.

  She arched up, a small cry escaping as her hands came to his biceps.

  He grinned. Damn, she was fucking sexy. Her eyes were totally glazed, her lips parted. She had no idea she’d made a noise, and he didn’t want to stifle her.

  He was pretty certain Amy and Renee were still downstairs. Even if they weren’t, they certainly wouldn’t care or say a single word if they heard anything coming from this room. They were too polite for that. Plus, there had been plenty of times over the years when Neil had endured Amy and Renee’s bedroom antics from across the hallway. He’d never said a word.

  Neil switched to the other breast, and the moment he flicked that nipple, making her arch, he reached under her back to unfasten the bra.

  As he lifted it away from her chest, she shuddered, panting, her legs restless between his. “Neil…”

  He loved that sound, his name a plea for more. Desperate. Needy.

  Her breasts were perfect globes. Her nipples dusky rose, the tips stiff buds begging for attention.

  Neil captured one between his lips while he thumbed the other at the same time.

  “Oh, God.” She gripped his biceps tighter.

  His cock was barely going to survive this torture.

  For a few minutes, he suckled her nipples, switching back and forth, teasing both tips over and over until both points were harder, swollen. A deeper shade of pink.

  When he slid down her body, causing her to release his arms, he watched her grab onto the comforter again, fisting it.

  He swirled his tongue in the dip of her belly button, enjoying the gasp from her lips. Trailing lower, he licked the edge of lace above her pussy.

  “Jesus. Neil…”

  He smiled. He knew that tone. He wished he could make this last longer, but judging by her moaning and writhing, she was going to come as soon as he flicked her clit.

  The only thing he could do to prolong the suspense and give her more of a buildup was to slide farther down the bed, climb between her legs, and ease her thighs wide.

  She was panting as he licked the seam of her thong between her thighs. He did it several more times, letting the need build. He wasn’t sure if he should let her keep the thong or not. Either way, he was going to make her come harder than she ever had in her life with his mouth.

  In the end, he decided he needed to see all of her, so he quickly rose over her, tugged the lace over her hips, and pulled it down her legs, tossing it aside the moment it was free.

  Seconds later, he was back between her legs, pressing her wide, inhaling her intoxicating scent while he got his first full view of her pussy. So swollen and wet and needy.

  “Neil, please,” she begged. Her knuckles were white at her sides, gripping the comforter so tightly she was going to be sore tomorrow.

  He dragged his tongue through her folds, flicking it hard over her clit when he reached that precious nub.

  She cried out, her entire body going stiff, her heels digging into the mattress.

  He held her writhing body down with his palms on her thighs while he sucked her clit into his mouth and tormented it with his tongue. She was delicious, and he knew she wouldn’t last much longer, so he thrust his tongue inside her and then returned to flutter it over her clit rapidly.

  She arched, her breath caught for a moment in her lungs before she stiffened completely and moaned. The pulses of her release against his lips pleased him so much that he didn’t care that his cock was not going to get what it wanted. This was so worth it.

  He just prayed she wouldn’t regret giving herself to him like this. Even though he wouldn’t enter her with his hard length, this was still extremely intimate; as intimate as two people could get without fully sealing the deal.

  As she relaxed, struggling to catch her breath, he climbed up next to her, gathered her in his arms, and held her close. He stroked her precious body everywhere his hands could reach—up and down her arms and thighs and back and butt.

  She tucked her face in the crook of his neck, still breathing hard.

  He kissed her temple, not wanting to say anything to break the silence, letting her absorb what had just happened, hoping she wouldn’t panic.

  When she finally spoke, her words were barely a whisper, and they stopped his heart. “I didn’t know…”

  He swallowed, understanding what she meant and wanting to punch every man who’d ever had the opportunity to touch her and hadn’t cared enough to show her what it meant to make love to her. Every man who had taken from her and not returned the favor. Fucking assholes.

  “I hate that for you,” he whispered in return. “From now on, you will know.”

  She snuggled closer, wrapping her arms around him. When her hands started sliding up and down his back and then included his boxer-covered ass, he held his breath. He didn’t want to say or do anything that would embarrass her or make her think he didn’t want her to touch him, but his strength was being put to the test.

  His breath hitched when she slipped her palm under the elastic of his waistband to cup his butt skin-to-skin. “May I please return the favor?” she asked, lifting her face to meet his gaze.

  He swallowed. “It’s not a tit for tat, baby. It never will be.” He rubbed her arm. “I didn’t tongue that sweet pussy hoping for reciprocation. I intend to do it often because I love seeing you lose your mind and come undone.” He smiled.

  She bit her bottom lip for a moment, assessing him before releasing the swollen flesh. “I’ve never given a blow job freely of my own choice. Please let me.”

  He stifled the urge to scream and punch a hole in the wall. How long would it take to undo the damage done to this sweet, precious woman? How long would it take for her to believe that sex wasn’t supposed to be like that? That she was fucking gorgeous and amazing and worth pampering?

  It would destroy her if he denied her this request. “You may do anything to me you want, baby. Any time. Never out of obligation though. There will be no scorekeeping. In this relationship, the number of orgasms you’re going to have compared to mine is going to cause you to lose track fast. If I don’t achieve three to one at least, then I’m doing something wrong.”

  Her eyes widened. “That’s crazy.”

  He shrugged. “Get used to it.”

  “Uh-huh. Well, I think you’ll be disappointed if you think I can
come three times in one night, so don’t get your hopes up. The lead on your pencil won’t need sharpening all that soon.”

  He chuckled. “Oh, baby, you have no idea.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Okay, whatever. Can we just be even this one time though?” She gave him a shove, trying to roll him onto his back.

  He drew in a deep breath as he rolled, lifting his hips to remove his boxers. His cock was harder than it had ever been when it bobbed free of the cotton confines.

  Heather slid down his body, resting on one hip alongside his thigh. Using one hand to brace herself halfway upright, she stroked one small finger up his cock from base to tip.

  He gritted his teeth. That small touch alone was enough to bring him close to orgasm. He reached for her wrist at his hip, wrapping his fingers around hers. Bracing himself.

  When she encircled his girth and drew her hand up his shaft, he moaned. “Jesus.”

  Holding him still, she leaned over and flicked her tongue through the slit, tasting him. It was so hot, he flinched.

  The expression on her face was serious and nervous when she lifted her gaze. She licked her lips. “Could you just, uh…” She pulled in a breath, seeming to find courage. “Could you not touch me? I mean my head or whatever.”

  He released her wrist immediately and pulled his arms over his head, tucking his hands under his neck. From what she’d said, he knew men must have held her head down on their cocks. Fucking assholes. “Baby, you don’t have to do this.”

  “I want to. I just want to feel in control.”

  “Of course.” It hurt though, in his chest. She had so many bad memories. It would take a long time to replace them.

  She was tentative at first as she drew him into her mouth. Meanwhile, he was struggling not to scare her by moving too much or groaning as loud as he instinctively felt.

  The second pass, she tongued him all the way to the base, and his eyes rolled back into his head.

  “Is this okay?” she asked, her voice filled with hesitation.

  He swallowed. “Heather, you can do no wrong. It’s so far past okay. I’m warning you, I’m going to come fast though. I’ve needed to for hours, maybe days. I’ll try to warn you.”

  She shook her head as her hand continued to ease up and down his shaft. “It’s okay. I want to taste you.”

  He lifted his brows. “You have tasted me. That doesn’t mean you have to swallow, baby. Don’t ever feel pressured to swallow. It’s not necessary.”

  “Mmm.” She lowered her head, taking him even deeper this time.

  He pursed his lips, a desperate attempt to hold on to a shred of sanity. Futile.

  She scooted down and leaned in closer, her breast dragging across his hip. His balls drew up at the feel of her nipple against his skin. The visual was enough to send him over the edge. And then she sucked him deeper, hollowing her cheeks.

  He drew in a breath and held it, but it only took her a few more passes before he lost the battle. She must have sensed when he was close, probably by his breaths, because damn if she didn’t sink down as low as she could manage and swallow every drop of his come as it shot into her throat.

  He was shaking and panting as she finally eased off him. No, he would never in a million years ask a woman to swallow. That was just over-the-top inconsiderate. But what he’d just watched was so fucking hot. He wouldn’t complain either.

  She chewed on the corner of her lip for a second and then released it. “Yeah?”

  He slowly smiled and then reached for her, pulling her alongside him. “Yeah doesn’t even begin to cover it, baby.” He kissed her temple, but when she shivered, he released her long enough to pull the covers out from under them and tuck them into a cocoon.

  Heather snuggled against his side, all previous hesitation or embarrassment gone. She didn’t even ask for a T-shirt.

  He couldn’t stop touching her, stroking her arm and back and thigh. “You okay?”

  “Mmm. Better than,” she murmured.

  He kissed her forehead. He was at least half a stratosphere better than okay, but he didn’t want to spook her, so he kept that to himself.

  Chapter 13

  Neil kept a close eye on Heather the next morning. She was quiet, but there was a good chance she was overwhelmed by his family and the implications of her sleeping with Neil.

  They showered and joined his family on the back porch for brunch. As Heather took a seat next to his mother, Neil fixed her a cup of coffee, adding cream and sugar just how he’d seen her do several times now. He set it in front of her and pointed at the breakfast spread set up buffet style along the side of the house. “Want me to fix you a plate?”

  She leaned her head back to look at him. “Please.”

  He wanted to kiss her, but he refrained. Instead, he grabbed her plate and his and fixed them both an assortment of eggs, bacon, fruit, and Danishes.

  Everyone was watching him. He felt their gazes boring into his back. When he turned around, Amy’s lips were pursed and his mother was hiding her mouth behind her cup of coffee.

  Neil set their plates down and took a seat next to Heather. Sure, maybe he was a little overprotective of her, but he knew she would be more comfortable in front of his family if he just filled her plate than if she had to do it herself.

  He grabbed the salt and pepper, wanting the conversation to resume. “I thought the party was a huge success.”

  “Yes, it was,” his mother said. “Perfect. Thank you so much for organizing it.”

  Neil nodded toward Amy and Renee. “They did most of the work. I can’t take credit.”

  His father cleared his throat. “Well, we’re blessed to have such amazing kids.” He reached over and squeezed Amy’s hand.

  “Dad…” Amy said as he leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Stop. You’ll make me cry.”

  His father turned his attention toward Heather and Neil. “Please let us know if there’s anything we can do to help. I know it’s going to be chaotic dealing with the aftermath of the fire. The insurance. Getting your car back…”

  Amy leaned on her elbows. “I make a great shopping partner anytime you need one.”

  “Thank you,” Heather said. “I feel like I haven’t fully grasped the magnitude of the situation yet. It hasn’t sunk in that everything I own is probably gone. I keep pretending I’m just away for a weekend.”

  Neil’s mother rubbed Heather’s shoulder. “I’m sure you’re overwhelmed. I can’t imagine. Please do let us know if we can help.”

  Heather looked like she was going to choke up, so Neil changed the subject. “We’re going to get going soon. Lots to deal with.”

  Linda nodded. “We really appreciate you coming. Both of you. I know it wasn’t good timing.”

  “It was lovely and a perfect distraction. Thank you again for having me,” Heather responded.

  After breakfast, they gathered up their bags, hugged everyone goodbye, and got on the road. Neil held Heather’s hand between them, but he could feel her pulling away. She was too quiet.

  She’d spent the rest of breakfast listening to his family’s banter about all kinds of things, her gaze roaming from one person to another. She smiled the entire time, but he knew she was feeling that disconnect she’d spoken of.

  All he’d been able to do was keep a hand on her, reminding her that she was grounded, that he wouldn’t throw her to the wolves, that he cared.

  He let her have the time to herself, not wanting to intrude on her thoughts but worrying at the same time. He waited until they were back in his house to grab her around the waist and face her, his hands sliding to her cheeks. “Did I take things too far last night?” That was his main concern.

  “No.” She shook her head. “It’s just all foreign to me, Neil. I need some time to adjust, if that’s even possible.”

  He forced himself to stay calm and not panic. “What can I do?” He felt helpless.

  “You’re doing everything. You’re my rock right now. That in and of itself
scares me.”

  “I don’t want to be adding to your stress.” He frowned.

  “I told you I’m a hot mess.” She gave him a wan smile. “Your world is so…perfect. It’s a lot to absorb. I’ve never lived in that kind of world. I’m not sure I’m meant to. I’m not sure I’m capable. Why would the universe let me have a taste of the other side? It’s almost cruel. Now I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

  He slid his hands down to her back and held her closer, tucking her head against his chest. “I’m not sure what’s perfect in your life considering you just lost your apartment and you don’t know when you’ll get your insurance money or even go back to work, but I want to be a soft place to fall, baby.”

  She chuckled. “Good point. I guess my life isn’t exactly raining great things.” She leaned back again. “But it feels like it. Maybe that seems odd to you, but I didn’t own anything I cared about in that apartment. The only thing I care about right now is making sure what I’m feeling is real and won’t shatter. More importantly, making sure what you’re feeling is real and won’t shatter. Or that I’m going to wake up in my dingy apartment and find out it was all a dream.”

  Thank God. He could work with this. “What I’m feeling is real. It’s not going to shatter. It didn’t start yesterday, baby. It’s been growing for a long time.”

  She nodded slowly. “Maybe, but you didn’t have all the facts. The more you learn about me, the scarier it gets.”

  “It’s not scarier for me. Each time I learn something new about you, I feel closer to you,” he pointed out. “When you share with me, it means you trust me.”

  “Eventually you’re going to realize it’s too much work. I’m not worth it. I don’t know how long it might take to undo the psychological damage I have. I don’t even know if it’s possible. I’ve had zero positive relationships with men. The only thing I know is shouting and belittling. I’ve only had bad sex. Hell, I can’t even give a blowjob without getting so triggered that I need to tie your hands back to keep you from accidentally touching me. I was scared out of my mind that I might panic last night.”