Nurturing Britney (Surrender Book 7) Read online

  When he comes back into the room, his hair is wet and he’s wearing jeans and a tight white T-shirt. He makes my mouth water. I stand very still as he comes to me, and then I’m in his arms again. I like it when he pulls me against him. I really like it when he kisses my neck.

  He releases me at the same time he groans. “Come. Let’s get something to eat.” He holds my hand as he leads me to the kitchen, and then he grabs me by the waist and swings me onto the stool.

  I smile as I watch him move around the kitchen.

  He glances at me. “When you’re ready, and only if you want to, I could have another little come over and talk to you.”

  I sit up straighter. “Oh. That might be nice.” I chew on my bottom lip though, uncertain. I might feel odd talking to another little.

  He comes to me, pulls my lip out with his thumb, and kisses me gently. “Not mandatory, sweetie. When you’re ready. Just an option. You think about it. If you decide you’d like to talk to someone, let me know.”

  “Yes, Sir.” I cock my head. “Should I call you Sir?”

  “When we’re alone, yes. I expect my littles to address me respectfully.”

  I nod. Apparently, the respect he explained to me the first time does extend beyond the bedroom. I already know he likes when I call him Sir. Now I’m understanding he’d prefer I address him that way all the time. Another question comes to mind. “Do you want me to call you Daddy?”

  He has the refrigerator open and he sucks in a breath and freezes. His hand grips the door hard enough that his knuckles are white. Finally, he glances at me. “Only when you’re ready and it feels natural. Not now. Don’t force it.”

  “Okay.” I watch him swallow. He would love for me to call him Daddy.

  He sets all the makings of a chef salad on the island and starts to chop vegetables while I watch. “You’ve been sliding into the role of a little for three days, sweetie. It happened naturally for you. It’s called little space. It’s a mindset that happens when you let yourself be your little. Not a lot is going to change. I’ll be trying different things with you to see what you enjoy.”

  “Like what?” My curiosity is off the charts.

  “For example, my natural inclination is to be a strict Daddy. That means you’ll do as you’re told. When you misbehave, you’ll be disciplined.”

  I squirm on the seat, my panties growing damp at the suggestion that he might punish me. My face flushes.

  He smiles at me. “Don’t be embarrassed. Many littles enjoy some form of discipline. It’s part of the dynamic. It’s inherent in the scene. I wouldn’t include obedience and discipline if it didn’t make you squirm.” He lifts his brows.

  My mouth is suddenly dry. “Is that what the tally marks are for?”

  “Yep.”

  I swallow as it dawns on me. “Are you going to spank me?”

  He meets my gaze. “Eventually.”

  “Once for every tally mark…”

  “Exactly.” He sets the knife down and comes to me again. He cups my face. “I don’t want you to dwell on that right now. I’ll discipline you when I think you’re ready to try that part of the lifestyle, and then I’ll adjust my punishments according to your reactions.”

  “What if I don’t like being spanked?” I squirm again. Part of me knows I will like it. And that part of me is totally embarrassed.

  He winks at me. “Then I guess you won’t misbehave, will you?”

  I suck in a breath.

  He’s so intense. I watch him as he works. Every muscle in his arms bulges. I love the feel of his rock-hard biceps. I love the way he can easily hold me down. I love that he can lift me up and swing me around.

  I know he thinks I need time to explore this lifestyle, and he’s not wrong. My head is spinning with all the information. But what I also know is that I’m excited. Every inch of me wants this experience. I can’t imagine a day when I might decide I don’t want to be here anymore.

  I’m already so attached to Davis that I can’t take my gaze off him. He could easily become my world.

  And then what? Who will I be if I shed my old self and become Davis’s little girl? Is that enough? Could I move in with him and never leave? I have a lot of concerns about the future, but for now, I’m going to focus on the present and enjoy every moment of this experience.

  “Are there any vegetables you don’t like, sweetie?”

  “Carrots.” I turn my nose up.

  He chuckles. “Then I won’t put them all over your salad, but I expect you to eat two bites.”

  “Okay.” My voice comes out as a whine, startling me and making him glance up and smile.

  “Oh, boy. This sweet little girl is going to be the death of me. I can tell it already.”

  We eat dinner mostly in silence. I keep thinking of more questions, but there are so many I don’t even know where to begin. In addition, I’m trying to talk between bites of raw vegetables. So, I let my mind wander and build up, waiting until after dinner.

  Davis laughs at me when I make a sour face while eating two bites of carrot. Gross. I still don’t like them.

  He leads me to the same armchair in the living room after we load the dishwasher, and I’m glad he pulls me into his lap again. I love sitting on his lap. I love it when he has his arms around me.

  “More questions, sweet girl?” he prompts. “I could see the wheels turning during dinner.”

  “How many people do you know who live as Daddies and littles?”

  “There are dozens who are members of Surrender. Some of them I’m fairly well acquainted with. If I had my own little, I would know them better.” He smiles.

  “Oh.” He means me. If I were his then we would have a social circle that included other people in this lifestyle.

  He runs his hand up and down my thigh and I squirm on his lap. “So, it’s not weird that I get…um…horny when I’m submitting to you like this?”

  He shakes his head. “Not at all. I’m glad to hear it.” His hand runs up over my butt, teasing the edge of my panties.

  I suck in a breath, wetness instantly leaking out of me. “You’re teasing me.”

  “Mm-hmm. Sit still, sweetie.”

  I try, but it’s hard. “That makes it worse.”

  He winks. “Now, you’re catching on.”

  I squeeze my thighs together and draw my arms in close to my chest. “Do other little girls dress like this? Is that why you bought me these dresses?”

  “There are so many kinds of littles. Some prefer younger ages and some prefer older ages. Usually, girls that enjoy the ages of twelve to sixteen are called middles. So, to answer your question, they dress in all ages of clothing. Some even like to be infants. They might take a bottle and wear diapers.”

  I squish up my face. “I wouldn’t like that.”

  “Neither would I.” He smiles.

  “Do they live like this all the time?”

  “Again, preferences. Daddies and littles have to talk things out and reevaluate often. Make sure both their needs are being met. Some littles remain that way twenty-four-seven. Others have designated hours when they play. Some have regular jobs and leave the house as adults. Others do not.”

  “What kind of little was Collette?” I ask, hoping he doesn’t mind talking about her. He hasn’t indicated that it bothers him.

  He takes a breath and seems to be thinking about how much he wants to tell me. “She was a full-time little at first. When she moved in with me, she rarely broke from the lifestyle. But over time, we started to clash. Eventually, we were always fighting, and then I got this job in Seattle. She stayed behind because she didn’t want to work things out.”

  I swallow. “So, you want your little girl to be full-time?” The idea makes me nervous. I’m enjoying this, but could I do it forever? It’s hard to imagine. It sounds like Collette didn’t want to be his full-time little girl.

  He leans his forehead against mine and holds my gaze. “Yes, sweetie. I really would like to have a full-time litt
le. I’m flexible about her having a job outside of the home, but I want to find a little girl who craves the lifestyle as much as I do and is willing to consider our entire home her little space.”

  His expression is so serious. He’s watching me closely.

  I lick my lips but can’t think of how to respond.

  “I’m not so rigid that I expect my submissive to leave the house dressed outwardly as a little. I get that it can be very private. If she wants to work or needs to go to the store or something, I would grant her permission to dress in appropriate attire, but I would expect her to change her clothes and her mindset as soon as she gets back home. Does that make sense?”

  “I think so,” I murmur.

  “Most Doms have some sort of relationship in which their submissive spends an agreed-upon amount of time turning their choices over to the Dom. That looks like different things for every couple. Some submissives have a strong domestic role, for example. They might take care of the household and have tasks they need to complete each day. There are many types of dynamics. It just so happens that what I crave is taking care of someone.”

  “Like a child though.” I’m trying to understand.

  He shakes his head. “It’s not that I think of you as a child. You’re a grown woman. I’m super clear on that.” He winks and pats my butt. “It’s that I want you to have the world. I want to provide you with things that make you happy. And I enjoy having a partner who craves those things.”

  “Like toys and dresses, you mean?”

  “Yes, but it’s more than that. I like to create an environment where my little is safe and nurtured. It’s not all about coloring books and dolls. That’s one aspect. Seeing a little’s face light up because they get to play and enjoy themselves pleases me, but the other side is rules and discipline. You and I haven’t tapped into that much yet.”

  I wiggle a bit, gripping my thighs again. “Like spanking.”

  “Yes, and other forms of punishment. The relationship between a Daddy and a little usually includes the little getting herself into some level of trouble and needing discipline for her actions. It’s a dynamic. It’s beautiful when two people agree to the same wants and needs and work out something that fulfills both of them. It’s also hard to find.”

  “So, part of you wants me to make mistakes so you can spank me?” I flush.

  He grins. “Yes, but it also means that you sometimes make those mistakes intentionally because you like to be spanked.”

  I frown. “Why would I do that?” Though I’m pretty sure I know the answer.

  “You’ll see.” He pats my butt again. “There’s a gray area though. Some littles are what we call brats. They act up often and intentionally because they like to be in trouble. That’s not my kink. I prefer my little girl to try her best and be well-behaved. She’ll make mistakes and need discipline, but not so often that she spends all her time with a sore bottom.”

  I squirm again.

  He chuckles. “The thought intrigues you.”

  “I guess, but will it hurt?”

  “Depends.”

  “On what?”

  “Many things. For one, it takes some time to figure out how much a little girl can tolerate. Some people like to be spanked hard. It helps them purge in a way. It can clear the mind. Some people don’t have that level of pain tolerance and only need a swat. In addition, I take into consideration the level of the disobedience. Not putting your toys away may only warrant a swat on the bottom. Safety issues are different. Running into moving traffic, getting too close to a hot stove, or not checking in to let me know you’re safe would cause you to end up over my knee getting a spanking you won’t forget.” He lifts a brow for emphasis.

  I’m not sure I’m breathing. It takes me a moment to sort through all of that. “But of course I wouldn’t run into the street, and I’m old enough to use the stove.”

  He grins. “And that’s part of the dynamic. You’re not old enough to use the stove if we agree on an age that gives me that level of authority. Also, once a little gets into the mindset, if she allows a Daddy figure to make these decisions for her, then she tends to begin to expect her Daddy to be the one always conscious of the world around them. She may wander off at the park or stray too close to a pond or river. She might get caught up in playing or watching tv and forget to do her chores.”

  I take a few moments to process all of this again. “It’s complicated.”

  “Yes. It’s an entire way of life. It has give and take like any other Dom/sub relationship. It’s hard to grasp from the outside, but you’ve been living with one foot in this lifestyle for a few days. You already understand more than you realize. It’s come naturally to you.”

  I sigh and lean against his shoulder.

  He glances at his watch and says, “It’s late, sweetie. Bedtime.”

  I lift my head and look at him.

  He taps my nose. “Give it a try. What do you have to lose? Go all-in. See how it makes you feel.”

  “You’re going to tell me what to do all the time?”

  He nods.

  “So, I have to go to bed even if I’m not tired?”

  “Yep. You also have to take a bath and brush your teeth. After that, I’ll tuck you in, and then lights out.”

  I’m torn because I’m actually turned on by his suggestion. I have been this entire time. The thought of submitting to him is tempting. So what if most people wouldn’t understand? I’ve never had a Daddy like this. Not even when I was a kid. I want to play along and see what happens. “Okay.”

  He lifts me off his lap and sets me on my feet. I’m a little surprised when he also stands and then takes my hand to lead me to my room and then into my bathroom. When we get there, he sits on the closed toilet and pulls me between his legs so that we’re eye to eye.

  His expression is serious. “I’m going to give you a choice right now. It won’t happen often, so don’t get used to it. But finding the age you like best takes some trial and error. For now, I need you to choose if you want to aim younger or older. Your age affects the types of rules you follow and the types of toys and clothes I buy you. Make sense?”

  “I think so.”

  He pulls me closer. “Younger means I’m going to give you a bath at night and dress you in the morning. Older means I leave you to do it yourself.”

  My breath hitches.

  “You’ll learn quickly that I’m pretty controlling either way. My preference tends to run kind of young. I’d like to choose your clothes and take care of all your needs from food to bedtimes. I like structure, and I’m strict about enforcing it. That being said, I’m willing to negotiate especially when it comes to age. There are plenty of women who prefer to age play in the middle range, and I can accommodate that.”

  I glance at the tub and try to imagine letting Davis bathe me. He has already been choosing my clothes since I arrived. Plus, I love the little gifts he gives me every day. I’m excited to see what else he has.

  I chew on my bottom lip, more concerned about what it says about me that I want this, than the actual choice. Hands down, I want him to take over. I feel an inner calm at just the suggestion.

  I’m tired. Tired of holding on to life by a thread. Tired of having to balance my finances so that I have enough to pay the gas bill and eat. I’m tired of dancing mostly naked in front of strangers to pay my rent.

  Is it strange that I’m willing to let someone else be in charge for a while? Maybe I’m taking advantage of Davis. I’m worried he might be disappointed if I change my mind. For now, though, I don’t care. He’s offering. I’m accepting.

  There is no choice to be made really.

  I meet his gaze. “I’d like to be young, Sir.”

  The smile he gives me lights up his face. I’ve pleased him.

  My belly does flip flops. My knees are weak from the implication. He’s seen me naked, but this is different. And I’m obviously not going to see him naked. He’s made that clear. I’m okay with that too. For
now.

  I try to act like sex is no big deal, but it is. To me, it is. I’ve never seen a man’s penis. Not in front of me. Not up close and personal. Perhaps I’m a bit old to feel nervous about sex, but I am. The fact that Davis doesn’t want to sleep with me yet takes that load off my shoulders in a way. At the same time, I’m a bit disappointed.

  Davis cups my face and kisses my lips. “One day at a time, okay? Let me guide you. See how it makes you feel. We’ll touch base often and go over what you liked and didn’t like.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He sets me back a few inches and reaches over to turn on the tub. As it fills, his hands come to the hem of my dress. “Arms up, sweetie.”

  I shiver as I lift my arms. This is happening. I’m turning over my care to Davis. My belly is in a full tumble now, and my nipples are stiff points when he removes my dress. Instinctively, I cover them with my hands. Is it weird that I’m aroused?

  Davis leans down and pulls my panties down my legs, tapping my ankles so that I’ll step out of them. My face heats because I know the cotton is wet with my arousal and I forgot that he can’t possibly miss that fact.

  When he palms my soaked panties before dropping them in the hamper, I glance away, biting my lip. I’m naked in front of him. All the lights are on. I’m so aroused that my knees are weak.

  Davis reaches for my wrists and gives a tug. “I’ve seen naked little girls before, sweetie.”

  I reluctantly drop my arms, but I’m breathing heavily.

  His hands roam up my sides until his thumbs brush the swell under my breasts, making my breath hitch again. “Talk to me.”

  “I’m embarrassed, Sir,” I murmur.

  “Because I’m seeing you naked, sweetie?”

  I shake my head. “Because I’m aroused.”

  “Look at me, Britney.”

  I meet his gaze, but I’m a hot mess.

  “That’s the goal, sweet girl. I want you to find our lifestyle arousing. I want you to squirm all the time. I want your nipples to get hard because I reprimand you. I want your pussy to get wet because I spank you. I want you to feel so aroused all the time that you can’t wait for me to let you come.”