Leaving Roman Read online

  Several seconds go by before she nods, her face flushed.

  Thank God.

  I release her chin and reach for her hand, giving her a slight tug to get her to stand. I consider telling her to strip but decide to do it myself. That way I get to set the pace. My cock is hard just thinking about her sweet little body unveiled to me. I haven’t seen her in five long days. I won’t have sex with her or even let her touch my aching dick, but I need my hands on her. That’s more important to me right now.

  She stands before me with her hands at her sides. I slip her cardigan off her shoulders and down her arms, dropping it on the coffee table. Next, I lift her right foot and remove her shoe and sock while she steadies herself with her hands on my shoulders.

  It feels so damn good to have her gripping me like that. She’s done so hundreds of times when I’ve dressed or undressed her. I’ve taken those precious moments for granted.

  I take my time unbuttoning her jeans and lowering the zipper. I nearly moan when I see that she’s wearing nothing underneath. Interesting choice. She has defiantly left her little girl panties off, but she hasn’t gone so far as to replace them with adult lingerie.

  After I shrug her jeans over her hips and down her legs, she steps out of them. She’s left in nothing but a T-shirt. I can see her beaded nipples through the front. She hasn’t put on any kind of bra either.

  I set my hands on her thighs and urge her forward, closer to me, between my legs. My hands spread around to the backs of her thighs, and then I ease them up to cup her bare bottom before going higher, lifting the cotton material as I go. “Arms up, blossom.”

  Heaven shines down as she lifts her arms the way I’ve instructed, allowing me to slip the T-shirt over her head. She’s naked. A shiver wracks her body. Her little nipples are hard points. Her pert tits have red splotches on them from nerves or embarrassment or desire. Any of those or all of them are possible.

  I cup her breasts, molding my hands to her soft skin, loving the feel of her in my palms. My sweet girl. My blossom. My life. I ignore the niggling sensation in the back of my mind that this could be the last time she lets me touch her. There are no guarantees for tomorrow. My little girl is changing, evolving, growing. She needs something I’m not sure I can give her. Hell, even if I could, I’m not sure she wants to take it from me any longer anyway.

  I take my time, flicking my thumbs over her distended nipples, watching them grow harder. She arches into my touch, moaning softly as her legs part on their own. I don’t need to touch her pussy to know it’s wet. It’s always wet when I do this to her.

  “I’m going to spank you now. I’ll strike you hard at first for discipline and then lower my swats until the pain switches to pleasure.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “You’ll use the spanking to forgive yourself for any transgressions you feel you’ve committed in the last few days. Put them out of your mind. Clear your head of any perceived wrongdoings so you can get back to concentrating on what our relationship looks like going forward.”

  She nods. “Yes, Sir.”

  I slide my hands to her hips and bring her around to my side. As she lowers herself over my knees, I hold my breath. I’ve had her body in this position a hundred times or more. It’s comfortable for us. She immediately relaxes over my knees, her tits pressed against my thigh. I clasp her hands at the small of her back as I listen to her release a long breath.

  Good. I want this to be therapeutic for her. If she’s carrying around any guilt or burdens, she needs to release them so she can move forward. I know her well enough to know that she would kick herself for half a day for something as small as not finishing her milk while I wasn’t looking.

  Is this a healthy relationship? I’ve always thought so. It’s what works for us. I make the rules. She follows them. Until now. Until she’s shaken things up and left me.

  I’m glad I don’t need to speak right now because I’m sure my voice would crack. I’m choked up. Emotional. I’ve never been so nervous. I smooth my palm on her soft bottom while I focus on the task I’m about to perform. I’ll spank her ten times high on her cheeks, hard enough to make her take notice. For punishment. And then I will lower my hand to the sensitive place where her bottom meets the back of her thighs and swat her in the precise location I know will make her squirm with need.

  I could make her come from the spanking alone, but I won’t. I won’t because I’m greedy, and I need to touch her pussy, feel her arousal, experience every moment when her cunt clenches around my fingers as she comes. I need to be able to lick her wetness from my fingers afterward. Taste her. Smell her scent. I’m desperate.

  Holding Lucy steady, I give her the first ten swats, her body twitching slightly with each blow. Her bottom is pink and warm when I finish. I rub the offended skin with my hand for a moment while she catches her breath, and then I spank her in that sweet spot she loves next.

  She gasps at the first contact, her thighs spreading wider. She wants this. She needs this. I have no doubt she has gotten no release in five days. I haven’t either. It’s unlike me, but I’ve been celibate even from my own hand for five days. I haven’t permitted myself to masturbate even in the shower or late at night. My cock has been hard for long stretches each day, but without Lucy, I just couldn’t do it.

  She lifts her head and gasps when I swat her just right, center of her cheeks, right at the apex of her thighs. I do it several more times, watching her for signs she’s getting close. When her body stiffens, I reach between her legs and thrust my fingers deep into her wet cunt.

  She cries out, music to my ears. Her knees bend so that her sweet little feet are in the air. She arches her head up, her nipples lifting off my thigh just enough to brush the denim. This is how I love her. Vulnerable. Pure. Sexy. Mine.

  Will I ever get to experience this again?

  I feel grateful for this impromptu opportunity with her. On the off chance she doesn’t want to be my little anymore, I memorize every detail. Guarding this experience in my heart.

  I watch her profile as I fuck her pussy, my thumb sliding in and out of her while my fingers play with her clit. Her mouth hangs open, and I recognize the moment she reaches the edge. I press my fingers hard against her clit while she shatters, absorbing every pulse of her body around my thumb and against my hand. Precious.

  Perfect.

  Chapter 19

  Lucy

  * * *

  I’m still shaking when Master Roman leaves. Even though it only took him a few minutes to spank me and make me reach orgasm, I came so hard that I needed aftercare. He wrapped me in a blanket and rocked me in his lap for nearly half an hour before I finally blinked up at him.

  I’m grateful for the attention and the release, but nothing has changed. He didn’t come here to tell me he fully supported me getting a job and working out of the house. He came here because he thought I had invited a strange man into the apartment.

  He left fifteen minutes ago with nothing more than a kiss on my forehead and a soft, “I love you.” I’m still sitting where he placed me in the corner of the couch, feet curled under me, blanket wrapped around my naked body. I’m no longer shaking, but now that the cobwebs are clearing from the orgasm, I’m still a bit pissed at the way he stormed into the room assuming the worst about me.

  He’s overprotective. I’ve always known that. It’s one of the things I love about him. I never have to worry about anything as long as I’m with him. He takes care of every detail in my life, including my safety.

  I lean my cheek against the arm of the sofa and sigh. He shouldn’t have come running over here, but I’m also not sorry he did. He was right about one thing: I needed the spanking and the release. I feel far more relaxed. I’m not, however, less confused.

  God, I miss him. Am I being stubborn? He’s my everything.

  On top of my already full plate, I now have a brother in town. Maybe his presence will help ground me in reality. Maybe it won’t. I know Master Roman doesn’t
trust him. I totally agree. He’s odd. Why has he shown up now?

  I don’t even have a phone number for him. He appeared out of thin air and left just as quickly. What happens next? Tomorrow he’s going to come to my apartment again. What am I supposed to say or do with him?

  I’m not a social person in general. I have no interest in going to dinner or entertaining someone I don’t know. I don’t cook. I can hold my own when it comes to the friends I’ve made through Master Roman, and I played the game of student just fine, interacting sparingly with other students.

  I close my eyes and try to picture myself in an office setting. Because that’s basically what I’m fighting about with Master Roman, isn’t it? I want to get a job outside of the house, dress like a grown-up, put on makeup, fix my hair, drive, be a regular, adult woman for eight hours a day.

  I take a deep breath. Yes. This is what I want. It’s going to be hard. I know it. I’m introverted. It will take time to get used to a new normal, but I have to do this. For me.

  What if Master Roman doesn’t agree? What if he flat out denies my request? What if this is a deal breaker?

  I don’t have the answers to any of those questions, but I know sooner or later I’m going to have to face them.

  Chapter 20

  Lucy

  * * *

  I spend the next morning feeling stronger than I have in days. I straighten up the apartment, making it look like I live in it. For my brother’s sake more than anything. I even take some time to look through every cupboard, trying to learn the layout. At least I’ve found the glasses and plates and silverware.

  I empty my suitcase, hanging things in the closet and putting things in drawers. I don’t have much. Maybe I should buy a few more things. I’m living with a foot in two worlds. Or maybe three.

  In one world, I go back to Master Roman and resume my life as I’ve known it for three years. I’m not sure what we might negotiate or what continuing to live with Master Roman might look like though.

  In another world, I leave Master Roman and go out on my own. Find myself. Get a grown-up job. Create a new life. My entire body shudders at the thought. It’s not what I want. Not really. Not unless Master Roman forces my hand.

  I’m currently living in a third universe. One where I’m pretending to be a recent graduate living in an apartment near campus that I’ve presumably been living in for three years. It’s like I have a make-believe life created just for my new half brother. It’s not as if I can tell him about my other two options. Or any other aspect of my real life.

  After I familiarize myself with my apartment, I head for the grocery store. Luckily, there’s one nearby. I can walk. I don’t have a car. I don’t even know how to drive. I haven’t been inside a grocery store in three years either. It takes me an hour of wandering around to select things that a reasonable person might have in their apartment.

  I mostly purchase prepared foods. A few frozen dinners. Canned soups. But I also grab some soda and orange juice and random snacks. I use the credit card Master Roman has provided me to check out, and by the time I have everything put away in my apartment, I feel like I’m almost a normal human who has lived here for longer than five minutes.

  I’ve done nothing to change my wardrobe. I’m not ready to face that issue yet. Nor could I have done so in the last twenty-four hours. So, I’m dressed in my usual jeans, T-shirt, and sweater. No one can tell I don’t have anything on underneath.

  Daven shows up at three o’clock, and I’m actually kind of excited when he does. He’s my brother. I have a relative. I want to try and create a relationship with him. I have no idea how to do so or how he could ever fit into my world, but right now while I’m in limbo, I’ll take the time to explore the possibility of knowing a blood relative.

  “Hey,” he says as he enters my apartment. His fingertips are tucked in his jeans’ pockets, and he glances around my apartment nervously.

  I realize he’s probably wondering if Roman is here. I can’t blame him for stressing over that possibility. Master Roman didn’t exactly extend a warm welcome to Daven yesterday. “He’s not here,” I inform my brother.

  Daven jerks his gaze to me. “Who? Your boyfriend?” He shrugs. “I wasn’t…”

  I chuckle as I shut the door. “He’s overbearing. I know. Intimidating. But he’s not here today, so don’t worry.” He surely knows better than to show up here today. After what happened yesterday, I feel confident he will give me this space. I point toward the sofa. “Please, sit. Can I get you anything? I have soda this time,” I announce as if this is something amazing. It sounds stupid coming from my mouth since obviously most households have soda.

  “I’m fine. Thanks.” He takes a seat on one end of the sofa. “I forgot to ask yesterday. Would you mind giving me one of the pics of our father? It would be kinda nice to at least have something.”

  “Of course. I left some out for you when I put the boxes away.” I nod toward the coffee table where an envelope is sitting. I’m one step ahead of Daven. I settle in the armchair, crossing my legs and folding my arms. “Did you find a hotel or something last night?”

  “Yep.” He shrugs. “No big deal.” He leans back against the cushions. “What did you get your degree in?”

  “Oh, business.”

  “Nice. Any job offers yet?”

  “I’m still looking. Taking my time.” It’s been three months since I graduated. It has to sound lame that I’m not working yet. He has to be wondering how I can afford to live here.

  “I’m surprised you even need to work with such a rich boyfriend.” He fidgets as he says this.

  I don’t like the implication, but maybe he’s just making small talk. “I don’t like to rely on other people.”

  “Yeah, but damn, girl. That man is loaded. I looked him up. I can’t believe you’ve been dating him for three years. Why hasn’t he popped the question if he’s so into you?”

  I flinch. I have no interest in discussing my relationship with Master Roman at all. I blow him off. “We aren’t ready for that yet. Tell me about your life. Are you planning to stay in the area?”

  His gaze is roaming slowly around the apartment. I’m not sure why. Maybe he just wants to get to know me better. If he thinks he’s going to glean something from my décor, he’s sadly mistaken because I didn’t choose anything in this room, nor did I even see any of it before this week.

  Daven’s gaze comes to me. “Not sure yet. I’ve got a lead on a few jobs. Waiting to hear.”

  “Driving a truck, you mean?” I asked.

  “Maybe. Or construction. I’ve done a lot of different jobs over the years. I’ll find something soon. No biggie.”

  Something about him causes the hairs on my neck to stand on end, but I’m surely overreacting. He’s harmless. He’s my brother. I’m just not used to meeting new people, and I’m nervous about sharing details about my relationship. If we start interacting regularly, Daven is going to find out more about Master Roman. I’m not ready for that.

  “So…what kinds of things do you like to do? Where do you and the rich boyfriend usually hang out? I bet he takes you to some amazing restaurants and clubs.”

  I swallow. If he keeps harping on Roman, I’m going to struggle to keep my life private. I shrug. “I’m pretty introverted. We don’t go out much. I’m more of a homebody.”

  Daven lifts a brow as well as one corner of his mouth. “Mr. Fancy doesn’t take you out? I mean, I know he’s like a bazillionaire and all, but you make it sound like you’re a kept woman. Does he have a wife and kids or something?” He chuckles.

  My face heats to what I’m sure is a bright red. I can’t even respond.

  Daven catches my expression and sobers. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean that.” He swallows. “I’m just trying to understand. You have to admit it’s kinda weird. I mean from my perspective. My sister has a rich guy she’s been with for years, and she still lives in a campus apartment while he reigns over all of Seattle. That’s…just strange,
Lucy.”

  I lick my lips, trying to find words to respond with. I’ve never been so uncomfortable. For three years, I’ve kept my life so private that no one has ever put me on the spot like this. I search my brain for a logical response that will get him off my back. “Listen, it’s personal. I’m not the type to share everything. Yes, we’ve been together for a long time. Yes, I usually stay at his place. We’re kind of…on a break. Working through some stuff. So, I’ve chosen to stay at my apartment.”

  He nods. “Okay. Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. That makes sense. I’m just surprised you still have the apartment at all.”

  “Well, I like my independence.” This is a lie. I haven’t had much independence from the moment I met Master Roman, and until recently, I’ve never regretted it.

  How could Daven possibly fit into my life? It’s not like I could get back together with Master Roman and then have Daven over for dinner. Not a chance in hell. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to share my fetish with the outside world. People wouldn’t understand. The only people who have any idea how I live as Master Roman’s little are also in the BDSM lifestyle in some fashion. I don’t think I could share my true self with an outsider in a million years. Certainly not this new brother.

  “Sure. Independence is good,” he agrees amicably while smiling at me. For the first time since his arrival, I feel like the tension ebbs a bit from the room. And just as quickly that relaxing feeling shatters when he continues. “This is a super nice apartment. You must have worked a lot of hours flipping burgers to afford it while putting yourself through school.”

  I suck in a breath. He’s seriously going too far.

  He waves a hand in the air between us, shaking his head. “Just kidding. It’s none of my business. As long as you’re happy. That’s all that matters.”

  I’m not happy though. If I were, I wouldn’t be sleeping in this apartment at all. I’d be in Master Roman’s bed in his mansion. I’d have all my meals set in front of me and all my clothes laid out and all my choices made for me. It’s the life I love.