Trusting Aaron Read online

  He grabbed a pair of jeans and stepped into them. Next, he headed for the kitchen to make coffee. He couldn’t think straight until he had some caffeine in him. It was early. His skin was crawling. What he really wanted to do was go for a run.

  But he needed to get her to the airport first. After he dropped her off, he would leave the rental car he’d driven across the country at the airport return and take an Uber home. When all that was done, then he could put on his running shoes and exercise until his mind was numb and the pain receded.

  He knew Hope was pissed. He also knew she felt rejected. That had never been his intention. Why couldn’t she see that they had no future together until she got some closure? Hell, she had no future with anyone until she went back to Miami and faced her past.

  He wanted to say so many things to her. He wanted to reassure her that he wasn’t sending her away forever. She could come back. If she wanted to come to Denver and start a relationship with him some day, she could. But not today.

  He was supposed to be a rebound fuck, for God’s sake. Yes, she seemed totally into him and made his dick stiffen with every whimper she made, but how could she truly know how she felt about him after four days of fucking while on the run from her past?

  They needed to take a step back. Reevaluate. Breathe. They’d been together for five solid days without separating except to use the bathroom, and that didn’t even include showering half the time.

  Seriously, except for when he’d left her at the front desk at Zodiac, their only moments alone had been when one of them used the toilet.

  Aaron stared out the window of his apartment as he waited for the coffee to brew. He saw nothing. His mind was totally focused on the woman who’d stomped into his bathroom so pissed her face skipped pink and went to red. She might have even been crying.

  Damn, how he hated it when she cried.

  The shower shut off.

  He poured his coffee.

  He poured her coffee, adding cream and sugar the way she liked it.

  She came out of the bedroom with her suitcase in hand and set it on the living room floor.

  He held out her mug. “I made you coffee.”

  “Thanks.” She padded toward him and took it without meeting his gaze.

  Fuck.

  There were so many things he could say. But should he? They’d had a deal. She wanted to renege. That wasn’t the way to start a healthy relationship.

  Hope had so many qualities he loved. She was fun and smart and cute and silly and sexy. But, holy shit, she was stubborn. The bottom line was that he couldn’t even entertain the idea of continuing a relationship with her if she didn’t face her life head-on and own up to her responsibilities.

  She wasn’t a child, but when she dug her heels in and had one of her tantrums about returning to Miami, she sure acted like one.

  Aaron wasn’t the sort of Dom who needed a specific type of woman to spend his life with. He was flexible. He’d always known what mattered with a woman was chemistry above all else. After that, their particular kinks could be meshed together through negotiation.

  There was no way he could enter a long-term D/s relationship with Hope if she was going to hide from her past, though. He couldn’t be nothing more than her escape hatch from the real world. He didn’t want that.

  He took another sip of coffee and then faced the counter to set his mug down. His mind wouldn’t stop the running reel of the whirlwind relationship he’d just had with Hope. And it most definitely had been a relationship. At least in his mind.

  Admittedly, he was falling for her. Their connection was amazing, better than anything he’d ever experienced with another woman. But he had to remind himself she had been using him for sex. She might think she was infatuated with him, but was she really? Or had it all been a product of the novelty of having sex for the first time and getting to know her body?

  He wished he could sit her down and explain his thoughts to her. After days of talking nearly nonstop, he hadn’t once suggested the possibility of a future with her. Partly because he knew any mention of the idea would encourage her to argue with him about her return to Miami. He hadn’t wanted to taint their time together with constant arguing.

  He closed his eyes and hung his head, gripping the sides of the counter. He didn’t want to lose her. Dammit. The thought of putting her on that airplane and sending her back to Miami made his chest tighten. What if she didn’t come back?

  One thing was for sure, if he mentioned any concept of a future, she could easily wear him down and wiggle her way out of their agreement. And that wasn’t good for her. She needed to face everyone in Miami for herself and for her future.

  “We should go.” Her voice behind him made him spin around. She stood next to the door, suitcase at her side, purse over her shoulder.

  How long had he been standing there facing the sink? He nodded and made his way to the bedroom to put on shoes and grab a shirt.

  This was not how he’d wanted to end their time together. Not by a long shot. But he couldn’t think of a single thing to say to make things right.

  As he headed back to the living room, he spotted her second suitcase in the corner. He’d set it there last night. She had no idea that the flogger and Velcro wrist cuffs had come from his own play bag. For a moment, he hesitated. Had she forgotten the suitcase? Or did she leave it intentionally?

  In any case, there was no way he was going to send it with her and then worry all the time if she was using the contents with another man. Nope. The suitcase was theirs. No one else’s. If she came back, he swore to always keep it filled with exciting things that would rock her world and keep their relationship fresh. It could be their thing. A secret suitcase. Eventually, she’d wonder which items had even been in there originally and which items he’d added.

  He took a breath and headed to meet her at the front door.

  She was staring at the floor, toeing the carpet.

  He stepped into her space, cupped her face, and tipped her head back so she was forced to meet his gaze. “I had an amazing week with you.”

  She gave a slight nod. Her eyes were swollen and red. Her lips were pursed.

  Dammit. “You need to go home. Make amends. Apologize. Pick up the pieces. Find yourself.”

  Another nod. No words. Stoic. Resigned. Pissed.

  His heart sank, but there was nothing else he could do. If she insisted on being this way, then he needed to cut ties with her. There was no way he would enter into a relationship with a woman who had so much unfinished baggage dragging her down. If she couldn’t see that, then she wasn’t right for him. It didn’t need further explanation.

  He took her suitcase and led her to the parking garage and the rental car. They drove to the airport in silence. An uncomfortable silence they hadn’t experienced a single moment of from the second she’d jumped into his car five days ago.

  When he pulled up at airport departures, she climbed from the car without a word and rounded to the trunk.

  He took her suitcase out and set it on the ground. Taking her hand, he brought it to his face. “Call me when you get home safely?”

  “Sure.”

  “Hope…”

  She rose onto her toes, kissed his cheek, and reached to grab the handle of her suitcase. “Thanks for the road trip. I had a great time.” Without looking at him, she turned and walked away.

  He stood there for several minutes until she was long gone, his heart aching. He wished he could have a do-over for the morning, but would it matter? The woman was stubborn. Too stubborn for him.

  All he could do now was hope she cleaned up her mess, found some closure with her old life, and then managed to make her way back to him. He couldn’t push her anymore. It wouldn’t do any good. And he wouldn’t take her any other way.

  Aaron made himself busy all day. He returned the car, came home, went for a run, and lifted weights in the apartment’s small gym. When he was physically worn out, he switched to household tasks like laund
ry and grocery shopping and going through his mail.

  He didn’t permit himself to sit or think or dwell until he dropped onto his sofa that evening and stared at the ceiling. Almost immediately, his phone rang.

  Thank God. He would give almost anything to hear her voice, even if she said very little.

  But, when he lifted the phone, he saw that the call was from Faith instead. He sighed as he answered, expecting to find that Hope had asked her sister to call Aaron so she wouldn’t have to. “Hello.”

  “Did she change her mind, and you guys forgot to tell me?” Faith asked, laughing.

  “Change her mind about what?” Aaron sat up straighter, pulse kicking up.

  “Coming back to Miami, of course. Where is she? Do I have the wrong flight information?”

  “She’s not there?” He stood now.

  “Aaron, you’re scaring me. No. She’s not here. I’ve been waiting forever. That flight landed a while ago. The passengers have all picked up their luggage and left the airport.”

  “Shit.” He paced the room. “I dropped her off this morning. She should have been there by now.”

  “Well, not only is she not here, but she’s not answering her phone. It’s not even turned on.”

  Aaron paced faster. What stunt was Hope up to? Was it possible she hadn’t even left Denver? Or had she changed her ticket and gotten on another flight to somewhere else? That second idea seemed like a stretch, but who knew what Hope might have done that morning? She’d left him so pissed, anything was possible.

  “Aaron?”

  “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have assumed she would get on the plane just because I dropped her at the airport.”

  Faith laughed. Apparently she wasn’t nearly as concerned as Aaron. “From what little contact I’ve had with her this week, I’m surprised you let her leave at all. I was under the impression you two had hit it off big time, and she might find herself tied to your bed instead of getting on a plane.”

  Faith was half right. Hope had certainly been tied to his bed that morning. “I tried to convince her she needed to go home and face her responsibilities. Apparently, I failed.” He knew in his gut she had not left Denver. Where the hell was she?

  Faith laughed again. “Must say I’m impressed. I didn’t know Hope had it in her. I’m suddenly feeling quite proud. She grew a spine.”

  “I think she grew that spine the moment she ran out of the church, but that doesn’t change the fact that she needs to face your parents and her guests and her fiancé and apologize.” Was he the only one who could see this was sound reasoning?

  “You’re right. I get it. But, I’ll be honest, I’m so happy to find out she’s taking steps to extricate herself from our mother’s clutches.”

  Aaron blew out a breath, trying to think where Hope might have gone. She had her own trust fund, credit cards, and cash. She could be anywhere. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have the means to make arrangements to stay in Denver.

  “I don’t think you need to panic,” Faith continued. “She’ll be fine. She probably found someplace to take some time to think. That’s all.” The noisy sounds of the airport came to an end, telling Aaron that Faith had undoubtedly left and was back in her car.

  “Thinking is one thing. Your sister is stubborn.”

  Faith chuckled again, and he heard the change in tone as her car picked up the call on Bluetooth. “That’s a nice addition to her personality, then. If she’s sticking up for herself finally, that means she’s changing. I hated to see her become a doormat to Montgomery. It made my skin crawl.”

  Aaron rubbed his temples with his thumb and middle finger, trying to wrap his mind around this craziness.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” He sighed, exasperated. She was right. There was no reason to be concerned. Hope was a grown woman. Just because she’d decided to renege on their deal didn’t mean she was in danger.

  “Listen. I get where you’re coming from. I understand why you wanted her to come home and face her problems, but you need to understand where she’s coming from too. It’s not as simple as you paint it.”

  “How’s that?” Seemed pretty damn simple to him.

  “You haven’t spent twenty-six years living with our mother. She’s formidable. It’s very hard to stand up to her. I don’t think Hope has ever successfully done so in her life. Not about small things or big things.

  “Jane Davenport isn’t a woman you say no to. Not about the clothes you wear or the men you date. She’s livid right now. If I were Hope, I’d run from the country to avoid facing her. At least until she cools down. And that could be never.

  “Mom is embarrassed and furious. She can’t possibly see things through Hope’s eyes. The woman never cared for a moment that the marriage was one of convenience and that Hope didn’t love Ainsley. It simply wasn’t a factor. All she cares about is appearances, and she thinks Hope made her look foolish in front of everyone she knows.”

  Aaron squeezed his eyes shut. Faith had a point. Even though he and Hope had discussed nearly everything under the sun in the last five days, they’d left the subject of her mother alone. He hadn’t given her the chance to explain her relationship with Jane Davenport.

  In fact, worse than that, he’d specifically told her that unlike Rowen had been with Faith, there was no way Aaron would force a woman to maintain a relationship with someone she insisted wasn’t in her best interest. Aaron had totally failed Hope in this regard. Fuck.

  Faith continued. “I’m sure Hope is afraid to come back here, afraid she’ll lose her slim grip on independence, and fall under our mother’s spell again just to avoid any further confrontation.”

  “She’s stronger than that,” he pointed out, hoping he was right. The woman he’d just spent five days with had changed.

  “Perhaps, but she probably doesn’t trust herself.”

  He inhaled deeply, realizing he’d alienated her and chased her off with his insistence and unwillingness to listen. Granted, she still needed to clean up her mess, but there was no reason to be an asshole about it. He could have listened to her instead of cutting her off and being so rigid about her returning that exact morning.

  Maybe if he’d given her more time, she would have felt stronger and been able to face her problems. “What about Ainsley? Has anyone heard from him?”

  “The jilted fiancé? Everyone’s heard from him. You can’t believe the sympathy card he’s played. In fact, he hasn’t even bad-mouthed her to anyone.”

  Aaron frowned. That was strange. “Then facing him shouldn’t be a problem.”

  Faith’s sighed loudly. “Oh, Aaron. You have no idea how wrong you are. In my estimation, his goal is to find her, lure her into giving their relationship another chance, and get her back to the altar before she can blink.”

  “What?” Aaron’s voice rose, so did his blood pressure. “Why the hell would he want to marry her now?”

  “He never did want to marry her, Aaron. Not for love anyway. It was all a business arrangement. He wants to merge the family names. And he’ll do anything to make sure that still happens. If facing mother seems daunting, Hope has no idea what facing Montgomery will be like. It sends a chill down my spine.

  “I was kind of hoping she might stay in Denver a while. The longer she stays away from Montgomery, the stronger she will be emotionally. Better able to stand up to him. The last thing I want to see is him luring her back in and convincing her it would be a good idea to marry him. Not after what I’ve seen. I should have done more to convince her to leave him before the wedding. I feel horrible about that. I didn’t realize she was strong enough or cared enough to kick his ass to the curb.” She sighed. “Honestly, I didn’t fully realize what a dick Montgomery was. I didn’t spend enough time with him.”

  “Jesus.” Never once had Aaron entertained the idea that Ainsley would still want to marry Hope. The man hadn’t even wanted to touch her on the night before their wedding, or any other night before that. Aaron had suspecte
d the man was relieved that he hadn’t been the one to call off the wedding.

  The thought that Montgomery might still try to convince Hope to marry him brought bile to Aaron’s throat.

  “Now you’re catching on. Everyone who’s spoken to Montgomery has described a man beside himself with worry for the woman he loves so much who needs help and a loving home to recover from her breakdown.”

  Aaron cringed. Fuck. No wonder Hope hadn’t wanted to return to Miami. He was a total idiot. And he needed to find her.

  “I’m sorry, Aaron,” Faith continued. “I didn’t realize you were so in the dark. I assumed Hope had explained all this to you.”

  “She tried,” he murmured. “I didn’t exactly give her a chance.”

  “Well, I’ll bet anything she’s still in Denver. Start calling hotels. Start with the most expensive and work your way down the list.”

  “Thanks, Faith.”

  “No problem. Call me when you find her so I won’t worry. I’ll keep texting and calling her cell too.”

  “Will do.” He ended the call and stared at the phone. There were far too many hotels in Denver. And besides, he seriously doubted Hope would stay at the best one in town as her sister suggested. The Hope he’d grown to know had changed. He couldn’t picture her sitting in a spa right now getting a facial.

  No. She was curled up in a ball somewhere, mourning the loss of the first man who truly cared for her and who then proceeded to let her down.

  Chapter 16

  “Pour me another one.” Hope’s hand was swaying as she held the shot glass out toward London.

  London lifted a brow. “Are you sure? You’ve had a lot. You’re going to feel like shit tomorrow.”

  Hope nodded. “I don’t care how I feel tomorrow as long as I eventually pass out so I don’t have to think about today.” The room was swaying a bit.

  London poured another shot, but it didn’t reach the rim, and she put the lid back on the bottle as soon as she was done.

  “Thank you again for letting me stay here.” Were her words slurring? “If it’s inconvenient, I can still go to a hotel. I just thought it might be fun to pretend I was normal for a night.” Tears stung her eyes again. “I’ve never spent the evening drinking with a girlfriend in my life.” The first time she’d even come close had been with her sister on Friday night.