Pleasing Josie (Surrender Book 5) Read online

  He tugs his hand free and sets his palm on the bed across from me, leaning over me. “You have a night light, princess. And there are no monsters under the bed. I checked while you were in the bathroom.” He tickles my side.

  I giggle. God, I wish this were my life. “Are you sure?”

  He makes a production of leaning over the edge of the bed, picking up the side of the blankets, and peeking. “Nope. Still no monsters.”

  “Maybe I could sleep with you or Master Grayson.” My eyes widen. “Both of you. We could have a slumber party.”

  He chuckles. “Nope. Little girls need to sleep in their own beds at night. The adults need time to unwind and talk.”

  I pout. “You’re going to stay up? You and Master Grayson are going to talk about me?” I don’t like this thought. It’s not a novel concept, but I want to know what they’re going to say.

  He taps my nose and then leans down to kiss my forehead. “You’re not the only topic of discussion around here, princess. But if we do discuss you, it will only be because we both want you to have the world and we’ll be figuring out how to give it to you.”

  I know how he can give it to me. Let me stay. In this room. I want to be his little girl. I want Master Grayson to stay, too. We could be a family. Why can’t he see how much I’ve fallen for him?

  Master Quinten rubs a tear away from my cheek before I’ve even realized it escaped. “Shh. No need to cry, princess. You’re overly tired. You’ve had a long day. You need to sleep. One of us will come wake you up in the morning.”

  “What if I get scared?”

  He reaches across me to grab something from the corner of the bed, and a moment later, he’s pulling the comforter back just enough to tuck a stuffed bear in next to me. “If you get scared, snuggle up with Mr. Bear. He’ll protect you.”

  I wrap my arms around the bear and hug him to my side. He’s very soft and I do feel better as soon as he’s in my arms. “Thank you, Sir.”

  “Of course, princess.” He leans over and kisses my forehead again, and then he stands. “You’re not to get out of this bed, understood?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He points at the monitor in the corner of my canopy. “I can see you anytime I want, so I’ll know you’re safe.”

  That makes me feel better too. “Okay.”

  “Sleep tight, princess.” He smiles as he leaves my room.

  The moment the door shuts, I flinch. I want him to come back. I want him to hold me and rock me. I don’t want to be alone in this big bed. I want to go sleep with Master Grayson or Master Quinten.

  I glance at the baby monitor and pout. I don’t want to get a spanking again. Shoot. I turn onto my side, pull Mr. Bear against my chest, and close my eyes.

  For a while, sleep will not come, and then I start to fade. The last thing I remember is how cozy and loved I feel. Content. If I stop worrying about what happens when Master Grayson and I leave here tomorrow night, I feel peaceful and happy.

  Maybe Master Quinten is right. Maybe Master Grayson and I can find a third who will slide into our dynamic and complete us.

  As if I believe that.

  Chapter 22

  Master Grayson

  I’m still sitting on the back patio, staring at the sky, when Quinten returns. I shift my gaze to him as he resumes his seat. “She asleep?”

  “Or working on it.” He sets the monitor screen on the little table in front of us.

  I can see her curled up in a ball on her side and lean forward. “What is she clutching?”

  “A stuffed bear. It seemed to calm her.”

  I sigh as I lean back in my seat and rub my temples. “She really enjoys being a little.” I know I don’t need to point this out. It’s obvious.

  “Yes.”

  “I was shocked earlier when she added a childish voice.”

  “Did it bother you?”

  I smirk as I glance at him. “Why do I get the feeling you’re my shrink every time we have these chats?”

  He smiles and shrugs. “Well, I am a shrink, and I invited you two here for the weekend to help you figure out your disconnect, so…”

  I groan. He’s right. “True. And no, it didn’t bother me. I can’t understand my reaction to her, but I think she’s adorable, and I’ve never been more attracted to her.”

  “And yet…” he prompts.

  I sigh. “I can’t seem to fill the role of Daddy. Lord knows I’ve tried to put myself in the sort of shoes you seem to wear easily, but nothing comes out of my mouth. Watching you interact with her is like living art. It’s beautiful and smooth. It feels like my foot is in my mouth and down my throat every time I consider stepping into the role. I can’t manage to even speak the right words. And I don’t have it in me to discipline her, which she obviously craves.”

  “It’s not a character flaw, you know. Not everyone is interested in playing the role of a Daddy. It’s rather rare, actually.”

  I lift my hands and set them on my head, exasperated. “This is all very fucked-up.”

  “It’s not. It’s just who you are. And who she is.”

  “And so far, we’ve proven we don’t belong together.”

  Quinten leans forward and meets my gaze. “I don’t think that’s what we’ve proven at all. If you didn’t enjoy her little side or you were turned off by it, then I’d say we have a problem. Likewise, it would be inconvenient if you were opposed to sharing her. Neither of those things is true. You love watching her, and you’re not the least bit intimidated by another man dominating her. I’m even going to go so far as to say that Josie likes you watching her, too.”

  I stare at Quinten for a long time before I lick my lips and draw in a breath. “This is going to be very complicated. When the three of us are together, everything runs so smoothly. And it’s not just because I enjoy watching you with her.” I glance away before continuing. “I’ve enjoyed being with you myself. You’ve brought out a side of me I didn’t know existed.” It’s hard for me to admit this about myself, but it’s true.

  “You’re growing as an individual, Grayson. It was to be expected.”

  I jerk my gaze back to Quinten, my heart pounding. I can’t sit here and say nothing. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel a connection to the two of us that extends beyond what any of us anticipated.” He’s so laid back as if we were discussing the weather. We’re not. We’re talking about three people’s lives. His is one of them. He’s full of shit if he says he’s not interested enough to see where this thing between all of us could go from here. It’s infuriating.

  Quinten sighs and lowers his gaze to the concrete. “Doesn’t matter how I feel. This weekend was never about me. It was about you two. I have to be able to help people while still maintaining a professional distance.”

  I jump to my feet. “Bullshit.” I’m shaking. “Don’t sit there an act like this weekend meant nothing to you. I’ve seen how you look at Josie when she submits to you. I’ve watched you adjust your fucking cock when she’s so damn cute neither of us can stand it.” I drop my voice. “You adjusted that same cock when I was bent over your knees last night. Don’t tell me you don’t feel something for use that’s beyond professional.”

  “So what?” Quinten snaps, jumping to his feet so we are eye to eye. “So my cock gets hard when I dominate the two of you. So what if I have feelings for you. It doesn’t matter, Grayson. That wasn’t part of the agreement.”

  I laugh sardonically. “Fuck the agreement.”

  He shakes his head and runs a hand down his face. His voice is calmer when he speaks. “I don’t have the luxury of fucking the agreement. My hands are tied. I don’t have time in my life for one submissive, let alone two.”

  I blink at him. He’s either incredibly stubborn or a fucking good actor. It wouldn’t matter if I had to mediate world war three right now. I would still find a way to keep the people I love most in my life at any cost. Apparently, not Quinten. If he can throw this away because he’s too damn busy,
then it obviously doesn’t mean much to him.

  I turn and walk away, heading into the yard. I need some distance. I find it impossible to see how this experiment is going to end well without Quinten. For one thing, I can’t give Josie what she needs. For another thing, I’m confused as fuck because I have feelings not just for a man but a specific man. And thirdly, I’ve discovered a side of myself I didn’t know existed. A submissive side.

  I’m fucking frustrated. A bit scared. Confused. An entire gamut of emotions. I don’t want to lose Josie, and honestly, I don’t want to lose Quinten, no matter how stubborn he is. We both need him. Why does the man keep insisting he can’t be part of our lives?

  I flinch when hands land on my shoulders and then slide down to my biceps. Quinten’s lips are close to my ear when he speaks. “I know you’re frustrated.”

  I suck in a breath and try to shrug him off. I can’t think when he’s touching me.

  He smooths his hand around to my chest and holds me closer. “I’m sorry. It was completely unprofessional of me to get involved with the two of you. I never should have let it happen.” His words are incongruent with the fact that he’s kissing my neck.

  I both hate him and crave him right now. He’s under my skin. It’s hard to deny him anything when he’s touching me. I want everything he has to offer.

  “Submit to me. You’ve spent a lot of time hovering on the sidelines today, watching me with Josie. I haven’t pressured you to submit to me in front of her because I know it’s hard for you, but I want you to submit to me now.”

  I swallow but don’t move or speak.

  “Grayson…” There’s a warning in his voice.

  I bite into my bottom lip before giving him what he wants. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good. We have one more day together, and I want you to get everything you can get out of it. Even if we can’t continue this.”

  “Yes, Sir,” I mutter, sliding into a submissive role I’ve only let myself fully embrace a few times so far. It’s still foreign to me. Uncomfortable. It makes me question my entire existence.

  “You’re not my equal, Grayson. You never were. You don’t even want to be. When you’re with me, you crave direction.”

  I lower my gaze to the grass, knowing everything he is saying is true. I’m still mad at him, but I want to submit to him so badly that I won’t continue to argue and jeopardize our tenuous connection when we only have one more day together. He told us this was only a weekend arrangement from the beginning. Pushing him on this issue is a waste of breath.

  I want what he’s offering even though it’s still hard for me.

  “There’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling. The need to submit is perfectly natural.”

  “It felt odd when I took directions from you in front of Josie earlier,” I admit in a soft voice. “I’m not sure how that plays out.”

  “I don’t expect you to crawl on your knees or kiss my feet or suck my cock in front of Josie. That’s not what I’m asking of you. That’s why I put her to bed before approaching you so directly. It’s too early in your new dynamic with her for you to present yourself as both her Master and my sub, or anyone’s sub, at the same time. Not in the ways you’re thinking. You did amazing this afternoon when I guided you. It was a small step. Not more than you could handle. It was for her benefit as well. It will take time for you to feel comfortable enough to submit fully to someone in front of her. It’s a delicate dynamic.”

  I can’t move. I’m frozen in my spot. Master Quinten’s hands feel so good on my chest. He’s holding on to me. Supporting me. I’m trembling. When we’re alone, my legs grow weak. I want to please him in a way I assume Josie likes to please him. And please me.

  There’s another issue, though. My cock is achingly hard. For him. For Master Quinten. For the man who has turned both my and Josie’s worlds upside down in one day.

  “The only thing keeping me from palming your cock to see if it’s hard, Grayson, is the fact that I can see the bulge clearly in the moonlight.”

  I flinch, my hands fisting at my sides.

  “No reason to be embarrassed. You’re turned on when I dominate you. I know you’re still fighting against the desire to submit, but the sooner you fully acknowledge it, the better off you’ll be.”

  I remember something he said earlier that stuck in my head. “You mentioned the possibility of Josie and me finding a woman instead of a man to be our third. You can’t possibly expect me to submit to a woman.” I shudder.

  He chuckles. “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. There are some powerful female Dommes out there. Take Claudia for example. I’m sure you’ve seen her at Surrender many times.”

  I have. She’s a good friend of Roman and Julius, the owner and the manager of Surrender, respectively. She’s also formidable. But the thought of me personally submitting to her makes my skin crawl.

  “Come.” Master Quinten turns me around and guides me back toward the seating area. When we arrive, he grabs a cushion off one of the chairs and tosses it on the ground. “Sit. It will help your mindset if you are lower than me.”

  I drop onto my ass on the cushion, extending my legs and crossing them at the ankles as I lean back casually on my hands.

  Master Quinten takes a seat facing me before speaking again. “I’m just suggesting you keep an open mind. When you go to Surrender, let Josie be herself. Dress her in little clothing and let her go to the nursery area while you spend some time exploring other options.”

  “I’m still trying to wrap my head around parting ways and playing with other people at the club.”

  “It’s not uncommon. You know that. I think you should let other Daddies and Mommies work with Josie. I think you should book some scenes with Doms and Dommes. It will give you a taste of the other side of things. You’re still Josie’s Master. You set the boundaries. You make the arrangements for her time in the daycare. And then you take care of you.”

  I stare at my lap, trying to picture what he’s suggesting. It’s one thing for me to submit to Master Quinten here in his home. It’s another thing entirely for me to submit to a random person at the club. I’ve never done anything like that.

  “Sit up straight, Grayson. Cross your legs.”

  I close my eyes, hesitating only a moment before obeying him.

  “Good. Now, look at me.”

  I lift my gaze.

  “Tell me you’re going to try what I’m suggesting.”

  “I’m not sure, Sir. I’m very uncomfortable with the idea of submitting publicly. I’ve barely let myself do so here in your home.”

  “I understand better now where your reluctance to submit comes from, Grayson, but intellectually you know it has nothing to do with your father or your upbringing. It’s a craving. A need. It doesn’t put into question your masculinity or your strength. Are you concerned about people judging you?”

  I shrug. “I’m not sure. Maybe it’s just that I’ve established myself as a Dom the entire time I’ve been a member. I’m worried people will be surprised if I switch sides.”

  “Let me tell you a few things, Grayson.” His voice is not condescending at all, but it’s instructive, and he means for me to pay attention. “For one, you know good and well that Surrender is a safe place to be whoever you want to be, and that includes switching. You have surely noticed people completely changing their kink of choice over time, right?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “And don’t forget that you’re not the only one shaking things up. Josie will be concerned the first time she goes into Surrender as a little. She’s never presented that way, either. She might even balk at the idea. But neither of you is a closeted player, so there’s no reason to hide your new preferences.”

  I blow out a breath.

  “I’m going to tell you something else that might shock you, Grayson.”

  I wince.

  “I can’t possibly be the only Dom at surrender who has considered you a switch.”

  I draw
in a sharp breath.

  “You watch other Doms at work all the time, and I know you like to hide behind the façade that you’re learning from everyone, and that’s certainly acceptable, but you’re sometimes mesmerized by a scene. Drawn to it on another level that goes beyond educational. Do you realize that?”

  I shake my head slowly. “No, Sir.” It unnerves me to think other people have watched me that closely.

  “Talk to Roman or Julius. I’m sure they would be happy to help set you up with some Dominants.”

  I draw in a slow breath.

  “Look at me, Grayson.”

  I lift my gaze and find him staring at me intently. “That’s an order. I expect you to obey it. If you leave here tomorrow night with no plan, you will have accomplished nothing.”

  “Yes, Sir.” Tingles crawl up my spine. I’ve just agreed to do something I can’t fathom. The idea of speaking to Roman or Julius about my newfound, slightly unwanted, status unnerves me.

  “Good. I’m going to make a list of things you and Josie can do at home in the coming days and weeks to help smooth things between you.”

  “Like what, Sir?”

  “For starters, you need to start doing some of the work around the house. Josie needs to be taken care of. I’m not suggesting you do everything, but divide it more evenly. For example, I’m certain you’re capable of cooking. You should make dinner every other night. That one gesture alone will make Josie feel cared for.”

  “I can do that, Sir.”

  “At night, you two can still have great sex. Josie fell in love with the Dom who rocks her world with shibari. That hasn’t changed. Don’t stop doing what you’ve always done.”

  I nod.

  “One thing you might consider, if she’s interested, is having her go to work as a little. Since Master Kellen’s household is structured for his own little, she might like it. She also might not want to combine work and play. Let her decide.”