Leaving Roman Read online

  Why am I pushing this issue? Maybe I’ve been wrong to attempt to defy him. I’m not sure at all right now. But it niggles in my mind even while he stares down at me, his expression filled with silent reprimand.

  His voice lowers so that only I can hear him, but his tone is stern. “Go to your room. Take off these inappropriate clothes, and put them down the laundry shoot. Remove the makeup. Fix your hair. Leave on nothing but your panties. You may stand in the corner of your bedroom until I come up.”

  I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment as my current outfit disappears from my imagination, leaving me in little girl panties and a training bra I’m not old enough to wear. His words affect me in the same way they always do. I’m irrationally aroused. My panties are wet. My nipples are tight and puckered against the thin cotton of my ridiculous adult-sized child’s pretend bra. The sort of thing little girls wear when they don’t need one yet. The sort of thing preteens wear to impress their friends and show their boobs are coming in. My breasts sway and dimple and abrade against my dresses. They heighten my arousal at all times. And that’s the goal.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He releases me, and I turn to leave the room, head down, avoiding the gazes of our friends.

  Yep. I’m in trouble.

  The only question is, will I be able to stick to my guns later? I’m certain the punishment for my defiance in front of our close friends will earn me God knows how many days of edging and denial.

  When I misbehave, I’m not permitted to come. The length of time I spend walking around with a tight ball of unrequited need in my belly is never determinate.

  I suspect this time I’m in for a long dry spell. And the problem with that is I’m fully aware when I’m finally forgiven, the sex will be beyond phenomenal.

  What I need to do now is keep my head straight and not forget my own changing needs despite the sexual nirvana I’m sure to experience as a result of my defiance.

  Chapter 2

  Lucy

  * * *

  I’m not sure how long I’ve been standing in the designated corner in my little girl room before I hear the snick of the door and know Master Roman has finally entered. He’s left me here long enough to rue the fact that I’m missing out on my own graduation party.

  It’s my fault. I know this. I’m frustrated and disappointed, but I know better than to add to my defiance today.

  “Come here, Lucy.”

  I wince at his tone. He’s mad.

  When I turn away from the same corner I’ve stood in countless times over the years, I find him lowering himself to sit on the edge of my twin bed. I don’t use this room often anymore. I usually sleep with Daddy in his room. It’s something we negotiated the one and only time we had a fight a few months into our relationship.

  I use this room when Master feels like it or when I’m in trouble or when he thinks I need reminding of my position. I come here often to change clothes or take a bath too, but it’s not someplace I usually spend a great deal of time.

  I shuffle over to Master Roman’s side, wearing nothing but my pale blue Little Mermaid panties. I keep my gaze down.

  He takes my hand and pulls me closer. “I’m not sure what’s gotten into you today, but I’m not going to question what’s going on in your mind while we have a houseful of guests here to congratulate you. I am, however, going to spank you. Quick and hard. Afterward, we’ll get you dressed and join the party.”

  “Yes, Sir,” I murmur.

  He takes me over his knee, pulls my panties over my bottom, and smooths his hand over my skin, warming it. No matter how angry he is, he would never harm me. He will take care to make sure I’m left with a stinging reminder of my disobedience, but nothing lasting.

  I stiffen as he lands the first swat, holding my breath, uncertain how many times he might spank me. I never ask. He never tells me ahead of time.

  His palm lands several times high on my cheeks, alternating back and forth until I relax as the pain turns into something familiar and pleasurable. As I would have expected, he shifts his contact lower, spanking me at the crease between my butt cheeks and my thighs. He knows this will change the entire dynamic, leaving me horny and needy as his swats vibrate to my clit.

  Suddenly, he’s done. His hand disappears. But then he shocks me when he presses his fingers into the crotch of my panties and rubs hard against my pussy. It only lasts a few seconds, and then he removes his hand and stands me on my feet.

  I’m swaying, unable to breathe, so aroused I might explode.

  He jerks my panties up over my sore bottom and grabs my biceps. “Don’t you dare come, blossom. I’m impressed by how wet you are and how soaked your panties are, but you won’t have permission to come for a damn long time, so get used to wet panties and a throbbing little clit. You were horny while you waited for me to come up here.”

  “Yes, Sir,” I admit, gaze on the floor. His words have made me shake, as usual. “I’m sorry I was naughty,” I add, trying not to cry. I don’t want to ruin the rest of the day, but now I’m sexually frustrated on top of everything else. And he knows it.

  His hands smooth up to my cheeks, and he gently tips my head back. My long braids fall over my shoulders. “It’s over, little cherry blossom.” He wipes the lone tears running down both cheeks with his thumbs. “We won’t mention it again. Let’s get you dressed. You have gifts to open and cake to eat. Nancy made your favorite foods.”

  “Yes, Sir.” I force my voice to be stronger and lift my shoulders, shrugging off the punishment and stuffing the conversation we still haven’t had to the back of my mind.

  Master Roman picks up the dress he’s chosen for me from the bed. It’s a new one I’ve never seen before, but I’m not surprised to see that it’s pink and frilly and falls in a younger age bracket. Though my age-play role is an established twelve, he often selects clothing that’s decidedly younger than the average twelve-year-old would wear. And often, the fancier the event, the frillier the dress.

  I lift my arms so he can slide the dress over my head. It has poofy short sleeves and a smooth front at my chest that will flatten my breasts and rub against my nipples. Combined with the burning sting on my bottom, it’s going to be a long afternoon.

  Just below the tight upper bodice, the dress flares out in a full skirt that lands barely an inch below my panties. If I were to lift my arms too high, everyone would see my bottom. Not that it matters. They’ve all seen my panties before. Many of them have also watched me get spanked if they happened to be in the room when Master Roman decided I needed discipline.

  I sit on the floor, my panty-clad bottom directly on the carpet and pull on my lacey socks and white Mary Janes. Master Roman offers me his hand to help me stand, and I wince as my bottom complains about the carpet.

  Master Roman turns me around, lifts my dress, and tugs my panties over my bottom. He palms my warm skin. “You’ll be fine,” he announces, apparently satisfied that I’m not going to bruise as he pulls my panties back over my warm skin.

  He faces me again, cups my cheeks, and gives me a big smile. “I love you, blossom.”

  “I love you too, Daddy.” I do. With all my heart. I can’t fathom why I’ve gotten it in my head that I need more from life than what I have here in this house. It’s not like we never leave or see other people. We go to Julius’s house sometimes. I enjoy him and the two other men who live in his mansion. Beck and Levi. We also go to Claudia’s house. She’s been a very good friend to me, especially when I’ve really needed her. I wonder if there might come a day in the near future when I might need her again.

  The third place we infrequently visit is Master Roman’s club, Surrender. He owns the club. He doesn’t go there as often as he used to because he doesn’t like to leave me at home, and I’ve been reluctant to go with him.

  We’ve discussed my attendance many times, and each time I express my hesitance to out myself in such a public place. It makes me nervous. Master Roman has never pushed the issue, but he has menti
oned bringing me there when it’s not open to introduce me to the many other aspects of BDSM.

  I know he hopes one day I will relent and go to Surrender on his arm as his little girl. Maybe. But I’m not there yet.

  “Let’s join the party, yeah?”

  “Yes, Daddy. I’d like that.” I know my face is still red. My eyes are probably puffy. But no one downstairs would expect less.

  As I follow him from the room, I’m aware that my dress for tonight is so full that if I spun around really fast, it will expose my panties. I’ll need to be aware of sudden movements. The material is a very soft, thin, translucent tulle, so many layers of it that it’s no longer see-through.

  I glance down as I walk hand in hand with Daddy and smile. I love this dress. Like everything he chooses for me, it fills a hole. I never had anything this nice or this girly growing up. I wonder how many years I might enjoy satisfying the gap I missed when I actually was twelve. After all, I was only twelve for a year. I’ve been reliving that year for three years. I still love it. But is it something I want to do indefinitely?

  When we enter the library, everyone turns our way and smiles. No one flinches at what they know has happened behind closed doors. They don’t feel sorry for me. It’s not part of the game.

  Daddy puts his hand on my lower back and ushers me into the room in front of him as I smooth my skirt down. I’ve made it a point to ensure my panties don’t show. No matter how short my dresses sometimes are, I work hard to preserve that little piece of modesty. I always have.

  I need to take several deep breaths and focus on the party, but it’s hard when my bottom is burning, my pussy is wet, and my breasts are pressing against the front of my dress.

  “You look beautiful, Lucy,” Claudia says. In contrast, she is wearing a navy pencil skirt and a purple blouse. Her heels are gold sandals. Her blond bob is as perfect as always. And her blue eyes sparkle with sincerity.

  Claudia is my closest girlfriend. She has pulled me through some difficult emotional times in the last three years. I’ll never be able to repay her, and she doesn’t expect it. For as regal and put together as she always appears, she’s also honest and caring and kind. One glance might cause someone to find her pretentious, but they find out quickly they were wrong.

  “Thank you,” I respond. I feel pretty too. As I come more fully into the library, I remember the first time I met Claudia, Julius, Beck, and Levi right here in this room. They were the first people I faced after I agreed to a full-time commitment to be Master Roman’s little girl. I was embarrassed and scared out of my mind to be judged.

  None of Master Roman’s friends judged me that night, however. In fact, they never flinched. They acted as though my role was perfectly normal. And I would later find out they each have their own kinks and live in a world where judgement is not an option.

  Master Roman threads his fingers with mine and leads me across the room to the sitting area where everyone is gathered. He takes a seat in one of the oversized leather armchairs, spreads his legs, and pulls me to sit between them on one of his.

  As his hand snakes around my hips to hold me in place, my heart lightens. As is always the case, the painful part of my punishment is over. Forgotten. Granted, the repercussions may extend several days, but they will be subtle. He won’t physically punish me or ignore me. He’ll pick some other way to make sure I’ve learned my lesson.

  I know this is huge. I haven’t questioned him on my attire inside this house in years. I always eagerly change into whatever he sets out for me when I return home. My stress level immediately lowers when I slide back into my role as his little.

  I shouldn’t be doubting my future. But I am. The niggling sensation that I need something more from life won’t subside. For tonight, however, I need to push it to the back of my mind and enjoy my graduation day.

  Master Roman sets his free hand on my thigh and casually runs it up and down as if he’s unaware of the effect he has on me, but he’s always aware. Of everything. He knows exactly what his wandering fingers will do to me. It’s instantaneous. The first time his palm travels close to my pussy, my panties dampen further than they already are.

  I squirm, not because I can’t sit still any longer but because I know it will please him.

  He smiles at me indulgently, his eyes dancing. “Would you like to open your gifts before we move to the dining room for dinner?”

  “Yes, Sir.” I glance at the pile on the nearby coffee table. There are far more than the number of people in the room. These people who love me have gone out of their way to make my day special. They all know I don’t have any living family, and they’ve been the best replacement a girl could ever ask for.

  As I glance at each of them, I realize that might not be entirely true. I have a half brother—Daven. At least I think I do. I’ve received exactly one communication from him, and that was three years ago. Master Roman tried to find him for me, but it’s like he disappeared from the earth. One letter. That’s all I have. The phone number he included was no longer in service and no one was living at the address. Master Roman offered to find him through any means available, but I told him not to bother.

  Every once in a while, I think about this possible brother I have. Master Roman believes he’s legitimately my father’s other child, but if that’s the case, why did he disappear? Of course, Daven has no way of knowing if I ever received his initial communication. Perhaps he simply happened to move and change his phone number. People do.

  A squeeze to my waist brings me back to the present, and I glance at Master Roman and smile before turning my attention to Claudia as she stands from her perch on the sofa across from me, snags a gift off the table, and reaches over the top to hand it to me.

  I’m giddy as I rip into the thin, flat box. When I finally reveal the contents, my breath hitches. I hold the box in one hand and run the pointer of my other over the gorgeous pen and pencil set. They’re gold with a pink floral pattern on the handgrip. I lift watery eyes to Claudia. “Thank you. I love them.”

  “You’re welcome. Every graduate needs a fine set of writing utensils.”

  I pull them toward my chest, and Master Roman lifts his hand from my thigh to take the box from me. He sets the gift on the end table at his side.

  Claudia grabs another gift and hands it to me. “This one’s also from me.” Her eyes twinkle.

  I’m almost giggling as I open it, the paper falling to the floor at our feet. Another pen set, but this one is a set of twelve colored gel pens. Claudia knows how much I love to enjoy my creative side when I have free time. It would seem for the time being I’m going to have all the free time in the world.

  I cringe inwardly and shove the thought aside yet again. “Thank you,” I mouth toward her, holding her gaze.

  This continues as Julius hands me several gifts from him, Beck, and Levi. Monogrammed paper and stationery and even hand towels for my bathroom.

  There are gifts from Master Roman’s staff too. Evelyn, Weston, and Nancy have gathered in the room. Evelyn and Weston have gotten me my favorite chocolates and a fancy monogrammed umbrella. Everyone laughs at that gift, all of them knowing full well how often I have rushed into the house after classes dripping wet because I never carry an umbrella.

  Nancy has gotten me a grown-up designer purse, though I’m not sure when I’ll need it since my future seems to be in limbo.

  There are several gifts from Master Roman too, all of them fitting for a twelve-year-old. Some dresses and shoes. A mind game I know he’ll enjoy playing with me. A fancy Scrabble board. A first edition copy of Little Women.

  When all the gifts are open and the paper cleared away, Master Roman leans to one side and pulls one more item from his pocket. He places this in my palm. It’s obviously a jewelry box. A few inches long and narrow. Master Roman has gotten me several pieces of jewelry over the past three years. He always goes to great lengths to choose something meaningful and thoughtful. I know this one will be the same.

&nb
sp; I lift my gaze to his.

  He smiles at me warmly. “It won’t bite. I promise. Just open it.”

  I open this one slower, more carefully. Finally, I lift off the lid to reveal a silver bracelet. Hanging in the center is a small heart.

  “Look at the back, blossom.”

  My fingers are shaking as I flip the heart over to reveal the engraving. Daddy’s little girl. The print is so small that no one would ever notice it without getting incredibly close. That will never happen.

  Master Roman removes the bracelet from the box, and I offer him my hand so he can clasp it. I finger it reverently. And then I turn more fully into him and throw my arms around him. “Thank you,” I murmur against his neck. “I love it.”

  One of his hands slides over my bottom and up to my lower back under my dress. I don’t even care if anyone sees my panties. His other hand slides up my thigh until his fingers graze the bottom edge of the front of my panties.

  When I pull back, he kisses me gently on the lips. “I’m glad you like it.” His fingers on my thigh slide deeper between my legs until he flicks the middle one over my pussy.

  My face heats, and I squirm in his lap.

  “Stay still, little blossom,” he whispers.

  I try, but it’s hard with his kiss still lingering on my lips, his palm rubbing my naked back, my sore panty-covered bottom exposed, and his fingers now tormenting my clit through the cotton.

  The fact that we have an audience remains tucked in the back of my mind. Let them watch. Who cares?

  While he holds my gaze, I stare into his eyes. He loves me deeply. He’s spent the last three years making sure I know this and providing me with everything I could ever want. He literally saved me.

  My heart swells. I love him too. With all of my being. I know we need to talk about my future, but I also remind myself who I belong to and how lucky I am to have this amazing man in my life.

  When he dips his finger under the crotch of my panties and strokes my pussy, my breath hitches. I have to force myself not to squeeze my legs together, trapping his hand. I know better than to deny him access to my body. If I let my instinct to stiffen take control, I truly would find myself over his knee right here in this room, panties pulled down to my thighs, hand on my already burning skin.