Grizzly Survival Read online

  Gavin legs felt wobbly, and he lowered to the floor, setting his head on his front paws as if it were something he did every day.

  “Sleep, baby. I’ll be right here.” Dale plopped down on the floor next to him and buried his hand deeper into Gavin’s fur, stroking him soothingly.

  This new world he’d woken up in was definitely surreal, but Gavin felt a weight lifted at the same time. He could do this.

  He had no other choice.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Two weeks later…

  Gavin stood at the back door, staring out at the view. He held a mug of coffee in his hands, but it had gone cold a while ago. He couldn’t bring himself to move yet, not even to dump the cold beverage down the drain.

  Dale was working on his deck this morning. It struck Gavin that he’d first laid eyes on Dale in this same fashion, standing inside Wyatt’s home watching him work on a similar deck through the glass.

  So much had happened since that day a month ago. It was hard to believe it was July already. He’d spent the last several weeks recuperating, first at the clinic and then back at the house. In a way, it felt like it was his home too.

  Dale had gone to the apartment—now vacated by both Paige and Gavin—and retrieved his belongings before Gavin got out of the clinic.

  Gavin had faced the Arcadian Council soon after he was released from the hospital. He’d been nervous, but the meeting had gone smoothly. Dale had filled him in on everything that had occurred the day of his accident, and Gavin knew he owed his life to the split-second decision of George.

  Of course, Gavin would probably be alive even without George’s intervention, but his life would not be the same if Dale had been sent to prison for his interference with nature. Gavin was concerned for George, and he knew Dale was too, but George had come to the house with two other council members and didn’t mention a word about what he had faced in front of Eleanor or the rest of the council. Asking was out of the question.

  Transitioning to life as a shifter instead of a regular human had gone smoothly so far. Gavin had switched forms more times than most grizzlies normally did in the same time frame in order to spend most of his days and nights healing. The doctors said he wasn’t one hundred percent yet, but their diagnosis seemed odd to him because he felt stronger and more alive than he’d ever felt. He was curious to know how much better he could feel when he reached his full potential.

  There was one problem plaguing him, however. Although he felt physically stronger, emotionally something was off. And that something had everything to do with the man currently ignoring him outside.

  Of course, Dale knew exactly where Gavin was and that he was watching him through the window. But as was par for the course lately, Dale pretended not to know, working hard as if he were so deep in concentration to get this extremely important job done that he didn’t have the time to be bothered to lift his face and wave. Or fuck, at least smile.

  Perhaps it was a blessing that Gavin had managed to perfect the art of blocking people because lately his mind was a tornado of thoughts, none of which were filled with much hope.

  There was no way to pretend Dale hadn’t pulled away from Gavin. He’d doted on him for days at the clinic and even the first few days at the house, and then he’d withdrawn gradually until he reached a point where he rarely spoke, didn’t make eye contact, and often didn’t come to bed until late.

  He’d switched from constantly touching Gavin any time the two of them were both in a room to hanging on to the side of the bed to avoid contact.

  Gavin’s chest hurt, and he’d swallowed back more than his share of emotional stress lately. Clearly, Dale needed him to move out. Whatever bond they’d had before Gavin’s first shift had fizzled until they were living the shell of an existence like an old married couple after fifty years together.

  Whatever it was, Gavin knew he needed to pack his stuff and move back to the apartment. He’d spoken casually to Paige and found that the apartment was still vacant. Alton hadn’t been able to find another renter yet.

  Gavin needed to figure some things out anyway, and he wasn’t accomplishing anything while living in Dale’s home. Granted, he had the excuse of spending the majority of the last month recuperating from a dozen broken bones and shattered vertebrae that should have ended his life.

  But at some point, he needed to admit he was perfectly healed now. He hadn’t touched his thesis since before the accident. His life was in limbo. He had choices to make, including whether or not to stay in Silvertip.

  If anyone had asked him two weeks ago, he would have emphatically insisted he was now a resident of this small town with no intention of leaving. But that was before Dale went cold on him.

  Dale hadn’t worked for the first few weeks while Gavin was in the hospital either, but he’d jumped fully into the swing of things two weeks ago, working long odd hours in his home office and then spending his free time outside building this deck. Even though he’d lived in the home for several years, it was suddenly imperative that the deck be finished post-haste.

  Dale was avoiding Gavin.

  It was time to find some courage, face his once lover, and move out.

  He glanced down at his coffee and turned to dump it in the sink. With a deep breath, he stepped outside.

  Dale glanced up so briefly it was ridiculous. This was not the same man who’d professed such an unwavering connection just weeks ago. He had buyer’s remorse.

  Gavin’s hands were shaking, and he stuck them in the front pockets of his jeans, rocking forward and backward on the balls of his feet before speaking. “I’m going to call Paige and Wyatt and have them help me move my stuff back to the apartment later today.”

  Dale had his back to Gavin, but he stiffened before finally spinning around. “What? Why?” His face was pale, his eyes wide as if he’d just received the most horrifying information. It made no sense.

  Gavin tipped his head to the side and narrowed his gaze. “You obviously need some space. You’ve been avoiding me like I have a plague. I got the hint. I’m stronger now. I actually feel better than I did before the accident. I will be fine on my own. I need to figure out what I’m doing next with my life anyway. Finish my thesis. Find a job. Learn to live as a shifter.”

  Dale dropped whatever tool he was holding and took a few tentative steps closer. “I don’t want you to leave. Why would I want that?”

  Gavin frowned. “You rarely speak to me, Dale, and you haven’t touched me in days. I can’t remember when.”

  Dale shook his head. He swallowed, his face even paler. “No. God. Is that what you thought? That I didn’t want you here?”

  “What the hell else is there to think?” His voice rose a bit. His heart was pounding with sadness and confusion.

  “You have it all wrong, baby.” It was the first time he’d heard Dale use that endearment in weeks, and it came out gentle and loving. What the hell.

  “Do I?”

  “Apparently so.” Dale suddenly rushed forward, backing Gavin into the window behind him and cupping his face. He pressed his body firmly against Gavin. “You’ve misinterpreted me.”

  “How so? You’ve obviously lost interest.” Gavin’s throat was tight. His cock had also jumped to attention. He reached with one hand to cup Dale’s closely shaved cheek, his fingers threading in the long loose locks of his hair.

  Dale searched his face and then slowly smiled. “Baby, God.” He held his gaze. “I’ll never lose interest in you. Never. You hear me?”

  “You have a strange way of showing it.” What the hell was going on here?

  “I was letting you heal.”

  “Letting me heal? What the fuck does that mean? I’ve been healing fine. I’ve been perfectly okay for over a week, during which time you’ve ignored me as if I were intruding on your life. I got the message that you’re no longer attracted to me. So, I’m moving out.”

  Dale inhaled so slowly, his eyes closing halfway. Was he scenting him? “Baby, I’ve
never been more attracted to anyone in my life. I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but you’re ten times sexier than you were before you transitioned. When I’m in the same room with you—or even the house—my dick won’t behave. I can’t hold a thought or function properly. My bear wants to claim you. Bite you. Bind you to me in every possible way.”

  “Then why are you ignoring me? Do it,” Gavin challenged. He had expected them to bind when he got out of the hospital. He thought that was what Dale wanted. He knew it was what he wanted. Not a shred of doubt lingered in his mind. But then this withdrawal occurred.

  Dale flinched. “I was waiting for you to get accustomed to your new existence. You weren’t ready. It would be unfair of me to bind to you when you don’t fully grasp yet what that means. It’s not the same as a human marriage. It’s permanent in a way that can’t be broken. We would be bound together for life. A long life. Shifters don’t break up and go their separate ways like humans. We aren’t capable of it, and that’s difficult to comprehend. I don’t even fully grasp the entire force of what it means to bind because I’ve never done it. It’s a commitment you have to be certain of in your soul.”

  “And are you?” Gavin forced those words out through a tightness that started in his chest and rushed up to include his throat.

  “Me?” Dale’s grip on Gavin’s cheeks tightened. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. It’s you I’m worried about.”

  “So you ignored me? I’m still not grasping the connection.”

  He smiled slowly. “I did it for self-preservation. I didn’t know you’d noticed and taken it the wrong way. My bear wants you for itself selfishly. I want you to make your own decisions, not influenced by my damn lust.”

  “You think I don’t get it?” His voice rose. “I watched my best friend meet and bind to her soul mate just a month ago. Paige and Wyatt are a sight to behold. If that wasn’t evidence enough of what it means to bind, I don’t know what is.” He rolled his eyes. “Jesus, Dale, your lust isn’t one-sided. Don’t be so blind. I’ve wanted to fuck the daylights out of you from about two minutes after I woke up from that coma.

  Dale stiffened. “You want to fuck me?”

  “Of course.”

  He licked his lips. “You mean…?”

  “I mean I want to press my cock into your tight ass and feel what you feel when you do it to me. I want you to experience the same thing. I’d also like a repeat performance with you on top. I’m free now. Are you?” Gavin held his breath, waiting for Dale to respond. Had he asked for too much? Maybe when Dale said he didn’t bottom he meant never. And that was okay. It wasn’t a deal breaker, but Gavin would sure like to try it at least once. He was curious, and part of him wanted the one piece of Dale no one else had ever claimed.

  Too many seconds went by while Gavin promised himself he wouldn’t be disappointed. And then a slow smile and Dale’s low, deep, sexy, raspy voice. “I’d like that.”

  The air whooshed from Gavin’s lungs.

  Dale reached around him and opened the back door. Without looking, he backed Gavin into the house and shut the door behind them. In a heartbeat, Dale lifted Gavin’s shirt and whipped it over his head. He dragged one finger down Gavin’s chest until Gavin shivered. “You’re sure you feel up to this?”

  “Lord, Dale. I’m positive. Nothing hurts. I’m one hundred and ten percent.”

  “Good. Get naked.”

  “So bossy.”

  Dale grasped Gavin’s chin with his fingers and met his gaze, inches separating them. “I’m not going to be slow or gentle this time, baby. It’s been a long time since we last fucked, I’m horny as hell, and the fact that you’re now a shifter makes you even sexier. So yeah, get in the bedroom, remove everything, and get on your knees.”

  Gavin didn’t hesitate. The moment Dale released him, he padded down the hallway. His hands were shaking from the desperate need to fuck, so badly it was difficult to remove his jeans. He managed though, and his cock bobbed even stiffer as he lowered himself to his knees in the middle of the room. Submitting to Dale made him so damn hot. It had been amazing even before the transition, but he instinctively knew it was going to be twice as good now. He’d dreamed of this moment for weeks. It was finally here.

  His newfound ability to sense things stronger than before came in handy as he listened to Dale’s footsteps coming down the hall. He closed his eyes and pictured every detail as he heard the swish of fabric that indicated Dale’s chest was now bare. The teeth of his zipper resounded in the room next.

  Gavin inhaled long and slow, savoring the scent of lust and Dale. His pheromones filled the entire house. It had been difficult to concentrate for the last several weeks with the pull to bind tugging at him.

  A tingling spread down Gavin’s arms and torso as Dale set his hands on Gavin’s shoulders. “It makes my dick so hard when you submit to me like this.”

  Gavin’s face was angled toward the floor, and he opened his eyes to see his own erection standing proud and eager. “Me too, Sir.” The entire flavor of this role-play was different somehow. Enhanced. So much more intense now that Gavin had transitioned.

  “I never thought I’d say this, but I want you inside me.”

  Gavin’s breath hitched. Thank God.

  “Not promising I’m going to love it or that we’ll do it all the time. I also don’t want you to confuse fucking me with topping me.”

  “Yes, Sir.” He shuddered as Dale punctuated his words with a squeeze to his shoulders.

  Dale leaned down and set his lips on Gavin’s ear. Now the chill switched to goosebumps as Dale’s breath wafted across his lobe. Dale whispered, “You are so damn sexy. I’ve never craved having a man’s cock inside me before now.”

  Gavin nodded, his face flushing. It meant the world to him that Dale would not only permit him to at least try the new position but that Dale also seemed to lust for it.

  Dale pressed gently on Gavin’s back. “Hands and knees.”

  Gavin complied, wondering how this was going to work but not offering any suggestions. If Dale needed to control the situation and find his way, Gavin would let him.

  “Let me fuck you first, baby. I need to take the edge off. If I don’t, my entire attention is going to be on getting myself off instead of the feel of you inside me. Okay?”

  It was odd that he would ask permission. “Of course, Sir.” Gavin’s pulse picked up, and he rocked back into Dale’s touch, needing any contact.

  But Dale stood and padded across the room instead. He pulled open the drawer of the bedside table and returned with lube.

  Just knowing his ass was about to be penetrated by this gorgeous lover of his made his dick harder every time, but this time was even more significant. Gavin just hoped Dale would understand that same intense craving and even enjoy it.

  He also prayed he wouldn’t come all over the floor the instant Dale penetrated him.

  Dale set a hand on Gavin’s lower back and tapped his tight hole with his other fingers. Cool, wet lube drew a moan out of Gavin’s throat. “Please.”

  “God, I love it when you beg like that. Let me stretch you.”

  Gavin didn’t think he needed stretching, but then again, it had been weeks since he’d had anything inside him. Four very long weeks.

  One finger slowly entered him and thrust a few times.

  Gavin rocked back into the contact, his cock bobbing in the air.

  Dale added a second finger, stretching and twisting until Gavin thought he would lose his mind. “Please,” he pleaded again.

  A third finger joined the first two. “So tight. So damn tight. I’m going to come the second I’m inside you.”

  Fine. Good. Do it.

  Dale chuckled, reminding Gavin he could read his thoughts. “It’s going to be so fun dominating you now that I can hear your thoughts. You’re going to learn a whole new level of submission, and I’m going to have to find creative ways to punish your silent insolence.” He punctuated those last w
ords with the hard pounding of his fingers as deep as they could reach, and then his hand disappeared.

  Gavin whimpered, trying hard not to think any thoughts at all.

  “Not going to silently command me anymore?”

  “No, Sir.”

  Another chuckle. “You work on that while I fuck you so hard you can’t keep your mind from opening up.” Dale grabbed Gavin’s hips with both hands, kicked his knees apart, settled between them, and thrust his length all the way to the hilt without another word.

  Gavin’s vision blurred at the sharp, intense stretch. The slight edge of pain made him almost come. He’d never come with no contact to his cock. Today might be a new day. He gritted his teeth, concentrating on keeping his thoughts subordinate and his orgasm at bay.

  “Damn, you’re even sexier when you juggle too many things in your mind.” Dale pulled partway out and then thrust back in. His words were clipped. “So…good.”

  He wasn’t kidding. Nothing had ever felt this good. Having Dale inside him like this was even better since the transition. It had been amazing before, but it was out of this world now.

  “I. Can. Hear. Your. Thoughts.” Dale pounded harder, groaning after he spoke.

  Gavin didn’t care what his partner heard anymore. Instead, he let himself slide into that place where nothing else existed except the feel of his ass being filled by the only man he’d ever love.

  Another moan. Had Dale heard that last thought clearly? Dale gripped his hips tighter and then grunted as he gave one final thrust and held himself deep.

  The pulsing of his lover’s cock was almost more than Gavin could handle and keep from coming. In fact, he lifted one hand and gripped his dick firmly to dampen the need. The fact that he could hold himself up with one hand was a testament to his new increased strength.

  Dale was breathing heavily when he slid out of Gavin’s ass. He reached around and wrapped his hand over Gavin’s. “Good boy.”

  Gavin nodded, unable to speak, still trying to get ahold of himself.

  “Saving that for my ass, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, Sir.”