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  He smiled. “I remember.”

  “I’m not sure I ever went out there unless it was to take out the trash. I don’t remember it being quiet either. The houses were close together. Many of the neighbors fought or played loud music. And the cigarette smoke. I remember smoke coming from every direction. My father smokes. All the neighbors did.”

  Heather stared into space, seeing nothing for a minute. The memories made her sad. Funny how she hadn’t realized not everyone lived like that. She hadn’t fully grasped that there could be peace and quiet until she stayed here for two weeks.

  She swallowed and continued rambling. She didn’t know why, but she knew Neil was listening and wouldn’t stop her. “It feels like I only partially escaped in a way. Like I took a lot of that with me with my meager possessions. I arrived here and stuck just one foot in a different world.”

  She folded her arms around her knees and set her chin on them. “I threw myself into my job with the airline and tried desperately to be someone else, to leave my old life behind. I tried to blend in with the other women I met, made friends even, found roommates, bought nicer things, lived in better places. But it feels like I was pretending. Sometimes my past feels like it’s right on my heels, tormenting me, taunting me, warning me that I can’t actually escape.”

  Heather appreciated that Neil didn’t interrupt her. She knew she was rambling, but she just wanted to purge this shit from her chest. Maybe it was the fire, a last straw of sorts that cracked her armor and made her feel vulnerable.

  “The nicest place I’ve ever lived was that condo with Raeann up until we had to let it go. In a way, it was a blessing because I knew I needed to find a place of my own and spend time alone. I’d never been alone. Not really. Not for long.”

  She drew in a deep breath. “And then, just my luck, I get the most godawful neighbor on earth, like the universe was telling me something. Laughing at me. Who am I to think I can be better than where I came from?”

  Heather swiped at a stupid uninvited tear and kept going. “Seemed like my punishment for trying to escape my childhood for a highfalutin job and nice things was to be constantly tormented by shouting and abuse at all hours of the day and night.”

  She shifted her gaze to Neil. “For a year. For an entire year, I’ve lived with that constant drama, never getting enough sleep, just like when I was a kid and my dad would come home drunk and start screaming at my mom. Sometimes I slid out of bed and curled up in a corner of my room with my hands over my ears, praying he wouldn’t come in my room and add me to the abuse. I just rocked back and forth, trying to shut out the noise.”

  Neil’s expression was filled with sorrow.

  Heather gasped, an ugly sob escaping. “He killed her last night, Neil. Oh, God.” She threaded her fingers in her hair and squeezed her head. “I sat there for a year listening to him abuse her and never did a single thing. I never went over there to check on her. I never called the cops. And he killed her.”

  Neil stood and came to Heather, lifting her tight ball of a body off the chair and taking her spot, holding her in his lap. “I’m so sorry.”

  She started to cry harder. “I blocked it out all morning,” she sobbed. “What I’d heard.” Her voice rose. “He fucking killed her with a knife and then burned her dead body, and I did nothing.”

  Neil held her tighter, brushing her hair back from her forehead. “It’s not your fault, baby. You know that. You know better than most people how fine the line is. You said yourself you worried that he might get even angrier if you called the cops or tried to help. You know in your heart you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help.”

  He kissed the top of her head and rocked her gently, his arms wrapped tightly around her as if he could hold her together.

  Heather cried for a while longer, and then sucked in the last sniffles. “Maybe I’m too broken for the real world.”

  “You’re not, baby.”

  “Maybe I’m not meant to escape and have nice things.”

  “You are.” He leaned back and met her blurry gaze. “You’re so strong, and you’ve come so far.”

  She hiccupped. “Have I though? I arrived here only to date a series of guys no better than my father, eventually including that fucking pilot, Hawke. A pilot. My first white-collar boyfriend. Or so I thought. But it turns out money and education don’t even factor into abuse. Wealthy people are also abusers.”

  She flinched. “He was fucking married. I didn’t even know that. I let him verbally abuse me and fuck me and slap me around in the end. Why did I do that?”

  Heather had no idea why the events from three years ago with a man who was now dead and could never hurt her or anyone else again had come to the forefront. It was like everything in her world was crashing together, like a fifty-car pileup of her entire shitshow of a life.

  She’d thought she’d gotten past Hawke and what he’d done to reinforce her legacy. She’d met amazing women out of that bonfire, made great friends, people who loved each other and supported each other, people from nice homes and kind families, women who Heather wished she could be.

  She’d been doing so well for a while, even moving into a much nicer condo with Raeann and then taking the step to move into her own place. She’d hung in there with her friends, but somehow she’d spent the last year feeling like she didn’t fully belong. Living on the periphery, her cheap apartment and rowdy neighbors reminding her that she didn’t deserve better.

  “It wasn’t your fault, baby,” Neil soothed. “He was a dick. You deserve better.”

  “Do I?” She blinked at him, uncertain.

  “Of course you do. Everyone does.”

  “Maybe we aren’t all meant to have nice things.”

  He stroked her hair. “You are, Heather. I promise. I know it feels like a long steep hill to climb, but you can climb it, and people love you and will help you. I will. I’ve slid down slippery slopes myself. Maybe not as deep or as far as you, but I can at least empathize. And now I’m at the top, and the view is amazing. Take my hand. Let me pull you up so you can see it too.”

  He threaded his fingers with hers and kissed her knuckles.

  Tears slid down her cheeks again.

  “You can do it. You just have to believe you deserve more. Why continue to give your power to your father, or those assholes you dated after you left home, or Hawke, or even the fucker who killed his girlfriend last night? You didn’t even know his name until last night. Why does he get to hold your power?”

  Damn. Neil was right.

  “Prove them all wrong. Shove them into the past. Don’t give them another glance. Look forward. Grab what life is offering you. Know that you deserve it. You’re an amazing woman with a huge heart.”

  She wrapped her arms around him and held on, letting him hold her, letting him ease the pain. “Thank you,” she finally whispered.

  “Any time.”

  “You always know just what to say. Do you think you can fix my work problems too? Maybe track down whoever is hacking into the system and adding to my daily stress?” she joked.

  “I can certainly try.”

  She chuckled. “I was kidding of course.”

  “I’m not. We’ve talked about it at work. Tank gets a daily earful from Shayla with the latest updates. I know he’s digging around. After all, we’re computer programmers. We do know a thing or two about hacking.” He smiled at her.

  She was kind of shocked, though she shouldn’t have been. It should have occurred to her that Jake would be trying to solve the mystery himself. Every one of these guys was computer savvy and their women all worked for the airline that was being tampered with. Westside Programmers probably already had more information than the police or the FBI by now.

  “Ugh. That situation is a mess. It doesn’t help that I’m a mess at the same time.”

  “You’re not. You’ve just been through a lot. I bet you’ll feel better after purging that shit. You’re also exhausted. How about a nap and then I’l
l figure out dinner and we can watch a movie or do something quiet and relaxed?”

  She nodded. “That sounds amazing. I think I’ll curl up out here on your outdoor couch. I love the sound of the leaves blowing in the breeze, the birds chirping, even the distant mower. It’s just so peaceful.”

  He rose, taking her with him, and deposited her on the wicker couch cushions. He left her there for a few seconds and returned with a blanket, which he draped over her body before leaning over and kissing her temple. “Rest.”

  Chapter 10

  As he buttoned up his shirt, checking himself in the mirror, Neil felt uncertain about taking Heather to his parents’ party. Was he rushing her? Pushing her to do something she didn’t feel comfortable with?

  After her emotional purge yesterday, she’d been quiet and shy and embarrassed the rest of the afternoon, but she’d also curled up next to him on the couch, laughed at the rom-com he’d found on TV, and eaten several slices of the pizza he’d ordered.

  Today, she’d appeared to feel more refreshed. He thought she’d slept well. He hadn’t heard her get up in the night at least, and she’d looked refreshed this morning. She’d spent several hours on the phone with the insurance company and spoken to her boss. She’d also gone to the police station to answer questions.

  Neil had offered to go with her, but she’d declined. Her car was still at her apartment building, its condition uncertain since the attached parking structure had yet to be cleared for tenants to enter. She’d taken Neil’s SUV and come back several hours later looking no worse for the wear.

  Meanwhile, Neil had spoken to Tank for a while about the airline situation. He knew all the guys were concerned. After all, their significant others all worked for the airline. Tank had confirmed that he’d been digging deeper into the problem and was devoting all the time he could after hours to figuring out where the hacking was originating.

  If they could nail down the location of the IP address, maybe they could get ahead of the police. After all, Westside Programmers didn’t have to follow the strict protocols the government and the police had to follow. Neil knew Tank would have no scruples about protecting the privacy of the hacker. If he found the guy, he would also figure out a way to nail him to the ground and end the shenanigans.

  It would be nice if Westside Programmers could manage to solve this mystery before someone got hurt. Neil was newer to the team, but he wasn’t unaware of how many things all their women had been through at work.

  He prayed nothing like that fell into Heather’s lap. She was dealing with a plateful already. The addition of serious issues at work would be more than she could handle.

  He was still concerned about tonight too. A tightness in his chest made him go hunt her down.

  She was in the hall bathroom, the door ajar.

  He gave the door a light rap with his knuckles. “Can I come in?”

  “Yes.”

  When he pushed the door the rest of the way open, he stopped breathing, his gaze roaming up and down her body. She had her arms up in the air, fiddling with a clip in her hair. “Holy shit,” he murmured.

  She twisted her face to look at him. “What?”

  He swallowed. “That dress. Just…damn.”

  She smiled and dropped her arms. “You like it? It’s not too much? You asked for red, so…”

  “It’s fucking gorgeous. So are you.” He reached out with one hand and trailed his finger along her bare collarbone. The dress was sleeveless, the bodice fitted. Her breasts were high from some sort of pushup bra that he was certain would make his mouth water if he saw it. Red too. He could see the edge of it until she adjusted the front.

  The skirt hung mid-thigh, the material loose, thin layers of lace and satin. Her legs seemed to go on forever, her feet in dainty gold heels he was certain his sister had a part in selecting.

  “It’s not too much? I don’t want to stand out. Am I overdressed? Amy said it was perfect, but now I’m uncertain.” She bit her lip.

  He stepped closer, drawn like a magnet. He set his hands on her biceps and smoothed them up to her shoulders. “It’s stunning.” He leaned in and kissed her neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent. “Please tell me there’s a thong under this skirt that matches that bra I caught a glimpse of.”

  She wiggled her brows. “Maybe.” She shivered. “Perhaps I’ll stick it under the couch cushions later,” she teased.

  “Preferably not at my parents’ house.”

  She giggled. “Definitely not.”

  He slid his fingers to her neck. “I love the gold jewelry.” He fingered the thin necklace.

  “Thank your sister for that too. We swung by her house yesterday. She lent me this set for tonight.”

  “She has good taste.” He met her gaze. “Are you okay with this? I feel like I’ve pressured you, and I don’t ever want you to feel pressured.”

  Her hands flattened on his chest. “It’s fine,” she whispered.

  He slid his hands down to her lower back and hauled her into his embrace, loving the way it felt to hold her against him. He kissed her softly. “I don’t want anything in your life to ever be fine from now on. I don’t want to bully you into anything. You deserve to make your own choices and decisions. You’ve been through hell, especially in the last few days. If this party is stressing you out, we can stay home.”

  She smoothed her hands up his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her smile melted him. “I’m looking forward to it. We’re going to have a great time. But I appreciate you considering my feelings more than I can express. It means a lot to me.”

  He kissed her again. “Baby, your feelings will always be my top priority. I promise.”

  “I need you to understand that I’m a bit out-of-body. It feels like the world is happening around me and I’m observing. I don’t fully feel like I fit in or belong anywhere. It’s kind of awkward. I fake it when I’m at work or out with people, but inside I usually feel disconnected. I don’t want you to worry if I look like I’m not exactly present at times.”

  He set his nose against hers and slid his face down to nuzzle her neck. “Okay,” he whispered in her ear. “Please let me know if you get uncomfortable or overwhelmed. We can step outside or find a quiet room. Besides my parents and my sister, I care more about you than anyone at this party. Got it?”

  If there was an inch of space between them, she closed it, flattening herself to him even closer than before. “Deal,” she whispered before patting his ass. “Now, let’s get our shit together and get going. We’re late.”

  He chuckled. “Did you pack an overnight bag?”

  “Yep. It’s by the front door already.”

  He met her gaze. “You’ll be sleeping in my childhood bedroom. Don’t worry, my Mom has turned it into a guest room. It no longer has scary concert posters on the walls.” He chuckled.

  “Where will you be sleeping?” She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth.

  He shrugged. “Just wherever. Couch maybe. I’ll wing it.”

  “Or…in the bed with me.” She narrowed her eyes. “It’s not your parents who care. You’re planning to sleep somewhere else to make me comfortable, aren’t you?”

  “Yep.” He nuzzled her neck again and reluctantly pulled back.

  She grabbed his arm before he could escape. “I think I can manage sharing a bed, Neil. I’m not a total prude.”

  He chuckled. “I never said you were. I don’t want you to feel awkward. Let’s just see what happens, okay?”

  He stepped back again into the hallway but he continued to stare at her for several moments while she gathered her toiletries. Damn, she was amazing. Now he just needed to convince her of that.

  Chapter 11

  Heather fidgeted on the way to his parents’ house, but not for the reasons he suspected. She wasn’t overly concerned about meeting his family or their friends. She wasn’t even particularly worried about what they would think of her. She was mostly stressed about how the rest of the guests would
be dressed, concerned she was over or underdressed, which would be a disaster.

  As soon as they pulled into the driveway, Heather twisted her neck around to see the other people who were arriving and catch a glimpse of what they were wearing.

  She finally breathed easy when she ascertained that everyone was dressed similarly. She shouldn’t have doubted her choice; after all, Amy had helped her pick it out. She would’ve known better than anyone what the dress code would look like.

  The red seemed a bit flashy and bold, but several women were also wearing bold colors, and besides, Neil quite obviously thought Heather looked sexy. He didn’t need to keep telling her. His heated roaming gaze spoke volumes.

  Amy greeted them at the door. She looked fantastic—black sequin dress that hugged every one of her perfect curves. Her dark hair was swept up off her face, long curls hanging down her back. She had on strappy black heels too.

  Heather blew out a breath and relaxed.

  A blond woman joined Amy at the door even before Heather and Neil managed to fully step inside. She was shorter, closer to Heather’s five-four, and petite. She had a stylish blond bob, perfect makeup, a shiny white silk dress, and silver heels.

  She smiled broadly as she stroked Amy’s arm on her way by. She kissed Neil on the cheek. “You look handsome.” She patted him on the chest and turned toward Heather, her smile growing. “And you must be Heather.” She leaned in and gave her an air kiss. “I’m Renee. So nice to meet you.”

  “Nice to meet you too.”

  Neil leaned close and whispered in her ear. “Be right back. I’m going to stash our bags, okay?”

  She nodded.

  “I’ll introduce her around,” Amy said, wrapping an arm around Heather’s.

  Neil hesitated, his brow furrowed, his gaze on his sister.

  Heather squeezed his arm. “I’m fine.”